General discussion - Mom and Dad Esq.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
How're you ever gonna keep them on the farm once they've seen The Village?

Numbskull has a kid who is young enough not to know its the fucking ice cream truck, yet he still gives advice on how to deal with the most challenging situation in raising a teen. He's like a walking Sealab episode.

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
Any thoughts on the appropriate age for the first two-wheeler? Soon-to-be four Ruth Bader Ramone has been asking for a bike. I don't remember when I started riding, but I think it was older than four. Any opinions/experience as to whether 4 is an appropriate age to leave the trike behind?

Get it done early. Start with training wheels. My 10yo kid (who is athletic, skis and skates very well) just learned to ride a bike this weekend. Once they get older, there is baseball, hockey, soccer & basketball every weekend that occupies their time.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Numbskull has a kid who is young enough not to know its the fucking ice cream truck, yet he still gives advice on how to deal with the most challenging situation in raising a teen.

If you want to make friends, you should be friendly.

He's like a walking Sealab episode.

{Tip: Do not Google Image search for "Stormy Waters" at work. Holy Bejeezus!}

Anyone have any tips for a 1yo's Bday party - other than keep it short and between naptimes? I am gathering ideas for Nov.

[viet_mom]

Originally posted by TexLex
Anyone have any tips for a 1yo's Bday party - other than keep it short and between naptimes? I am gathering ideas for Nov.

I kept it very simple. I had a circus tent, balloon making clown, magician, live farm animals AND pony rides, pizza, sub sandwiches, a pinata, complicated food for the adults, matching mother daughter outfits from April Cornell with pinafores (Joan Crawford!), personalized party favors for each child, a big sugary birthday cake, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches shaped in the form of butterflies, stars and other cookie-cutter shapes which I made every night and froze in my freezer for a month.

We had a BLAST. To do it all over again, I'd skip the pb sandwich artwork (not worth it), sub sandwiches (not eaten), complicated adult food (they ate pizza), live farm animals (overshadowed by ponies and clown). I'd have a party with pizza or other one themed food and a simple cake, and just kick back and watch a really fun clown. Our clown makes balloons AND ALSO does a mean magic show which required child-audience participation and I have to say the magic show was the hit of the party even for the real young ones who were enthralled. (Actually, the clown is also a personal trainer and is really hot under all that white makeup). Don't spend too much time thinking about party favors - just get some goodie bags, kids don't care. The pinata was also a big hit - they got really medieval on that thing.

Okay - got all that? Sheet cake, pinata, clown who can perform some other function (heh heh) besides clowning, some food. Oh and stick a boom box outside with a CD of some pirated/downloaded classics like Elvis, and 50's stuff like Runaround Sue/Tequila, etc. The kids enjoyed that too.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by viet_mom
I kept it very simple. I had a circus tent, balloon making clown, magician, live farm animals AND pony rides, pizza, sub sandwiches, a pinata, complicated food for the adults, matching mother daughter outfits from April Cornell with pinafores (Joan Crawford!), personalized party favors for each child, a big sugary birthday cake, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches shaped in the form of butterflies, stars and other cookie-cutter shapes which I made every night and froze in my freezer for a month.

We had a BLAST. To do it all over again, I'd skip the pb sandwich artwork (not worth it), sub sandwiches (not eaten), complicated adult food (they ate pizza), live farm animals (overshadowed by ponies and clown). I'd have a party with pizza or other one themed food and a simple cake, and just kick back and watch a really fun clown. Our clown makes balloons AND ALSO does a mean magic show which required child-audience participation and I have to say the magic show was the hit of the party even for the real young ones who were enthralled. (Actually, the clown is also a personal trainer and is really hot under all that white makeup). Don't spend too much time thinking about party favors - just get some goodie bags, kids don't care. The pinata was also a big hit - they got really medieval on that thing.

Okay - got all that? Sheet cake, pinata, clown who can perform some other function (heh heh) besides clowning, some food. Oh and stick a boom box outside with a CD of some pirated/downloaded classics like Elvis, and 50's stuff like Runaround Sue/Tequila, etc. The kids enjoyed that too.

Jeez. I hope my wife doesn't see this post. The Vietbabe is one lucky kid and/or you did something really really bad ( )

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by TexLex
Anyone have any tips for a 1yo's Bday party - other than keep it short and between naptimes? I am gathering ideas for Nov.

With all due respect to VietMom, a baby's first birthday should be a celebration in honor of the adults who kept the kid alive despite its best efforts to kill itself for the previous 365 days. A victory party, if you will.

Keep it small; keep it enjoyable for the adults who played a role in the kid's life so far. The kid will not remember it. Give the kid a cupcake with a candle, and it will think it was a banner day.

Shut up, Hank. This, I know.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
With all due respect to VietMom, a baby's first birthday should be a celebration in honor of the adults who kept the kid alive despite its best efforts to kill itself for the previous 365 days. A victory party, if you will.

Keep it small; keep it enjoyable for the adults who played a role in the kid's life so far. The kid will not remember it. Give the kid a cupcake with a candle, and it will think it was a banner day.

Shut up, Hank. This, I know.

2. And, of course, ample booze. Clowns and ponies for a first birthday? That's fucked up.

Originally posted by viet_mom
Birthday EXTRAVAGANZA!!!!

