General discussion - Mom and Dad Esq.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by TexLex
I need to settle a rumor - that in CA siblings over 5 may not share a bedroom by law. I checked the Family Code and found nothing. Can any Californians shed some light on this? TIA!

I would be shocked (shocked!) if there is such a law. I can't find any evidence of it. If it did exist, it would probably be found unconstitutional under both the state and federal constitutions within the first thirty seconds of its enactment.

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I would be shocked (shocked!) if there is such a law. I can't find any evidence of it. If it did exist, it would probably be found unconstitutional under both the state and federal constitutions within the first thirty seconds of its enactment.

I know - I think it has to be bunk, but I've got people hollering at me that it is true. I think they probably have the foster-child requirements confused with what is required for non-foster kids.

Originally posted by johnny_doe_esq
I hadn't heard they closed any 529-type plan. The did close enrollment for the Texas Tomorrow Funds for the simple reason that once the legislature gave up control of state school tuition, they couldn't give a flat-rate quote today for fully-paid tuition in 18 years. We got in just under the wire for our first kid, at the end of 2002.

OK - I was confoosed. It's not the first time.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by TexLex
I know - I think it has to be bunk, but I've got people hollering at me that it is true. I think they probably have the foster-child requirements confused with what is required for non-foster kids.

Foster child rule, on the other hand, is completely plausible.

[viet_mom]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Foster child rule, on the other hand, is completely plausible.

I would be interested in what the stated policy is behind the legislation (or maybe it's a regulation but there might be some regulatory history on it). If the rule (applicable to kids over 5) is meant to deter sexuality between children, and the rule applies to foster kids as opposed to non-foster kids, there might be an assumption that a six year old would be more likely to end up in a sexual act with a non-blood related child than a six year old biologically related to the other child(ren).

Or maybe it's not blood relation, but rather the assumption that a foster kid is (or could be) fairly new to the family and so the societal "taboos" would not have kicked in (or kicked in yet). Either way, I wonder how the rule would apply to: (1) adopted children (not blood related but not "foster children) and (2) adopted children brought into the home when the other children are a few years older than the adoptee (i.e., a fairly new, non-blood related arrival).

Vietmom (gonna be a late night stuffing "goody bags" and preparing for the party tomorrow!)

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by viet_mom
I would be interested in what the stated policy is behind the legislation (or maybe it's a regulation but there might be some regulatory history on it). If the rule (applicable to kids over 5) is meant to deter sexuality between children, and the rule applies to foster kids as opposed to non-foster kids, there might be an assumption that a six year old would be more likely to end up in a sexual act with a non-blood related child than a six year old biologically related to the other child(ren).

given that aticus' sister eventually had to get a restraining order against him, (when she was 14!) it is sort or either ironic or maybe sick that he's the one bringing up this distinction.

Originally posted by TexLex
I need to settle a rumor - that in CA siblings over 5 may not share a bedroom by law. I checked the Family Code and found nothing. Can any Californians shed some light on this? TIA!

From some California Group Homes regulation (found by Google search of "california code child bedroom five"), on page 54 of this pdf (that is, page 54 is on the document, it's the 10th page of the pdf).


Article 7. PHYSICAL ENVIRONMENT
84087 BUILDINGS AND GROUNDS 84087
(a) In addition to Section 80087, the following shall apply.
(b) Bedrooms shall meet, at a minimum, the following requirements:
(1) No more than two children shall sleep in a bedroom.
(2) Bedrooms shall be large enough to allow for easy passage and comfortable use of any
required assistive devices, including but not limited to wheelchairs, between beds and other
items of furniture.
(3) Children of the opposite sex shall not share a bedroom unless each child is under five years of age.
(4) No room commonly used for other purposes shall be used as a bedroom.
(A) Such rooms shall include but not be limited to halls, stairways, unfinished attics or
basements, garages, storage areas, and sheds or similar detached buildings.
(5) No bedroom shall be used as a public or general passageway to another room, bath or toilet.
(6) Except for infants, children shall not share a bedroom with an adult.
(A) In bedrooms shared by adults and infants, no more than one infant and no more than
two adults shall share the room.
(B) If two children have been sharing a bedroom and one of them turns 18 they may
continue to share the bedroom as long as they remain compatible and the licensing
agency has granted an exception pursuant to Section 80024.
(7) Private bedrooms, separate from the children's bedrooms shall be provided for staff or other
adults who sleep at the facility.
(A) Staff bedrooms are to be located near the children's sleeping area.

