Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03 - 10-3-03

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys


POLL:
Is this response an example of:
a) passive/aggressiveness
b) rudeness
c) stupidity
or d) other?

str8

A and B

Someone came by with a kid today, people bring their kids by every now and again. Normally it isn't the employee bringing the kid. We have one who is an ex employee who left to have her child who comes back every few months.

Today's kid decided she loved me and took me for a walk.

I have to be in the mood to allow these things though, normally I just shut my door and ignore them. It does bug me when I have a headache, but then again, everything bugs me when I have a headache. And on those days I sit there thinking, what is this a fucking nursery?

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
As for the two-month old, I think you ought to write back saying, basically, "you must have misunderstood; we're not inviting children. If you need help locating a babysitter to take care of your baby during the reception/wedding, please let me know."

There is an age below which not inviting the baby means disinviting the mother, assuming that breast-feeding is involved, and I think two months is below that. NTTAWWT, but it may mean the disinvitation should be more delicate.

[Fugee]

Originally posted by LessinSF
This may be the first thing you have said that I agree with. I remain scarred for life from this time I was in New Orleans and a "girl" failed to give me fair warning before she bared her navel ticklers for some cheap baubles. <shudder>

If you'd have given me the beads when I asked nicely, I wouldn't have had to hurt you.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
It appears as if I finally have a friend.

Apparently someone who missed the entire vanillawhitebreadanalsex series.

No unfortunately, I was there from beginning to end (no pun intended).

But for this one - I just got defensive over the name calling about a topic I (and apparently purse junkie) agreed with and was just covering your back. Anytime baby.
:bounce:

[ThrashersFan]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
POLL:
Is this response an example of:
a) passive/aggressiveness
b) rudeness
c) stupidity
or d) other?

str8

Probably (d), especially if she is breastfeeding. She wants to come to the wedding but perhaps leaving the little sack of joy would be impossible. Perhaps you can seat her in the last row closest to the door near someone whom you can trust to "assist" her out of the room if baby noises begin? If she is breastfeeding, you should send an e-mail advising her that it is rude to eat in front of others unless you have brought enough for everyone (or so my mom says) and she should consider that before whipping out some tit in the middle of the ceremony. Besides, it is always rude to show more tit than the bride.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by leagleaze
And on those days I sit there thinking, what is this a fucking nursery?

I see your point about the headache and everything - sometimes it just bothers me that more workplaces don't have daycare/nursery facilities. It would make things so much easier for families. It can't cost that much, can it?

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Tyrone_Slothrop
There is an age below which not inviting the baby means disinviting the mother, assuming that breast-feeding is involved, and I think two months is below that. NTTAWWT, but it may mean the disinvitation should be more delicate.

Or the father can stay home with the child, or hold the child during the wedding service outside the church/hall/area. Look to the unrelated spouse to handle the 2 month old. Anyway, how long is the service? Other than catholic weddings involving a full Mass, they usually seem to move pretty quickly. Maybe purse junkie can volunteer a guest-breast to Str8's cousin to help smooth things out.

Perhaps greater delicacy is warranted, but it seems that this person was being a bit obtuse, and often one needs to be rudely direct with people who don't want to play by the rules.

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I see your point about the headache and everything - sometimes it just bothers me that more workplaces don't have daycare/nursery facilities. It would make things so much easier for families. It can't cost that much, can it?

I think it would cost a lot where I work, since there is no space for it, so you would have to add the space, you would have to add staff to watch them, you would have the insurance. But where I live a lot of folks have one family member (normally the mom) home with the kid, so it doesn't really matter. My employer is relatively small though, and there aren't that many kids, so it wouldn't make sense anyway. But I don't see it being cheap at all, no. Not if you do it properly, and depending on the number of kids.

There are plenty of daycares around though. Plenty of places for people to put their kids, all quite close.

My secretary needed to work very odd hours so she didn't have to put her child in daycare and I had no problem allowing that even though it really is quite an inconvenience. So there is always that option if you have an understanding boss. Sometimes if she has to come in in the middle of the day, she brings her daughter, and sometimes when she comes back (she is gone in the middle of the day, works earlier in the morning and a bit later at night) she brings her. Her daughter loves me and likes to come talk with me, but my secretary gets very upset with her for distracting me. If I don't want her around she makes sure she isn't around, so it is fine.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I see your point about the headache and everything - sometimes it just bothers me that more workplaces don't have daycare/nursery facilities. It would make things so much easier for families. It can't cost that much, can it?

