The Spanky Show

Boy the way old Porkchop played;
The backyard was cat urine-sprayed;
But Squiggles thought he had it made -
those were the days.

And you knew what Deer ate then;
The kids all played in Spanky's den;
Spinsters we could use a mountain man like Spanky again.

Didn't need no Fashion Board;
Paigow went and cut the cord;
Nobody's cute pets got gored -
Those were the daaaaaaaaayyyyyyyys.

Originally posted by ironweed
Boy the way old Porkchop played;
The backyard was cat urine-sprayed;
But Squiggles thought he had it made -
those were the days.

And you knew what Deer ate then;
The kids all played in Spanky's den;
Spinsters we could use a mountain man like Spanky again.

Didn't need no Fashion Board;
Paigow went and cut the cord;
Nobody's cute pets got gored -
Those were the daaaaaaaaayyyyyyyys.

This is one verse short of being a seriuos contender. Whats with the tv themes?

Originally posted by paigowprincess
This is one verse short of being a seriuos contender. Whats with the tv themes?

Are you nuts? I can't think of a tune that more poignantly captures your longing for an idealized life with a constant (if somewhat literal-minded and ultra-conservative) companion, close by your side as you drift into middle age. Edith, you have met your Archie.

And the version of the song played over the opening credits only has three verses, for your information. Short, sweet, evocative -- you wouldn't know genius if it wandered into your backyard and ate all the Apricots. I am disgusted and may never compose again.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by ironweed
Are you nuts? I can't think of a tune that more poignantly captures your longing for an idealized life with a constant (if somewhat literal-minded and ultra-conservative) companion, close by your side as you drift into middle age. Edith, you have met your Archie.

And the version of the song played over the opening credits only has three verses, for your information. Short, sweet, evocative -- you wouldn't know genius if it wandered into your backyard and ate all the Apricots. I am disgusted and may never compose again.

I thought yours was the best. By which I mean I read the whole thing.

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I thought yours was the best. By which I mean I read the whole thing.

Do I know my audience or do I know my audience?

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by ironweed
Are you nuts? I can't think of a tune that more poignantly captures your longing for an idealized life with a constant (if somewhat literal-minded and ultra-conservative) companion, close by your side as you drift into middle age. Edith, you have met your Archie.

And the version of the song played over the opening credits only has three verses, for your information. Short, sweet, evocative -- you wouldn't know genius if it wandered into your backyard and ate all the Apricots. I am disgusted and may never compose again.

This is your best material. Abandon plumbing the depths of spin-class-inspired, crippling narcissism and linger here a while.

Originally posted by Gattigap
This is your best material. Abandon plumbing the depths of spin-class-inspired, crippling narcissism and linger here a while.

You're right -- Flower has been holding me back for years. It's high time I brushed him off my coattails and focused on going out and getting mine.

[Not Bob]

(yeah different song, sue me)

The screen door slams,
Paigow's dress waves
Like a vision she dances across Porkchop
as the radio plays
The Politics Board gets so lonely
Hey, Paigs, it's Spank, and I want you, only
don't turn Less on again, he just can't help himself, alone.

Don't run back outside, darlin,
you know the Buck's still there
and he scares me, and baby, you're thinking
that maybe I ain't that young anymore
Show a little faith (the skunks come out at night!)
I ain't a playa, but, hey, I'm all right
Yeah, and the cats all sleep with me

You can stay here for poker
And study my cards
Watch out for the neighbors
The kids in my yards
Waste your summer praying in vain
For an SO to rise from these sheets

Well, now, I'm no spinster
That's understood
All the redemption I can offer, girl
Is within this neighborhood
With a chance to make it good somehow

Hey what else can we do now?
Except roll down the window
And let the wind blow back your hair
Well, the night's getting hotter
and I don't like to use my central air

We got one last chance to make it real
to make less and slave say "what's the deal?"
Climb on top
Heaven's waiting on the reverse cowboy

Oh, oh, come take my hand
Paigow's coming tonight, it's the promised land
Oh oh Spankyland, oh Spankyland
oh Spankyland

Originally posted by ironweed
Are you nuts? I can't think of a tune that more poignantly captures your longing for an idealized life with a constant (if somewhat literal-minded and ultra-conservative) companion, close by your side as you drift into middle age. Edith, you have met your Archie.

