It's all about me - Page 69

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 07-20-2004, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Coltrane, if you manage to tweak your birth certificate, get your ass to Cleveland or Anchorage and sing Love of a Lifetime on national TV, I will make an exception and give you the best head you've ever gotten from a Canadian.

(take that, Dan Ackroyd)

How are you making an exception?

Why am I questioning this?

greatwhitenorthchick · 07-20-2004, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
How are you making an exception?

good point.

Replaced_Texan · 07-20-2004, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
How are you making an exception?

Why am I questioning this?

Maybe there's a Canadian rule against out doing Dan Ackroyd.

ThurgreedMarshall · 07-20-2004, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Wow. "Ripped out their spirits"? Maybe Kurt Vonnegut was right about living in California once, but leaving before it makes you soft.

Typo. Ripped = Whipped.

TM

Alex_de_Large · 07-20-2004, 05:27 PM

I got this from a colleague to whom I sent the link to the SportsGuy's Vengance Scale earlier today. I have no idea of it's true or not, but it sure makes for a great story...

"This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank
the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was a manila envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "Fuck you!".
Then he turned to his bride and said, "Fuck you!". Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm outta here." He had the marriage annulled first thing the next morning. While most people would have cancelled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the
charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge...making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has balls the size of church bells."

Replaced_Texan · 07-20-2004, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
I got this from a colleague to whom I sent the link to the SportsGuy's Vengance Scale earlier today. I have no idea of it's true or not, but it sure makes for a great story...

"This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank
the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was a manila envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "Fuck you!".
Then he turned to his bride and said, "Fuck you!". Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm outta here." He had the marriage annulled first thing the next morning. While most people would have cancelled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the
charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge...making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has balls the size of church bells."

It's a really good one, but Snopes doesn't like it.

Alex_de_Large · 07-20-2004, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
It's a really good one, but Snopes doesn't like it.

I figured it was bullshit, but it's still pretty creative.

ltl/fb · 07-20-2004, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Sometimes, despite myself, I want to kiss you.

Are you an R? If so, I do not want to caress your breasts. Or your ass.

I do need to disclose, and probably should on PB as well, that I have fucked someone I'm pretty sure was an R. We even did it again a few times in the morning, when I was undrunk enough to remember that part of it. Apparently we also did it in the bathtub, but I don't recall that part. He had large feet.

ABBAKiss · 07-20-2004, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
I figured it was bullshit, but it's still pretty creative.

A friend of mine ACTUALLY did the following:

I don't remember the specifics of why my friend was so pissed off at his ex but he photocopied naked photos he had taken of her while they were dating and sent them to everyone they knew -- including her parents -- along with a play by play of how psycho she was during their relationship. This was years ago and I didn't believe it until I saw a copy of the letter.

greatwhitenorthchick · 07-20-2004, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
A friend of mine ACTUALLY did the following:

I don't remember the specifics of why my friend was so pissed off at his ex but he photocopied naked photos he had taken of her while they were dating and sent them to everyone they knew -- including her parents -- along with a play by play of how psycho she was during their relationship. This was years ago and I didn't believe it until I saw a copy of the letter.

hot or not?

ABBAKiss · 07-20-2004, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
hot or not?

They were both pretty hot, I guess. Do you mean the pictures? That would depend on whether they were of your cute neighbor or your neice.

robustpuppy · 07-20-2004, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Are you an R? If so, I do not want to caress your breasts. Or your ass.

I have an acquaintance who cannot say the word "rat," so she says "R." She is from Massachussetts, and is obviously a bit of a wimp. I do not want to caress her breasts or her ass, but for reasons that have nothing to do with her politics or wimpiness.

Brazen, honey, just for the record, for you I would put politics aside.

ltl/fb · 07-20-2004, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I have an acquaintance who cannot say the word "rat," so she says "R." She is from Massachussetts, and is obviously a bit of a wimp. I do not want to caress her breasts or her ass, but for reasons that have nothing to do with her politics or wimpiness.

Brazen, honey, just for the record, for you I would put politics aside.

You are not an R, are you, pup?

In other news, the obscenity charge against the woman who sold the vibrator in TX has been dropped, apparently.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/07/20/to...eut/index.html

ltl/fb · 07-20-2004, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I have an acquaintance who cannot say the word "rat," so she says "R." She is from Massachussetts, and is obviously a bit of a wimp. I do not want to caress her breasts or her ass, but for reasons that have nothing to do with her politics or wimpiness.

Brazen, honey, just for the record, for you I would put politics aside.

I assume "rat" is your personal euphemism for "Republican."

bold_n_brazen · 07-20-2004, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Are you an R? If so, I do not want to caress your breasts. Or your ass.

I am so much more than merely a Republican. I am sorry you feel this way about my breasts and my ass. Will you still share some fluffernutter with me?