Fringey's taut-abbed painter

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
He just won the Cup. Isn't that enough.

they get to hold on to it till "next" season, right?

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Diane_Keaton
I dunno. Might not even be pasty faces that skeeve me out. May just be Scottish people now. Damn, they are a sorry looking bunch. If I were ever transferred to Edinburgh I'd turn gay quick (although I bet the ladies are equally beastly -- oh, and spare me the links to Scottish models). I mean, ugh, just look at these Scots from sports websites. Cover that shit up, Scotty-O's!!!

You spend more time thinking about ugly people than TM and Coltrane spend thinking about pretty people.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
When I was 23, I finally had sex with a girl I'd wanted to screw since the 7th grade. Just an unbelievable body. She was a year older than me. We were having drinks and sitting by the pool. It was about midnight. She spontaneously took off all of her clothes and jumped in the pool. I followed. We made out in the pool, and then headed to the bedroom (since the pool was in clear view of all of the people in the living room of the house) to fuck. We took the outside stairs to the second floor, completely naked. Apparently everyone was watching.

Did she live up to my expectations? She had a body like Eva Longoria, but bigger TITS. Seriously. Nuff said.

Did I live up to my expectations? Probably some of my worst fucking ever. I was too drunk and just couldn't believe my luck. I couldn't believe I was fucking this girl that I'd lusted after for 10 years. So, I guess I blew it. Too soon, that is.

Not me but a friend. A famous movie actress who has been lusted after on these boards, and had her image posted so all could share the lust. A random meet in a bar in Hyannis on a hot summer night. A night at the family cottage. She left a handscribbled note under a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice in the morning. She was gone when he awoke.

Was it all he imagined?

Let's put it this way - his sister was able to deliver us a virtual blow-by-blow of the whole thing one evening when we brought by a nice Bordeaux.

Oh, and his parents found the note before he did.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Diane_Keaton
Um, no, I actually can NOT tell from any ratio. She is pretty (to the point of distraction** when I'm trying to watch a movie she's in) but NOT because of any "ratio." Good God, man. Were you a math major? You have such a thing for proportion. You bring one of those soft tape measures out on a date with you, don't you. I'm not EVEN gonna mention the pocket protector.

Stop being retarded. When I say "ratio," it is simply my shorthand for the ideal hourglass figure. But, it's much, much more. If you don't have large breasts, it doesn't matter because what is important is (i) the shape of your breasts and (ii) your waist size in relation to your breasts.

You can be very slim and have a nice shape and almost no breasts and have a great body. You can be overweight (by most standards) and curve and fill out in the right places and have a nice body. Etc.

And no need for a soft tape measure, a good breast-to-waist ratio is as clear as the mole on Enrique's face.

TM

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by lookingformarket
Please devise a game show that can be played on broadcast television that is lower than this http://www.c21media.net/resources/de...&article=22861

It would be better if the kids weren't adopted and still had to guess who their biological father is.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Enrique. He does nothing for me. Even without the gigantic mole on his face.

Until this came up today, I'm not clear that I realized that Enrique Iglesias and Marc Anthony aren't the same person (could they actually be the same person? has anyone ever seen them at the same place at the same time?). When I read that thing about Anna K getting married, I wondered where that left JLo. I'm guessing that the folks at People will revoke my subscription if I admit that to them. And no, I can't name a single song that either one of them sings. I could name a song or two by Julio, though, if that helps my latin singer street cred. Probably not, eh?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
You spend more time thinking about ugly people than TM and Coltrane spend thinking about pretty people.

I think about ugly people too. I just don't share it.

TM

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Not me but a friend. A famous movie actress who has been lusted after on these boards, and had her image posted so all could share the lust. A random meet in a bar in Hyannis on a hot summer night. A night at the family cottage. She left a handscribbled note under a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice in the morning. She was gone when he awoke.

Was it all he imagined?

Let's put it this way - his sister was able to deliver us a virtual blow-by-blow of the whole thing one evening when we brought by a nice Bordeaux.

Oh, and his parents found the note before he did.

A friend of a friend reportedly slept with Rob Lowe one summer in the Hamptons and reportedly he has a small penis. I don't think he ever called the FOF again so I would take that with a grain, heh heh, of salt.

He's very pretty and I like to look at him, regardless -- it's too bad he's not still on the West Wing.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I think about ugly people too. I just don't share it.

TM

Thank you.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I'm pretty sure you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. "Chicks from da block." Somebody should smack your dumb ass.

TM

Dude, you forget. I did criminal work for a bunch of years. I've heard all the speeches about "the Nation" until my ears bled. Shit, I had one client who drove me nuts because he would throw a hissy fit if a hearing conflicted with his friday prayer schedule. Idiot. Another screwhead once told me he couldn't press the elevator switch in my office because it would violate his hasidic views. And a partner at one firm got all bent at me for ordering meat on Friday during lent despite my obvious Catholic name. I smiled, but wanted to tell him to mind his own fucking business.

I'm not singling these idiots in burqas out - they're just another group of silly fools who buy into some faux spiritual horseshit de jour.* Thats part of being an American I guess. You get to have imbecilic beliefs and run around dressed like a horse's ass.

* Nor am I singling out people who join the Nation in jail. Shit, you gotta join something there if you're doing a long stint.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
A friend of a friend reportedly slept with Rob Lowe one summer in the Hamptons and reportedly he has a small penis. I don't think he ever called the FOF again so I would take that with a grain, heh heh, of salt.

He's very pretty and I like to look at him, regardless -- it's too bad he's not still on the West Wing.

He is pretty. And he does look like he would have a small penis. So does his brother. Maybe that's why Mrs. Chad Lowe is always running off and leaving Chad in the dust.

And, G3, why would you bother typing up that whole story and leave out the name of the star? Worried that she's reading the boards? Is it Katherine Hepburn?

[Diane_Keaton]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Stop being retarded. When I say "ratio," it is simply my shorthand for the ideal hourglass figure. But, it's much, much more. If you don't have large breasts, it doesn't matter because what is important is (i) the shape of your breasts and (ii) your waist size in relation to your breasts.

You can be very slim and have a nice shape and almost no breasts and have a great body. You can be overweight (by most standards) and curve and fill out in the right places and have a nice body. Etc.

And no need for a soft tape measure, a good breast-to-waist ratio is as clear as the mole on Enrique's face.

TM

Go back and think through that formula especially the second part. If a woman has large breasts, you are still not going to put up with a large waist. Or even bulky forearms. Your ratio thing really only applies to certain body parts. Which is fine, NTTAWWT and okay then.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
You spend more time thinking about ugly people than TM and Coltrane spend thinking about pretty people.

FWIW, I fucked Bea Arthur.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
FWIW, I fucked Bea Arthur.

You promised you would never reveal your special nickname for me on the boards.

Bastard.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
He is pretty. And he does look like he would have a small penis.

What does this mean?