Removing the feeding tube from our aging hipster plaid pants

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
Only if it's chocolate covered pencillin.

I think they've moved on to aging rocker and guitar humor. Just step back slowly and pretend to laugh.

[Not Bob]

Becasue I know that you all care ...

(1) SkyMall catalogs are strangely addicting. I discovered yesterday that I ordered a set of the executive summaries of the year's best business books for Fenwick (the kid loved "Who Moved The Cheese," "Get Your Ship Together!" and "Fish!" so I figured what the hey). I also bought a ionic jewelry cleaner from Hammacher Schlemmer for Mrs. Not Bob and a lifesize cut-out of Derek Jeter from On The Diamond for my niece. I need help before I buy a personalized bag from Lillian Vernon.

(2) God bless Heather at the airport bar in the Pan Am terminal in Dubuque International. If I had to listen while sober to the guy next to me trying to sell toner cartridges to someone named Wang on his cell phone, I may have killed someone. And Wang, Jimmy was lying to you about his margins. His boss was the next call, and I heard "20%" several times. I hope you blew him off when he followed up this morning.

(3) Fat guys in polyester sometimes succeed with stewardesses. (Hey, that's what he called her. She seemed to like it.)

(4) If you tip Heather in advance, and you are sitting next to Jimmy, she will pour you a double just so she doesn't have to come back into listening range.

(5) I have got to look up the company that has internet kiosks in the airports I visited on my tour -- $15 an hour for access, and the drones were lining up. Free Wi-Fi has not hit the heartland just yet.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Don't call them Bob unless you know that's their name -- it usually isn't.

Indeed.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Becasue I know that you all care ...

(1) SkyMall catalogs are strangely addicting. I discovered yesterday that I ordered a set of the executive summaries of the year's best business books for Fenwick (the kid loved "Who Moved The Cheese," "Get Your Ship Together!" and "Fish!" so I figured what the hey). I also bought a ionic jewelry cleaner from Hammacher Schlemmer for Mrs. Not Bob and a lifesize cut-out of Derek Jeter from On The Diamond for my niece. I need help before I buy a personalized bag from Lillian Vernon.

(2) God bless Heather at the airport bar in the Pan Am terminal in Dubuque International. If I had to listen while sober to the guy next to me trying to sell toner cartridges to someone named Wang on his cell phone, I may have killed someone. And Wang, Jimmy was lying to you about his margins. His boss was the next call, and I heard "20%" several times. I hope you blew him off when he followed up this morning.

(3) Fat guys in polyester sometimes succeed with stewardesses. (Hey, that's what he called her. She seemed to like it.)

(4) If you tip Heather in advance, and you are sitting next to Jimmy, she will pour you a double just so she doesn't have to come back into listening range.

(5) I have got to look up the company that has internet kiosks in the airports I visited on my tour -- $15 an hour for access, and the drones were lining up. Free Wi-Fi has not hit the heartland just yet.

I do like the podunk stuff, but I've always felt the name "fenwick" is too tinny. You should have him leave the firm in a bitter break up and then hire in O'Halloran or Johnston, or something else less abrasive.

[Diane_Keaton]

Originally posted by Sparklehorse
Someone on the Boston Craig's List recently asked what women would think if a new-to-her guy pulled out a not-new vibrator. I can't imagine how this could be done without seeming skeevy.

This reminds me of some comedian who had a schtick where he talked about gearing up in bed to get down with a new woman and she whips out a tube of KY and it's like half used, she's squeezing it to get stuff out like a nearly empty toothpaste container. And he's turned off big time. I agree with him. Buy new shit already. What guy would want to see you whip out a used container of KY? Cheapo fucking women I say! And if you've got cheap candles on your bedside table and light one up before ravishing me, the candle better be new. I'm not the jealous type. I just don't like it when people won't repurchase stuff that's cheap. Lazy fucks.

[mmm3587]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Speaking of, I saw a really cool wireless setup the other day and I can't remember who was having trouble running wires in the walls.

That's me. I've since discovered TechLiving, an entire magazine more or less devoted to whole-house audio/video and automation. There are a lot more solutions coming to market soon, so I decided to wait about six months and reevaluate. From my research, it seems like it doesn't make sense to do any hard-wiring now that wireless solutions are getting so cheap and so much better, compared to a year ago.

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Marry me.

Babysit me!

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Nothing is better than french fries and milkshakes.

eta Cadbury eggs are a good call, Coltrane.

[jingle] Cadbury . . . Easter-cream eggs! [/jingle]

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
Babysit me!

Maeby has surpassed GOB as the best all-around character. As for minor parts, I miss Steve Holt. STEVE HOLT! That dude was Coltrane 1992. Old skool indeed. Second best recurring minor part is a tie between White Power Bill and Little Justice. George Sr. not being in prison is about half the reason the show is not as good this year. The other half is that Maeby is getting like two minutes total screen time per episode, and meanwhile America is learning there is such a thing as too much David Cross.

[Alex_de_Large]

I give you The Shoe Blog.

[Hank Chinaski]

You know how we have to listen to movie stars' political opinions because they are good looking? The fact that lots of people would fuck them means they have deep thoughts---

Well, once they get haggy, can't we start ignoring them?

[sunnybunny]

OK, I'm helping with a campaign to get Ping on the Tonight Show...you can request a guest by emailing 'tonightshow@nbc.com'

Here's a sample email:


Could you PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE have Ping Wu from the AARP commercial on your show? You’ve most likely seen the commercial – he’s an Asian guy who is actually also called Ping in the commercial. He clones himself because he ‘couldn’t do it all alone’. At one point, ‘Ping AARP’ was the number one download on Google.com. People LOVE the commercial. There are message boards discussing him. Personally, my friends and I are obsessed with seeing the commercial in the mornings while we watch Today and we’ve searched in vain to download a clip of the commercial online.


Picture attached is when Ping goes in to his wife, “Sleepy-Doo” and she realizes she’s in bed with one of his clones. But it’s all cool, he explains, ‘cause “That’s Ping too!”

[barely_legal]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
OK, I'm helping with a campaign to get Ping on the Tonight Show...you can request a guest by emailing 'tonightshow@nbc.com'

Here's a sample email:


Could you PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE have Ping Wu from the AARP commercial on your show? You’ve most likely seen the commercial – he’s an Asian guy who is actually also called Ping in the commercial. He clones himself because he ‘couldn’t do it all alone’. At one point, ‘Ping AARP’ was the number one download on Google.com. People LOVE the commercial. There are message boards discussing him. Personally, my friends and I are obsessed with seeing the commercial in the mornings while we watch Today and we’ve searched in vain to download a clip of the commercial online.


Picture attached is when Ping goes in to his wife, “Sleepy-Doo” and she realizes she’s in bed with one of his clones. But it’s all cool, he explains, ‘cause “That’s Ping too!”

I would like to make it clear that, in the context of your e-mail, I am not one of your friends.

[sunnybunny]

Originally posted by barely_legal
I would like to make it clear that, in the context of your e-mail, I am not one of your friends.

bitch.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski


You know how we have to listen to movie stars' political opinions because they are good looking? The fact that lots of people would fuck them means they have deep thoughts---

Well, once they get haggy, can't we start ignoring them?

We have celebrities host our fundraisers and GOTV drives, so on our side it's pretty much market driven. The party of Reagan, Schwarzeneggar, Thompson, Bono and Eastwood really isn't ready to hear the answer to your question.