Fashion Board 1-08-04 through 02-03-04

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by purse junkie
No. Guys that are interested in a woman only for her breeding potential and the way it reflects on their manliness are impotent losers.

Uh, isn't that one of the whole biological point of attraction? We're interested in the people who will produce the best offspring with us?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous
Another anonymous request for marital advice. I know. So passe. But I trust the collective judgment of the people who reside here, so here goes nothing.

I've been married for 6 years and have been with my spouse for 9. Lately things have been deteriorating. I've been losing interest in the relationship and entertaining thoughts of divorce. There are no children involved, so the thought of it sometimes tempts me. The problem is that it's hard to convince myself I would rather risk being alone for the rest of my life than be married to my spouse.

On the other side of things, I really don't want to give up on this relationship. I think it is still salvageable and I have invested a lot of time and effort in it. I love my spouse dearly and know em loves me. There have been no extra-marital shenanigans or anything like that, as far as I know.

The main issues really stem from what I think are attitudinal/psychological problems my spouse has. Em worries about things too much and is generally negative. Em has little to no sex drive. Em is difficult to talk to about these issue. I hate the word "em". Em went to a couple of counselling session but stopped going due to a perception that the problems had been discussed and addressed.

In my opinion, my spouse really needs to go back to counselling. Perhaps I could use some too? I am a pretty positive person, but em's negativity is really getting to me. It is harder and harder for me to deal with, and the lack of consistent sexual congress doesn't help. It's a lot of hard emotional work for very little reward.

I know I need to talk to em about this stuff, but what I don't know is whether this relationship is truly worth fighting for. I suppose only I can answer that question, but I'm looking for comments from you. Perhaps you know a couple who experienced something similar and was able to come out of it OK. Maybe the opposite?

Thanks for your comments.

Em sounds clinically depressed. Get him on some happy pills and to a psychiatrist.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Yeh, I want a woman with breeding hips so we can have a bus full of kids so I'll never retire early. I'd sooner play Russian Roulette with two bullets in the revolver.

Men are interested in smart hot normal chicks. Yes, its entirely that simple. If you're smart and hot and normal, you'll get any man you want.

I totally disagree. If you're smart and hot and normal, you'll scare away the guys that aren't smarter than you, you'll only be hit on by guys that aren't nearly as hot as they think they are, and you'll only be attracted to asshole-y guys who play drums in a local band or who tend bar at your local watering hole. You'll have tons of guy friends who can't understand why you can't meet a guy, cause hell, all they are really looking for is someone just like you.

You'll sit on a bar stool looking dreamily at drummer/barkeep sipping your light beer out of a bottle while everyone in the bar thinks "what the hell is that smart, hot, normal girl doing here all alone?"

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
I totally disagree. If you're smart and hot and normal, you'll scare away the guys that aren't smarter than you, you'll only be hit on by guys that aren't nearly as hot as they think they are, and you'll only be attracted to asshole-y guys who play drums in a local band or who tend bar at your local watering hole. You'll have tons of guy friends who can't understand why you can't meet a guy, cause hell, all they are really looking for is someone just like you.

You'll sit on a bar stool looking dreamily at drummer/barkeep sipping your light beer out of a bottle while everyone in the bar thinks "what the hell is that smart, hot, normal girl doing here all alone?"

I married a smart, hot, normal chick.

Does this prove or disprove your point?

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
I married a smart, hot, normal chick.

Does this prove or disprove your point?

As did my husband.

I'm not saying that hot, smart normal chicks don't find love. I'm just saying that they can't have any guy they want.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
I totally disagree. If you're smart and hot and normal, you'll scare away the guys that aren't smarter than you, you'll only be hit on by guys that aren't nearly as hot as they think they are, and you'll only be attracted to asshole-y guys who play drums in a local band or who tend bar at your local watering hole.

Just curious. Is it normally considered "smart" to be attracted to asshole-y drummers in bar bands?

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by spookyfish
Just curious. Is it normally considered "smart" to be attracted to asshole-y drummers in bar bands?

One can be "smart" in an "I got a JD and an MBA and went to Harvard and Wharton and made law review and work at a big prestigious white shoe firm" and still be "not smart" in a "but I really like drummers/lacrosse players/ bartenders" kind of way.

Trust me on this.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
One can be "smart" in an "I got a JD and an MBA and went to Harvard and Wharton and made law review and work at a big prestigious white shoe firm" and still be "not smart" in a "but I really like drummers/lacrosse players/ bartenders" kind of way.

