Making a buck cleaning Lester's spittle trays on Sequels' 22-year old supermodel abs

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
So you're gonna go without sex for nine months if she gets knocked up? Wow.

Surely there's a local most slutiest he could turn to.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I'm fucking glad I wasn't here yesterday. Preggo fetishes might be the foulest of the foul.

Here is wisdom:

1. When he tells you you look more beautiful than ever when knocked up, he's lying. You know that, right?

2. Unless your husband is truly twisted, he's not "more" into you when you're knocked up. It ain't an attractive state, huge tits or no huge tits.

3. Lactation is cool, but I'm not sure its a sexual turn-on. I think its more cool in a "wow, how bout that? She's dispensing something drinkable... neat..." way. Am I going to taste it? Yeh, but like wine. I'll probably have to spit. I saw a cat swig from a bottle of it in law school, and he almost threw it up. Said it was chunky. I enjoy the soy shake and the fruit shake with the occasional cunk or two of sugary fruit matter in it, but I don't think I'd prefer my breast milk that way.

But who knows... I said the same thing about chunky Jif a few years back.

My crush is SO over. :sobbing:

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Chunky JIF is the shit. Do not fuck with it.

Creamy peanut butter is for pussies.

WTF is wrong with you? JIF is for pussies. Skippy SuperChunk, skippy.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
WTF is wrong with you? JIF is for pussies. Skippy SuperChunk, skippy.

NO FUCKING WAY.

I still like your TITS, though, regardless of what Sebby thinks.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I'm fucking glad I wasn't here yesterday. Preggo fetishes might be the foulest of the foul.

Here is wisdom:

1. When he tells you you look more beautiful than ever when knocked up, he's lying. You know that, right?

2. Unless your husband is truly twisted, he's not "more" into you when you're knocked up. It ain't an attractive state, huge tits or no huge tits.

3. Lactation is cool, but I'm not sure its a sexual turn-on. I think its more cool in a "wow, how bout that? She's dispensing something drinkable... neat..." way. Am I going to taste it? Yeh, but like wine. I'll probably have to spit. I saw a cat swig from a bottle of it in law school, and he almost threw it up. Said it was chunky. I enjoy the soy shake and the fruit shake with the occasional cunk or two of sugary fruit matter in it, but I don't think I'd prefer my breast milk that way.

But who knows... I said the same thing about chunky Jif a few years back.

I would have thought my subsequent posts made it obvious that I was joking about the preggo fetish, but apparently reading comprehension on the FB is at an all-time low. Therefore, in the interests of full disclosure:

1. I do not have a preggo fetish.

2. I don't have any fetishes whatsoever.

3. I find breasts, legs, asses, necks, eyes, faces, hair, lips, smiles, and a flair for dressing well to be things about a woman that can make her sexually appealling, in no particular order and with none of the above being a must-have or a deal-breaker.

4. I have tried many, many things sexually, some of which I talk openly about, some of which are none of your fucking business.

5. I have never licked an eyeball.

6. I'm pretty sure that if I ever have sex like burning, I'll go see a doctor about it.

7. Paigow talks a good game, but she's really kind of repressed.

8. Same goes for Sebby.

9. For God's sake, MR, we have been referring to Coltrane's girlfriend as Sequels for almost as long as he's been posting.

10. I don't go commando, ever, because I don't want to get bit by the zipper. At least not ever again.

11. If I'm flirting with you, I'm probably just joking, but you can never be sure.

12. Fringey, you can be sure.

13. Thurgreed, so can you.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
WTF is wrong with you? JIF is for pussies. Skippy SuperChunk, skippy.

I working
But I'm not working for you
Slack Motherfucker

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by taxwonk
I would have thought my subsequent posts made it obvious that I was joking about the preggo fetish, but apparently reading comprehension on the FB is at an all-time low. Therefore, in the interests of full disclosure:

1. I do not have a preggo fetish.

2. I don't have any fetishes whatsoever.

3. I find breasts, legs, asses, necks, eyes, faces, hair, lips, smiles, and a flair for dressing well to be things about a woman that can make her sexually appealling, in no particular order and with none of the above being a must-have or a deal-breaker.

4. I have tried many, many things sexually, some of which I talk openly about, some of which are none of your fucking business.

