Fashion Board 4-6-04 to 5-7-04

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
I totally misunderstood your Pet Name Standard.

I took it to mean the time at which you began to call your date by a pet name. Which would work better for some of us than others.

Neither standard would have worked for my sister. He was calling her "baby" all night, and since she took him to her house, he was formally introduced her dog (who is a questionable judge of character, he likes everyone). During the debrief this morning, I suggested that she should have offered the dog's considerable bladder for the golden showers. Knowing that particular dog, I think he (the dog) would have taken as much pleasure in peeing on someone, as the guy would have being peed on. She confessed that she was very concerned that he got turned on when they took the dog for a walk.

Incidently, my sister just sent me her Friday horoscope with the attached note:

• Venus is trying to settle into Gemini and allow communication to take on the aura of love, but the disharmony with Uranus this morning leads to disruptions. Shocking discoveries redefine the difference between love and desire.
  
  
  This was my horoscope for Friday. The day my bad dating history became legendary

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
So one of my friends brother's appears to be have a Crystal Meth lab in his shed in the backyard. They have not seen the inside of it, but there's enough evidence to support the conclusion by any idiot with half a brain. What's the appropriate way to react, if at all, once you find out your brother is manufacting drugs at his house? What's the appropriate way to respond if you're the parents of the child who is making crystal meth in the back yard and you are renting him the house in which he's making it? I know what they've done, but I'm curious how the average person (so why am i asking you all?) would carry on once they found out this info.

Bunny

Agree with Bilmore: an ass-whipping is in order.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
Congrats Phil. There couldn't be a better way to win your first major and get that BPNTWAM monkey off your back. At Augusta, against a hyper-worthy challenger who's playing unreal golf, and to catch him and pass him with 5 birdies in the last seven holes.

Both Phil and Ernie made unreal shots from big trouble -- Phil on 10, Ernie on 14. Other than that, neither made a serious mistake, and both just played incredible golf. Ernie's irons were a bit off, but his short game let him recover beautifully. Meanwhile, Phil didn't come close to missing a green on the back. And when Phil poured in that putt on 12, I had a feeling it was on (in the South Park sense). I mean 12 at Augusta on Sunday - is there a bigger birdie in all of golf? To say nothing of 14 and 18, both of which are almost impossible birdie holes. Of course, when he hit his tee shot and then birdied 16, my wife, who is not a big golf fan, was unimpressed after seeing two aces on that hole in the previous half hour.

Probably the best Masters I've ever watched. Way to go Phil. So now who's the new BPNTWAM? It's been Phil for so long I don't know who the other candidates are? I think it's either Monty, Sergio, Darren Clarke or Kenny Perry.

Great tournament. The only way he could have made it more memorable was if Tiger was Ernie. That would have been very impressive.

Unbelievable balls to go at the pin on 12. Who does that? He balanced his need to go for it all the time with a smarter approach to the course. He was prepared for the tournament, played smart, conservative golf and went for it when he had to. Not when he felt the urge to. Very impressive.

Montgomerie now wears the "best without a major" crown. And he should just go ahead and buy and not rent it.

TM

[notcasesensitive]

Okay, in honor of RT's sister, what is the creepiest/squickiest thing anyone has ever done on a first date with you?

I'll start. I met a guy at a party one Halloween and talked to him about various topics, including Delta of Venus and similar books (not sure why, but I'm sure alcohol was involved). He asked me out and we went out for lunch one weekday a week or so later. He came to pick me up and gave me as a first date (lunch date!) gift a copy of The Story of O. There was no second date. He did not know the name of any of my pets at that point. But it wouldn't have mattered if he did. Weird.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by purse junkie
No one beats dogs for instant character assessment.

True. We beat dogs for reasons entirely unrelated to character assessment.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Okay, in honor of RT's sister, what is the creepiest/squickiest thing anyone has ever done on a first date with you?

I went on a first date with this girl who refused to go down on me. It was awful.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
Is str8 gonna have to choke a bitch? Is str8 gonna have to get out of this car and choke a bitch?

Give Wayne Brady your sandwich. GIVE WAYNE BRADY YO' SANDWICH.

TM

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I went on a first date with this girl who refused to go down on me. It was awful.