Trust me on this.

Well, I understand the bartender thing, as this means free drinks, but then I'll have to trust you on the others.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous
Another anonymous request for marital advice. I know. So passe. But I trust the collective judgment of the people who reside here, so here goes nothing.

I've been married for 6 years and have been with my spouse for 9. Lately things have been deteriorating. I've been losing interest in the relationship and entertaining thoughts of divorce. There are no children involved, so the thought of it sometimes tempts me. The problem is that it's hard to convince myself I would rather risk being alone for the rest of my life than be married to my spouse.

On the other side of things, I really don't want to give up on this relationship. I think it is still salvageable and I have invested a lot of time and effort in it. I love my spouse dearly and know em loves me. There have been no extra-marital shenanigans or anything like that, as far as I know.

The main issues really stem from what I think are attitudinal/psychological problems my spouse has. Em worries about things too much and is generally negative. Em has little to no sex drive. Em is difficult to talk to about these issue. I hate the word "em". Em went to a couple of counselling session but stopped going due to a perception that the problems had been discussed and addressed.

In my opinion, my spouse really needs to go back to counselling. Perhaps I could use some too? I am a pretty positive person, but em's negativity is really getting to me. It is harder and harder for me to deal with, and the lack of consistent sexual congress doesn't help. It's a lot of hard emotional work for very little reward.

I know I need to talk to em about this stuff, but what I don't know is whether this relationship is truly worth fighting for. I suppose only I can answer that question, but I'm looking for comments from you. Perhaps you know a couple who experienced something similar and was able to come out of it OK. Maybe the opposite?

Thanks for your comments.

It sounds like you might want to consider both of you going in for counseling together. Alternatively, perhaps you need to be more clear about your feelings with your spouse. It's difficult (although not impossible) to live with significant differences like these over the long term. At least you don't have children to further complicate things.

As for the lack of sex, dry spells occur on marriages. That's just a fact of life. There's only a real problem if your spouse's mindframe is what is causing those dry spells.

I am somewhat familiar with what you're going through. If you waant to PM me, we can talk in greater detail if you'd like. On the other hand, if this is just someone fucking around, then bite me.

Originally posted by spookyfish
Clearly, he was Bosley.

whiff

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous
Another anonymous request for marital advice.

You'll get lots of other advice, but, at the very least, be incredibly careful in the birth control area.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
One can be "smart" in an "I got a JD and an MBA and went to Harvard and Wharton and made law review and work at a big prestigious white shoe firm" and still be "not smart" in a "but I really like drummers/lacrosse players/ bartenders" kind of way.

One can also do all of these things and be "not smart" in many other ways as well. Double major 4.0 girl I dated in college was one of the biggest morons I've ever met (but she was hot). Biggest ditz ever.

Then again, Adam Smith was a ditz as well.

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Em sounds clinically depressed. Get him on some happy pills and to a psychiatrist.

This is what I believe. Em has come very close to acknowledging this, too, but is against medication.

I actually think it is dysthmia - which is a milder, longer-term form of depression - combined with a bit of social and general anxiety disorder.

Does medication really help? I've heard it can make the person more pleasant, but can have a negative impact on that person's libido. Obviously, this would help one problem, but exacerbate the other.

To the person who asked about other problems, I don't think there are any. We both enjoy our jobs and have good realationships with each other's families.

Lack of friends is sort of an issue, but that goes back to the bit of social anxiety my spouse has, which means we don't go out much.

To be sure, I am not the perfect spouse. I'm positive my spouse has issues with me, but I do my best to address them when they are identified and commented on.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
One can be "smart" in an "I got a JD and an MBA and went to Harvard and Wharton and made law review and work at a big prestigious white shoe firm" and still be "not smart" in a "but I really like drummers/lacrosse players/ bartenders" kind of way.

Trust me on this.

This reminds me, the Donald was on Leno last night. Could someone please tell him to cut his hair.
I don't think he was attracted to Ivana for her child-bearing hips, of course I could never figure out why he was attracted to her. I know what hers was for him.

So he says he's having a bad hair day - in his opinion worse than every other day - and he pulls back the front and it's his real hair!! That's not a toupe. I was shocked, it soo looks like a toupe.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
What, and spend all those years waiting for your parents to kick and currying favor with your trustees? No thank you.

As opposed to spending all those years waiting for that mysterious chimera "job satisfaction" to appear and currying favor with the partners/bosses? No thank you.