5. I have never licked an eyeball.

6. I'm pretty sure that if I ever have sex like burning, I'll go see a doctor about it.

7. Paigow talks a good game, but she's really kind of repressed.

8. Same goes for Sebby.

9. For God's sake, MR, we have been referring to Coltrane's girlfriend as Sequels for almost as long as he's been posting.

10. I don't go commando, ever, because I don't want to get bit by the zipper. At least not ever again.

11. If I'm flirting with you, I'm probably just joking, but you can never be sure.

12. Fringey, you can be sure.

13. Thurgreed, so can you.

Got it, Snowball.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by Gattigap
Looks like Arrested Development is back. For two seasons, even.

FROM THE ARTICLE
"At press time, I can tell you this is precisely where the show's fate stands. So, barring any last-minute switch-a-roonies or bad acts by Satan or Rupert Murdoch. . . "

Huh. I had no idea they were different entities.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Creamy peanut butter is for pussies.

Me-ow.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
So you're gonna go without sex for nine months if she gets knocked up? Wow.

I was going to suggest blow jobs with his eyes closed, but then I remembered he doesn't like oral.

I guess he'll be out-sourcing that function if they* get pregnant. But I think that they aren't planning on doing that, ever.

*used this term deliberately to be annoying.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by taxwonk
I would have thought my subsequent posts made it obvious that I was joking about the preggo fetish, but apparently reading comprehension on the FB is at an all-time low. Therefore, in the interests of full disclosure:

1. I do not have a preggo fetish.

2. I don't have any fetishes whatsoever.

3. I find breasts, legs, asses, necks, eyes, faces, hair, lips, smiles, and a flair for dressing well to be things about a woman that can make her sexually appealling, in no particular order and with none of the above being a must-have or a deal-breaker.

4. I have tried many, many things sexually, some of which I talk openly about, some of which are none of your fucking business.

5. I have never licked an eyeball.

6. I'm pretty sure that if I ever have sex like burning, I'll go see a doctor about it.

7. Paigow talks a good game, but she's really kind of repressed.

8. Same goes for Sebby.

9. For God's sake, MR, we have been referring to Coltrane's girlfriend as Sequels for almost as long as he's been posting.

10. I don't go commando, ever, because I don't want to get bit by the zipper. At least not ever again.

11. If I'm flirting with you, I'm probably just joking, but you can never be sure.

12. Fringey, you can be sure.

13. Thurgreed, so can you.

Yay! A survey.

1. Preggo fetish here, I admit it.

2. Exactly. No fetishes at all, other than all of them. Well, maybe not the lactation thing.

3. Are avacados vegetables?

4. Avacados are NOT vegetables.

5. I have never licked an eyeball, and never will.

6 - 9 . No shit.

10. Be careful, man. You can celebrate Commando Friday even on the 13th.

11. - 13. Can we just add these to the terms of service here?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
My crush is SO over. :sobbing:

Is this what my wife means when she says "I didn't ask for an HONEST ANSWER, I wanted you to say (insert white lie which would make her feel better)?"

I'm realizing more and more that I live in a far too literal world. If I ask my wife if my new haircut looks good, I expect her to honestly reply. Where else will I get solid criticism, except here maybe...

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I'm realizing more and more that I live in a far too literal world.

Nope. That ain't it.

TM

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I enjoy the soy shake.

http://planetpreterist.com/modules.p...print&sid=2415

• We're convinced that if we have children, we're going to do everything in our power to make them gay. Like maybe drinking a lot of extra soy milk while she's pregnant

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Fundamental misunderstanding of the joys of preggo sex.

It's all about the hormones. If the woman's hormones react well, she becomes twice the tiger she used to be. Preggo sex fixations in men are reactions to hormonal surges in women, not a desire to chase a big belly.

But, different women react differently when pregnant. Obviously, Wonk's wife reacts positively to those hormones.

It's not necessarily about the visuals, though that glow can be a definite turn-on, too.

Or it can be, possibly maybe not in your case, that the guy is so turned on by the thought of his virility that he wants to fuck the preggo. Per a former coworker whose husband wanted to fuck her all the time when she was pregnant, and she hated it, plus an interpretation of the jackass husband's overall personality.