Objectively intelligent.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop

Is it me, or is sh*t getting weirder?

Is shit getting weirder? I fucking texted my wife from the grocery store to ask whether I should buy toilet paper or whether that would be considered unethical hoarding. I’m having to get spousal guidance for the significant moral decisions of my life, which involve the potential purchase of some sorry ass four-pack of Happy Nature Tree Lover toilet paper, which looks like shriveled rolls of papier-mâché. Weirder than that? Fuck your toilet paper hoarding. You know what I’m hoarding now? Cristal. Dozens and dozens and dozens of cases of high end Cristal. I know what you’re thinking. “That’s not very prudent. Toilet paper seems like a much more practical purchase.” Because you’re a motherfucking asshole. I don’t need your fucking toilet paper worries crashing my high. Because I don’t need your fucking toilet paper. Because I have an unending Cristal bidet. I know what you’re thinking. “That seems unhygienic and sticky.” Well guess what motherfucker. If you’re rolling in Cristal while all the rest of the clean-assed motherfuckers have run out of booze altogether and are trying to get a buzz off some old Kombucha they found in the basement, you’re going to have to get used to things getting sticky.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

Is shit getting weirder? I fucking texted my wife from the grocery store to ask whether I should buy toilet paper or whether that would be considered unethical hoarding. I’m having to get spousal guidance for the significant moral decisions of my life, which involve the potential purchase of some sorry ass four-pack of Happy Nature Tree Lover toilet paper, which looks like shriveled rolls of papier-mâché. Weirder than that? Fuck your toilet paper hoarding. You know what I’m hoarding now? Cristal. Dozens and dozens and dozens of cases of high end Cristal. I know what you’re thinking. “That’s not very prudent. Toilet paper seems like a much more practical purchase.” Because you’re a motherfucking asshole. I don’t need your fucking toilet paper worries crashing my high. Because I don’t need your fucking toilet paper. Because I have an unending Cristal bidet. I know what you’re thinking. “That seems unhygienic and sticky.” Well guess what motherfucker. If you’re rolling in Cristal while all the rest of the clean-assed motherfuckers have run out of booze altogether and are trying to get a buzz off some old Kombucha they found in the basement, you’re going to have to get used to things getting sticky.

A million years ago, when I met the woman who was to become my wife, her best friend was a gay man. One drunk night he and his friends admitted that they felt ass wiping after a shit was mostly just wiping shit around. I felt the lesson was why bother even wiping. But I believe they felt one should shower after a shit. Now I run, and shit during the run, and I “wipe” when I shower. Their lesson to wash after shitting, still a good one.

But point is no one needs toilet paper really.

[LessinSF]

Mostly for Coltrane-
https://www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/...-its-insurance

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

Is shit getting weirder? I fucking texted my wife from the grocery store to ask whether I should buy toilet paper or whether that would be considered unethical hoarding. I’m having to get spousal guidance for the significant moral decisions of my life, which involve the potential purchase of some sorry ass four-pack of Happy Nature Tree Lover toilet paper, which looks like shriveled rolls of papier-mâché. Weirder than that? Fuck your toilet paper hoarding. You know what I’m hoarding now? Cristal. Dozens and dozens and dozens of cases of high end Cristal. I know what you’re thinking. “That’s not very prudent. Toilet paper seems like a much more practical purchase.” Because you’re a motherfucking asshole. I don’t need your fucking toilet paper worries crashing my high. Because I don’t need your fucking toilet paper. Because I have an unending Cristal bidet. I know what you’re thinking. “That seems unhygienic and sticky.” Well guess what motherfucker. If you’re rolling in Cristal while all the rest of the clean-assed motherfuckers have run out of booze altogether and are trying to get a buzz off some old Kombucha they found in the basement, you’re going to have to get used to things getting sticky.

Cristal might be an economical purchase for the champagne bidet. While Emily Post suggests various Tattingers, Cristal is of a few with a flat bottom bottle. You get an extra ounce, I surmise. And if you take sloppy jogging dumps like Hank, this may be all the difference between a delightful cleansing experience and a feeling of being on house arrest.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop

Is it me, or is sh*t getting weirder?

This is just about right for the moment. Strange, low rent, accruing from incompetence and avarice. This kind of story perfectly fits into the global dumpster fire.