Originally posted by johnny_doe_esq
From some California Group Homes regulation (found by Google search of "california code child bedroom five"), on page 54 of this pdf (that is, page 54 is on the document, it's the 10th page of the pdf).

Ah -- here's an HTML version, for CA "small family homes" (evidently their version of small, private group homes, which I read as foster homes).

[dtb]

So I dropped my oldest boy off at his first day of kindergarten this morning, and I've got to say, my heart just about burst with happiness for him. He was so excited/nervous I just wanted to squish him with 1,000,000 or so hugs.

Sorry to be such a sap, but I'm still smiling (on the inside, anyway).

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by dtb
So I dropped my oldest boy off at his first day of kindergarten this morning, and I've got to say, my heart just about burst with happiness for him. He was so excited/nervous I just wanted to squish him with 1,000,000 or so hugs.

Sorry to be such a sap, but I'm still smiling (on the inside, anyway).

I miss you too Mommy. And please, no more salami sandwiches for lunch, it's tough to trade those.

Originally posted by dtb
So I dropped my oldest boy off at his first day of kindergarten this morning....

Awwww. Did you take a picture?

My mom has an album with each of us on our 1st day of each grade, which after about 5th grade chronicles the level of dorkiness we had reached each year. I had planned to do the same, but I have now decided that I like my baby as is and he is never going to grow up.

[viet_mom]

Originally posted by dtb
So I dropped my oldest boy off at his first day of kindergarten this morning, and I've got to say, my heart just about burst with happiness for him. He was so excited/nervous I just wanted to squish him with 1,000,000 or so hugs. Sorry to be such a sap, but I'm still smiling (on the inside, anyway).

So you didn't get teary-eyed too? I hate when that happens. A few weeks ago, Vietbabe went around on a little ride at the amusement park for the first time "all by herself" and waved to me "bye bye" and I unexpectedly broke down into hysterical sobs while holding cotton candy and a disposable camera. And then couldn't stop! Ugh.

Yes, I hope you took a picture. If you didn't you could still take one and then say "This was your first *week* at school." I would add: see if you can also take a picture of the other kids. My "first day at school" shot included 4 other kids waiting at the bus stop. The picture is great not just because I'm standing there pigeon-toed in ugly Stride Rite's, but the other kids are wearing hilarious Brady Bunch "groovy" clothes (a boy in a suede vest and striped pants!!) and so the pic is nice as a period piece.

Congratulations on successfully mothering your boy to Kindergartenhood. You must be so proud. *Sniffle* *Sniffle*

Vietmom

[dtb]

Originally posted by viet_mom
So you didn't get teary-eyed too? I hate when that happens.

Actually, no; I didn't get teary-eyed, although I do get teary-eyed at other moments. I was much more upset leaving him at preschool (even the very thought of leaving him on his own at school brought a lump to my throat).

As for the photo op, my mother came over this morning and hogged up all the film and I can guarantee you there won't be one in-focus picture among them -- so I'll have to take a picture on Wednesday (it's "assembly day" and he has to wear his jacket and tie!).

It was an extra-special day today, though, because I went to pick him up at school today too (not just drop-off!), so he was very very happy.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by TexLex
Awwww. Did you take a picture?

My mom has an album with each of us on our 1st day of each grade, which after about 5th grade chronicles the level of dorkiness we had reached each year. I had planned to do the same, but I have now decided that I like my baby as is and he is never going to grow up.

I intended to write a letter to the Brazenette each year on her birthday. I sat down to do so this year and was completely at a loss for what to say beyond "You are the most amazing child I have ever met. I love you. I can't believe I made you." That seemed like sort of a stupid sentiment for something as monumental as a first birthday, and so I abandonned the idea.

In its place, I went to the paint-your-own pottery place and made a plate with her handprint. If I remember to do this every year until she is some unspecified age, I should have a nice set to give her for her first apartment. Of course, I am aware that I will never be able to part with any of it. I am such a sap.

[dtb]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
I intended to write a letter to the Brazenette each year on her birthday. I sat down to do so this year and was completely at a loss for what to say beyond "You are the most amazing child I have ever met. I love you. I can't believe I made you." That seemed like sort of a stupid sentiment for something as monumental as a first birthday, and so I abandonned the idea.

You know that movie about the dancing boy? (The British working-class kid who doesn't want to box, but to dance -- SHIT -- what is the name of that movie?)

Anyway, his charcter has a letter from his dead mother, who knew she was dying and wrote him a letter, part of which makes me tear up just thinking of it:

I'm proud to have known you, and proud you are mine.

SEE? My eyes are leaking.