Making a buck cleaning Lester's spittle trays on Sequels' 22-year old supermodel abs - Page 64

greatwhitenorthchick · 05-13-2005, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
So yesterday I got an issue of Parents Magazine in the mail. I'm not sure where it came from - it's not really my speed, although I guess at some point I should probably to do some reading about this whole parenting thing beyond researching the best 529 plans.

Anyway, Seb, there was an essay in there just ripe for your upchucked profundities -- by a woman who nursed her children until they were past 5 years old. The woman has three kids, the oldest a teen, and has basically been continually nursing for 15 years. She attributes the closeness of her family to her nursing her kids that long. I think she's a lactation addict.

My drama teacher did that. Sicko.

05-13-2005, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I'm fucking glad I wasn't here yesterday. Preggo fetishes might be the foulest of the foul.

Here is wisdom:

1. When he tells you you look more beautiful than ever when knocked up, he's lying. You know that, right?

2. Unless your husband is truly twisted, he's not "more" into you when you're knocked up. It ain't an attractive state, huge tits or no huge tits.

3. Lactation is cool, but I'm not sure its a sexual turn-on. I think its more cool in a "wow, how bout that? She's dispensing something drinkable... neat..." way. Am I going to taste it? Yeh, but like wine. I'll probably have to spit. I saw a cat swig from a bottle of it in law school, and he almost threw it up. Said it was chunky. I enjoy the soy shake and the fruit shake with the occasional cunk or two of sugary fruit matter in it, but I don't think I'd prefer my breast milk that way.

But who knows... I said the same thing about chunky Jif a few years back.

Cat drinking chunky breast milk. Moist cat food, moist cat food.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy · 05-13-2005, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
So yesterday I got an issue of Parents Magazine in the mail. I'm not sure where it came from.

I'm convinced the hospitals or doctors were giving the parenting magazines our information. Has to be a HIPAA violation.

Anne Elk · 05-13-2005, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
I hope Guy A got it out of his system. Otherwise, he's in for a long hard ride. I say he needs booze and sex, now and in large quantities.

RT where is Guy A again? I might be able to arrange a few days off.

robustpuppy · 05-13-2005, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
put some of this pomade shit in it so its stays messed and then leave

That pomade shit is propertly called "product."

Sheesh. Straight guys.

robustpuppy · 05-13-2005, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
I'm convinced the hospitals or doctors were giving the parenting magazines our information. Has to be a HIPAA violation.

However it came about that every moving company under the sun has my address and telephone number, I think it violates Gramm Leach Bliley. Fuckers.

Shape Shifter · 05-13-2005, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
2. Both of them act very straight.

Ha. Right. What color of shoes do you wear with pink pants?

05-13-2005, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
My crush is SO over. :sobbing:

YOU had a crush on Sebby?!?!? I thought I was the only female in the cyberworld who could truly feel him. I think of you as a more Off the Bus type who would appreciate a nice, easily understood Gatti or a good old fashioned pedantist like Atticus?

Or is other words,

Off my corner, ho.

Mister_Ruysbroeck · 05-13-2005, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by taxwonk
I would have thought my subsequent posts made it obvious that I was joking about the preggo fetish, but apparently reading comprehension on the FB is at an all-time low. Therefore, in the interests of full disclosure:

1. I do not have a preggo fetish.

2. I don't have any fetishes whatsoever.

3. I find breasts, legs, asses, necks, eyes, faces, hair, lips, smiles, and a flair for dressing well to be things about a woman that can make her sexually appealling, in no particular order and with none of the above being a must-have or a deal-breaker.

4. I have tried many, many things sexually, some of which I talk openly about, some of which are none of your fucking business.

5. I have never licked an eyeball.

6. I'm pretty sure that if I ever have sex like burning, I'll go see a doctor about it.

7. Paigow talks a good game, but she's really kind of repressed.

8. Same goes for Sebby.

9. For God's sake, MR, we have been referring to Coltrane's girlfriend as Sequels for almost as long as he's been posting.

10. I don't go commando, ever, because I don't want to get bit by the zipper. At least not ever again.

11. If I'm flirting with you, I'm probably just joking, but you can never be sure.

12. Fringey, you can be sure.

13. Thurgreed, so can you.

That was your BPE.

/golfclap

05-13-2005, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I'm easing her into swinging.

If that fails, I'm thinking I may take up masturbating in my truck to Villanova students in "Juicy" sweatsuits at the train station.

Ah,so the Juicy sweatsuits have made their way to Philly? That must be a good look on your people.

Replaced_Texan · 05-13-2005, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Anne Elk
Sounds like a Jerry Springer episode.

Is Girl A loving the attention?

Dunno, though I doubt it. She and I are taking off on Sunday to get the hell out of dodge.

I'm feeling the most sorry for Girl B, who I didn't know until last night is dating Guy A. I'd be a little irritated if my new boyfriend was trying to pulverize his ex-'s new boyfriend right in front of me.

I was standing on the other side of the bar explaining the situation to a bewildered friend as the fur was flying, so I don't know what was said.

Anne Elk · 05-13-2005, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
And I had you figured for the peanut butter you make fresh without sugar at the coop.

Only if it's chunky.

Replaced_Texan · 05-13-2005, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
I'm convinced the hospitals or doctors were giving the parenting magazines our information. Has to be a HIPAA violation.

It is. I'd complain to the privacy officer.

Shape Shifter · 05-13-2005, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Dunno, though I doubt it. She and I are taking off on Sunday to get the hell out of dodge.

I'm feeling the most sorry for Girl B, who I didn't know until last night is dating Guy A. I'd be a little irritated if my new boyfriend was trying to pulverize his ex-'s new boyfriend right in front of me.

I was standing on the other side of the bar explaining the situation to a bewildered friend as the fur was flying, so I don't know what was said.

Guy A is dating someone new and he's still pissed? Sorry, RT, but he kinda sounds like an asshole.

notcasesensitive · 05-13-2005, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Dunno, though I doubt it. She and I are taking off on Sunday to get the hell out of dodge.

I'm feeling the most sorry for Girl B, who I didn't know until last night is dating Guy A. I'd be a little irritated if my new boyfriend was trying to pulverize his ex-'s new boyfriend right in front of me.

I was standing on the other side of the bar explaining the situation to a bewildered friend as the fur was flying, so I don't know what was said.

Is Girl B from you network of friends? Just trying to see if hypocritical can be added to Guy A's resume.

I agree. It would suck to be Girl B.