I’m waiting for Ozzy Osborne and Tom Cotton to debate whether this virus came from improperly eating a live bat or some Dr. Evil of the Communist Party accidentally dropping a vial outside a Wuhan viral warfare facility.

[LessinSF]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

This is just about right for the moment. Strange, low rent, accruing from incompetence and avarice. This kind of story perfectly fits into the global dumpster fire.

I’m waiting for Ozzy Osborne and Tom Cotton to debate whether this virus came from improperly eating a live bat or some Dr. Evil of the Communist Party accidentally dropping a vial outside a Wuhan viral warfare facility.

Has Ozzy tried pangolin? https://cen.acs.org/biological-chemi...-humans/98/i13

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally Posted by LessinSF

Mostly for Coltrane-
https://www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/...-its-insurance

The shirt on that guy - I just can't.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

Is shit getting weirder? I fucking texted my wife from the grocery store to ask whether I should buy toilet paper or whether that would be considered unethical hoarding. I’m having to get spousal guidance for the significant moral decisions of my life, which involve the potential purchase of some sorry ass four-pack of Happy Nature Tree Lover toilet paper, which looks like shriveled rolls of papier-mâché. Weirder than that? Fuck your toilet paper hoarding. You know what I’m hoarding now? Cristal. Dozens and dozens and dozens of cases of high end Cristal. I know what you’re thinking. “That’s not very prudent. Toilet paper seems like a much more practical purchase.” Because you’re a motherfucking asshole. I don’t need your fucking toilet paper worries crashing my high. Because I don’t need your fucking toilet paper. Because I have an unending Cristal bidet. I know what you’re thinking. “That seems unhygienic and sticky.” Well guess what motherfucker. If you’re rolling in Cristal while all the rest of the clean-assed motherfuckers have run out of booze altogether and are trying to get a buzz off some old Kombucha they found in the basement, you’re going to have to get used to things getting sticky.

If you had listened to me and ordered commercial supply from Quill.com, you could have received your spousal guidance in significant moral decisions in the privacy of your own home, rather than texting from a grocery store.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Suppose that the federal government has the authority to seize medical supplies without facing a takings claim. (I think the way this works is that the law essentially gives the federal government a ROFR when the supplier sells.) Suppose that the federal government then decides to give have of those supplies to the states, and the other half to a private company which can sell them. What would make the second half of that arrangement illegal? It seems like there must be some laws that prevent the government from giving away government property at sweetheart terms. The whole arrangement sounds wildly corrupt.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop

Suppose that the federal government has the authority to seize medical supplies without facing a takings claim. (I think the way this works is that the law essentially gives the federal government a ROFR when the supplier sells.) Suppose that the federal government then decides to give have of those supplies to the states, and the other half to a private company which can sell them. What would make the second half of that arrangement illegal? It seems like there must be some laws that prevent the government from giving away government property at sweetheart terms. The whole arrangement sounds wildly corrupt.

I think anything that starts with "Suppose that the federal government has the authority" closing the barn door after the horse got out.

Right now, we are looking at someone stripping the last pieces of meat from the bone of a republic.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

I think anything that starts with "Suppose that the federal government has the authority" closing the barn door after the horse got out.

Right now, we are looking at someone stripping the last pieces of meat from the bone of a republic.

I think the government is using the authority it has under the DPA to make suppliers sell to it instead of to others. That's fine. But this business of seizing orders before states can buy them, giving them to private companies, which then auction them to the states -- that is fundamentally corrupt. If that's happening and a Democrat wins in November, I suspect people will be going to prison for that. Maybe there are qui tam suits here for private plaintiffs, too.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop

and a Democrat wins in November,

people need to start saying Biden, not "a dem.." And that fuck needs to concede. People will die because there is a primary in Wisconsin today.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

people need to start saying Biden, not "a dem.." And that fuck needs to concede. People will die because there is a primary in Wisconsin today.

I don't see how Biden can run for President without picking up Covid-19 and he is old enough to be at some risk.

eta: Also, this.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop

If that's happening and a Democrat wins in November

Correct me if I am wrong but I think there would have to be an election for a democrat to win. Right now I'd think "military coup" would have better odds in Vegas than "Presidential election in November."

Look at history. Governments end.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

Correct me if I am wrong but I think there would have to be an election for a democrat to win. Right now I'd think "military coup" would have better odds in Vegas than "Presidential election in November."

Look at history. Governments end.

What's the bet?