Wow, that's pretty horrible. Really.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Okay, in honor of RT's sister, what is the creepiest/squickiest thing anyone has ever done on a first date with you?

I went on a first date with a guy who sent me an email the next day thanking me for the date. Whic would have been okay. But the email included the following line. "I just cannot stop thinking about your beautiful breasts."

It was a little too Silence of the Lambs for me. I actively screened his calls for weeks.

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Okay, in honor of RT's sister, what is the creepiest/squickiest thing anyone has ever done on a first date with you?

I'll start. I met a guy at a party one Halloween and talked to him about various topics, including Delta of Venus and similar books (not sure why, but I'm sure alcohol was involved). He asked me out and we went out for lunch one weekday a week or so later. He came to pick me up and gave me as a first date (lunch date!) gift a copy of The Story of O. There was no second date. He did not know the name of any of my pets at that point. But it wouldn't have mattered if he did. Weird.

One time I was out with this guy and I was complaining that two cats were two many. (I know, not great first date convo on my part but hey, once a spinster, always a spinster). He replied that I could always stick them in a bag and beat them with a baseball bat and throw them in a river.

[barely_legal]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
One time I was out with this guy and I was complaining that two cats were two many. (I know, not great first date convo on my part but hey, once a spinster, always a spinster). He replied that I could always stick them in a bag and beat them with a baseball bat and throw them in a river.

You know, I love cats, and I even love your cats, but for some reason when I read that I just started laughing hysterically. I don't know why. I'm still laughing, I can't stop.

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Okay, in honor of RT's sister, what is the creepiest/squickiest thing anyone has ever done on a first date with you?

Early in my freshman year in college, I was having a conversation after class with a couple of people when my roommate walked up and asked me if I was interested in going to see a movie that night with him and his girlfriend. I said sure and then out of politeness, asked the other two people I had been speaking to if either wanted to come along. The guy demured, but the girl said yes. I didn't really think much of it at the time. I wasn't looking for a date, as I was seeing someone steadily*at the time who just had other plans for the evening.

So we go to the movie, the four of us, after a very non-romantic dinner at the Pizza Hut. After getting back to the dorm, my roommate and his girlfriend disappear, and I'm left in the commons area with this chick, just having (what appears to me at least to be) a pleasant conversation about the movie, a thought provoking Wim Wenders film. Suddenly she says to me that since she's fairly orthodox jewish, I'm going to have to be ritually circumcised before we can really start dating. She elaborated that it really wasn't a big deal, just a little scraping on the top if I were already medically circumcised. Yeah, that was going to happen.


*I recognize now tht going into a freshman year of college in a committed relationship that's real (i.e., both in the same town) is a dumb, dumb thing. I was 18. I figured it out by the end of the semester.

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
I went on a first date with a guy who sent me an email the next day thanking me for the date. Whic would have been okay. But the email included the following line. "I just cannot stop thinking about your beautiful breasts."

It was a little too Silence of the Lambs for me. I actively screened his calls for weeks.

I forgot the creepeist. The guy who I went out with on a first date, it was going really well, he was really cute if not totally nervous and stammery, and I invited him back to watch a reality show my friend was on bc I had to get home to see it but didnt want him to think I was blowing him off (pre Tivo). Yes, I know, another bad thing to do on a first date, but apparently not. We sat on my couch and I leaned into him and asked him if he wanted to kiss me. He did, and after a few minutes of schmecking, he sad "You are so beautiful, I love you".

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
I went on a first date with a guy who sent me an email the next day thanking me for the date. Whic would have been okay. But the email included the following line. "I just cannot stop thinking about your beautiful breasts."

It was a little too Silence of the Lambs for me. I actively screened his calls for weeks.

I went out to lunch with different guy who called a left a message on my home answering machine before I got home from lunch with him, telling me what a great time he had. he then called me 2 or 3 more times that afternoon trying to set up a follow-up date. I did not return any calls. The next time I ran into him, I was at Starbucks with a male friend, who pretended to be my bf for the requisite amount of time to get this guy to go away.

It was all very Jon Favreau of Swingers. Not in a good way.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Which would have been okay. But the email included the following line. "I just cannot stop thinking about your beautiful breasts."

Let us renew the call for TMBD 2.1.

(Hell, we'll call it TMBD 3.0, if you want.)