Removing the feeding tube from our aging hipster plaid pants

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
"The Dangerfield puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again."

So it's true?

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Your husband was more than uptight... he was gay. How can any man complain about his wife walking around nude? I actually like the idea that people might see my wife naked. I've been to nude beaches with my wife and actually like the idea of watching her walk around naked in front of people. Sadly, if you've been to a nude beach, this usually means she's being watched by a pack of diguisting 55ish men with shaved pubes and a few balding guys with half mullets stroking themselves.

Fucking 'A'

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I have a friend who realized he was being watched jacking off by two chicks in the building next to his. He didn't stop - he finished for them. Not a terrifically attractive fellow, either.

The worst is seeing a relative naked. I saw my aunt once by accident. I didn't think much of it, but she was clearly freaked. Its a terrible thing. Really awkward.

We knew this couple. They lived in a building where there were a lot of complaints about a guy going into the lobby at 5:00 AM and pleasuring himself to the nursing students that were walking by. My wife told the wife about this and she said, "That's odd. I would think hubby would see him. He takes the garbage out every day at that time."

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Hauling a U-Haul is like catching a 5000 lb. tarpon with your car. They flop.

Only Bilmore will get this analogy.

n/a. He said van, not trailer. I get it with trailer, but vans are all one piece.

[AbsOfSteel]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
What is the list of FB-approved kinks? I just thought about it and came to the very disturbing conclusion that I don't think I have any kinks. Maybe my threshold is not set properly?

ix-nay on the oesucking-tay, in any event.

Which brings me full circle to my original, somewhat related question, asking about the toys of choice for the FB crowd.

Do drugs help when trying to follow these threads?

[AbsOfSteel]

Originally posted by AbsOfSteel
Which brings me full circle to my original, somewhat related question, asking about the toys of choice for the FB crowd.

Do drugs help when trying to follow these threads?

Oh, and regarding the toe-sucking.....Are the toes meticulously pedicured?

Senator, I can neither confirm nor deny.....

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by AbsOfSteel
Which brings me full circle to my original, somewhat related question, asking about the toys of choice for the FB crowd.

Do drugs help when trying to follow these threads?

Steriods? No. Were you this irritable before you started taking them?

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by AbsOfSteel
Which brings me full circle to my original, somewhat related question, asking about the toys of choice for the FB crowd.

Do drugs help when trying to follow these threads?

When do they not help?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by pony_trekker
We knew this couple. They lived in a building where there were a lot of complaints about a guy going into the lobby at 5:00 AM and pleasuring himself to the nursing students that were walking by. My wife told the wife about this and she said, "That's odd. I would think hubby would see him. He takes the garbage out every day at that time."

When we lived in the city, my wife claimed there was this nasty old cat who jacked off to chicks sunning themselves in a local park. She also claimed he had a massive hog. I had to see for myself. One day I went with her and sure enopugh, across from a bunch of young girls sunning themselves, this huge fat fucker who looks like BB King sits on a bench, lays a paper on his lap so it looks like he's reading, slips his hand into his shorts and starts working on himself.

I asked my wife how she knew he had a huge hog. She said he'd walk around half erect sometimes and the bulge would run down to the bottom of his shorts... among other things, I'm sure.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
n/a. He said van, not trailer. I get it with trailer, but vans are all one piece.

A distinction without a difference.

[Shape Shifter]

Good looks = better pay. Thanks for figuring this out, Federal Reserve!

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
A distinction without a difference.

WTF are you on???? Give some of it to that steroided torso, and shut the fuck up.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Good looks = better pay. Thanks for figuring this out, Federal Reserve!

I have it on good authority I make more than a pretty damn cute guy, who is not a moron, who is senior to me. So that can't be true in all cases.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by pony_trekker
We knew this couple. They lived in a building where there were a lot of complaints about a guy going into the lobby at 5:00 AM and pleasuring himself to the nursing students that were walking by. My wife told the wife about this and she said, "That's odd. I would think hubby would see him. He takes the garbage out every day at that time."

Would it be illegal to host a show where you offered people piles of cash to engage in lewd and lascivious public conduct. If I were Bill gates, I'd start a cable show where I'd pay people to masturbate in public. It'd be the funniest half hour of television anywhere. Could you imagine the look on people's faces in grocery stores, Wal Marts, etc? But I wonder, could the sponsor get sued/prosecuted for paying people to do that?

I used to pay a friend's younger brother ten bucks to walk into McDonalds or grocery/drug stores, quietly make his way to the front of the line, get to the counter and start screaming or jabbering about people chasing him, throw his arms in the air, flail a bit and go rtearing out the front door. It waorked magnificently at lunch time. Not quite as good as setting off the stink bomb in a crowded pizza joint (you should see how fuming mad angry guidos can get), but pretty funny. I always wondered, "What if we paid him enough to walk into the bathroom, disrobe, and walk out stark naked? he;d horrify everyone." I have always been held back because I didn't have enough money.

And now its all been done by Jackass anyway. But not ALL of it...

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I have it on good authority I make more than a pretty damn cute guy, who is not a moron, who is senior to me. So that can't be true in all cases.

Yeah, but I think the difference is that he's only counting his day job.