And the version of the song played over the opening credits only has three verses, for your information. Short, sweet, evocative -- you wouldn't know genius if it wandered into your backyard and ate all the Apricots. I am disgusted and may never compose again.

Aw shucks, baby. You know I love you and you are my first choice. That said, Spanky is Richer and I wouldnt hve to drink beer in Queens with him.

Now where the fuck is He? No poster with so relatively few posts has had more songs wriitten about him. You would think a lilttle appearance might be warranted. Who does he think he is, anyway? Whitney Houston?

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Whats with the tv themes?

Concur. I believe my entry has been sapped of some kudos it well-deserves because people on the Spanky Highlights Board are unfamiliar with Blondie and are more comfortable with that novelty-act pablum like Weed's shite. I would give props to the Pavement entry, but I don't think we should go down that road either --- what's next, a Son Volt parody? Hipster, please. Song parody material should be drawn exclusively from songs you can honestly claim to have heard on the radio. And no college radio, neither!

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Concur. I believe my entry has been sapped of some kudos it well-deserves because people on the Spanky Highlights Board are unfamiliar with Blondie and are more comfortable with that novelty-act pablum like Weed's shite. I would give props to the Pavement entry, but I don't think we should go down that road either --- what's next, a Son Volt parody? Hipster, please. Song parody material should be drawn exclusively from songs you can honestly claim to have heard on the radio. And no college radio, neither!

2. I never quite finished a GA parody of "Return of the Grievous Angel" because I figured something like 3 people would get it. There's good reason PLF stays clear of the song parodies.

Ollie (and I remember something Plate once told me...) Ramone

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
novelty-act pablum like Weed's shite.

I'm not a complicated man. I like posting. In particular, I like to see posts about fucking and Apples. I don't want to win this song parody contest and I don't want to re-invent the wheel. I enjoy simple pleasures like butter in my ass and lollipops in my mouth. That's me -- call me crazy, call me a pervert, but this is something I enjoy. One other small thing I want to do in this life is make a dollar and a cent in this business. I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm trying to help you stay one step ahead of the game.

Originally posted by Not Bob
(yeah different song, sue me)

The screen door slams,
Paigow's dress waves
Like a vision she dances across Porkchop
as the radio plays
The Politics Board gets so lonely
Hey, Paigs, it's Spank, and I want you, only
don't turn Less on again, he just can't help himself, alone.

Don't run back outside, darlin,
you know the Buck's still there
and he scares me, and baby, you're thinking
that maybe I ain't that young anymore
Show a little faith (the skunks come out at night!)
I ain't a playa, but, hey, I'm all right
Yeah, and the cats all sleep with me

You can stay here for poker
And study my cards
Watch out for the neighbors
The kids in my yards
Waste your summer praying in vain
For an SO to rise from these sheets

Well, now, I'm no spinster
That's understood
All the redemption I can offer, girl
Is within this neighborhood
With a chance to make it good somehow

Hey what else can we do now?
Except roll down the window
And let the wind blow back your hair
Well, the night's getting hotter
and I don't like to use my central air

We got one last chance to make it real
to make less and slave say "what's the deal?"
Climb on top
Heaven's waiting on the reverse cowboy

Oh, oh, come take my hand
Paigow's coming tonight, it's the promised land
Oh oh Spankyland, oh Spankyland
oh Spankyland

Thats pretty good, old Not bobbe. I thoght it waas Skate Away but it isnt right? Dire Straits would have really sent it home. O doubt Spanky wlll get the Reverse Cowgirl Bit.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Concur. I believe my entry has been sapped of some kudos it well-deserves because people on the Spanky Highlights Board are unfamiliar with Blondie and are more comfortable with that novelty-act pablum like Weed's shite. I would give props to the Pavement entry, but I don't think we should go down that road either --- what's next, a Son Volt parody? Hipster, please. Song parody material should be drawn exclusively from songs you can honestly claim to have heard on the radio. And no college radio, neither!

Look old man, next thing you'll be telling me to do is to turn it down and get off your lawn. Some of us didn't reach our formative years in the 1970's, you know.

Til the first ever SpanKy K. This is really a special occasion. I propse that the winner gets to have SpanKy himself, wherever he may be, by em a round at Bing's. Get to hear stories first hand about what really goes on down there.

If SpanKy wins, someone taKes him to Bingg's KocKtail lounge. The person of his choice. It will probably be ______