Whoa... He can't even walk yet, so I'm thinking pony rides might be a trifle much. I should add that there may be a few babies there, but only a kid or two - hardly enough to merit ponies, cool though they may be. Probably against the deed restrictions too. And Pennywise and his ilk can stay the hell away - eww. I plan on making a cool cake - I made our wedding cake, so how hard can a baby cake be? - and invites with his photo or something on them. I can't decide what sort of grown-up food to have...something easy. Chili? Burgers? Gumbo? Lasagne? Turkey? Oh, wait, that's the week after. And beer - that goes without saying...it is football season, besides. VM - I like the idea of 50's music - nice and kid friendly - and maybe a pinata, for the adults...pinata + beer, hmmmm......

Flinty - you've got one of these coming up too...get planning!

-TL

[viet_mom]

Originally posted by TexLex
Whoa... He can't even walk yet, so I'm thinking pony rides might be a trifle much. I should add that there may be a few babies there, but only a kid or two - hardly enough to merit ponies, cool though they may be. Probably against the deed restrictions too. And Pennywise and his ilk can stay the hell away - eww. I plan on making a cool cake - I made our wedding cake, so how hard can a baby cake be? - and invites with his photo or something on them. I can't decide what sort of grown-up food to have...something easy. Chili? Burgers? Gumbo? Lasagne? Turkey? Oh, wait, that's the week after. And beer - that goes without saying...it is football season, besides. VM - I like the idea of 50's music - nice and kid friendly - and maybe a pinata, for the adults...pinata + beer, hmmmm......

Flinty - you've got one of these coming up too...get planning!

-TL

Yeah, if he can't walk yet, pony rides would be a bit much. I'd been taking the Babe to an amusement park a lot and she was real into the crazy circus atmosphere so I went for it. Plus you hardly have any kids there. We had a ton, many of them of the age where magic and ponies are cool. For us, the party was the first time we had people over since adopting (we had come home to a ton of snow and a cold long winter) so it was more of a combo party celebrating everything. Including as Atticus says, the miracle that the kid survived. A week before the party I had the famous over-105.5 fever/emergency room episode so I felt we had survived a lot in the prior year. I'm normally a loner so the big party was a hoot for me. Maybe it was the "large wedding" substitute (pennywise too!) Plus I was in the blissful stage where the Babe was spoiling me with 3 hour naps and I was giddy, what can I say. One benefit to all the hoopla was the adults got to kick back and have fun while their kids went nutty with all the stuff. Not once did a kiddie disturb an adult with a whine that day.

I hear you on the "what to feed the adults" thing. I like the Chili idea. Hell - you're in Texas!! For non-Chili people, you could have some alternative but I don't know if lasagne goes too well with Chili. You could go with a big chicken dish and the corn bread (which I assume you'll have with the Chili) could be used with that too. A real big hearty salad is nice, with tons of stuff like different cheeses, nuts such as walnuts, tomatoes, onions, the works. Or if you're doing Chili, you could do some other stew alongside it.

Have the best time ever!!

I found TALKING PINATAS but it doesn't tell me what they say. I can imagine what I would say if I were a pinata and it's not real family friendly.

ETA - I make ONE main dish and the guests like it or get take-out on the way home. I got limits here. Salad, bread-like item, some form of veggie and a main dish. I'm thinking Chili now - salad, homemade cornbread, um I can't think of a veg that goes with chili except corn and it's out of season....doesn't matter they can leave room for the spectaculous cake that I just thought of.

[viet_mom]

Originally posted by TexLex
I found TALKING PINATAS but it doesn't tell me what they say. I can imagine what I would say if I were a pinata and it's not real family friendly.

That web site with the pinatas is hilarious. You got talking sports pinata, a talking traditional Mexican pinata, and then there is a category called "Clearance Pinatas" so I clicked it to find out why.



I am really astounded that kids don't flip for a lighthouse pinata. And a red cat? Come on!!

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by TexLex
I found TALKING PINATAS but it doesn't tell me what they say. I can imagine what I would say if I were a pinata and it's not real family friendly.

ETA - I make ONE main dish and the guests like it or get take-out on the way home. I got limits here. Salad, bread-like item, some form of veggie and a main dish. I'm thinking Chili now - salad, homemade cornbread, um I can't think of a veg that goes with chili except corn and it's out of season....doesn't matter they can leave room for the spectaculous cake that I just thought of.

I do have to think about the Flintette's 1 yr. b-day party, and I have some questions for you all. First, who is supposed to be invited? Family yeah, friends with kids, yeah. But I don't think I should invite any friends w/out kids--won't they be bored? I would be. Or is the birthday party aspect of it just a ruse. I don't want my childless friends to feel compelled to come and give a gift to a kid who won't even acknowledge them, except to perhaps smile and/or drool on them. Ms. Manners, please help.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
With all due respect to VietMom, a baby's first birthday should be a celebration in honor of the adults who kept the kid alive despite its best efforts to kill itself for the previous 365 days. A victory party, if you will.

Keep it small; keep it enjoyable for the adults who played a role in the kid's life so far. The kid will not remember it. Give the kid a cupcake with a candle, and it will think it was a banner day.

Shut up, Hank. This, I know.

2. The Gaplets' firsts were mostly victory celebrations for the parents and grandparents, and the pictures of cake-smeared infants (and the grandfather in a party hat) were all the mementos we really needed.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
But I don't think I should invite any friends w/out kids--won't they be bored?

Invite the ones who didn't recoil in horror when you offered to let them hold the newborn. Don't invite the ones who did. Both categories of friend will thank you.