Yes it can. Not only in terms of liability, but it never fucking works. Picture this...10 new moms have just dropped their kids off at the daycare on the X floor of your building. 9:30 rolls around - 1 of them wants to go take a peek to see how things are doing. Another one says "Oh, I'll go with you." Other people see them leaving and tag along. 10:30 repeat. I have seen this happen and no work gets done. It's too big of a temptation just to sneak a peek 20 times a day. And heaven forbid if one of them gets sick - they all get sick and then the plague spreads to the rest of the office and blah blah blah.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Perhaps greater delicacy is warranted, but it seems that this person was being a bit obtuse, and often one needs to be rudely direct with people who don't want to play by the rules.

I don't think she was being obtuse. It seemed like a passive-aggressive way of informing Str8 that if she couldn't bring the baby, she couldn't come at all, and she would just hate to miss it, all the more so in light of how little trouble the infant would be and how considerate the cousin would be.

Of course, she should just have said so, rather than write an email that forces Str8 to play the ogre.

Edited to add: Str8, I think it would be best for you to hire a babysitter for the reception, you will save yourself a lot of heartache and finger-wagging about proper etiquette, etc.

[ThrashersFan]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I see your point about the headache and everything - sometimes it just bothers me that more workplaces don't have daycare/nursery facilities. It would make things so much easier for families. It can't cost that much, can it?

I am on the fence on this one. I personally would not use a workplace daycare but that is because I am so adamant about keeping my two lives separate and having my little Boo in the same building would make that difficult (both for me and him).
It may also be over the line for those people who feel that employers (and society) already go out of the way too much for parents. Although they have not yet revolted over feeling slighted for having to work more so that Sally can go to her kid's play (or so they think) or pay property taxes that pay for schools, using company money to provide an on-site daycare may push them over the edge. And they might be right. I mean, why not an on-site gym then? Or a cool disco with free bar? Why just cater to parents and their needs? How about a conjugal visits room complete with people to get conjugal with? Everyone has needs.

I would not object to on-site daycare and I personally feel that it could be a good move financially if you determine that the company can generate more revenues by having it. I just won't be holding my breath waiting for them to become the rule rather than the exception.

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Maybe purse junkie can volunteer a guest-breast to Str8's cousin to help smooth things out.

If no-one minds my swatting the little squealer across the room the minute it comes remotely near my decolletage.

And I reiterate, the cousin is lying when they say they'll take the baby out when it squawks. Just lying.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Or the father can stay home with the child, or hold the child during the wedding service outside the church/hall/area. Look to the unrelated spouse to handle the 2 month old. Anyway, how long is the service? Other than catholic weddings involving a full Mass, they usually seem to move pretty quickly. Maybe purse junkie can volunteer a guest-breast to Str8's cousin to help smooth things out.

Perhaps greater delicacy is warranted, but it seems that this person was being a bit obtuse, and often one needs to be rudely direct with people who don't want to play by the rules.

It's a "no children/babies at the ceremony or reception" policy, not a "no children/babies at the short ceremony" policy. Maybe the person was being a bit obtuse, indeed . . . .

edited to say:

Burger, you know I love you live a brother -- I don't mean to be picking on you today, it's just working out that way.

[Fugee]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
While we're on the topic of skin care, has anybody ever tried any scar therapy products you can get in the drugstore? It turns out that I am literally thin-skinned, as I'll end up with a scar after the slightest scrape or scratch, despite diligent hygiene.

Try vitamin E oil, which you have to put on right away when it is a scab and not a scar.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Tyrone_Slothrop
It's a "no children/babies at the ceremony or reception" policy, not a "no children/babies at the short ceremony" policy. Maybe the person was being a bit obtuse, indeed . . . .

right, either of which is solved if the unrelated spouse takes the child. Or they can trade off. I went to a wedding recently where one of the bride's best friends and her husband basically played tag team with their v. young child. She went to the ceremony. He came for the reception. She came for the dinner, and saved his plate, which she sent him over to eat when she was done. It seemed to work out well, considering the circumstances.

Mmmm(well, except for the fact that I nabbed his filet while they were trading places)Burger