A sad, constant bid for attention - Page 84

Replaced_Texan · 09-27-2006, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Are you sure you didn't have any boyfriends in high school? I, at least, have a number of lost High School weekends where I really just don't know what happened.

Nope. Those sorts of weekends didn't start until college. I was a late bloomer.

Oliver_Wendell_Ramone · 09-27-2006, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I just riffed on Hank's thing.

You may want to get tested.

Quote:

I have no idea whether sunny is flat or buxom.

I believe we've established flat-chested with a big ass.

Shape Shifter · 09-27-2006, 06:59 PM

Dustin Diamond has a sex tape

I really hope this isn't true, but Dustin Diamond (Screech from Saved by the Bell) supposedly has a 40-minute sex tape in which he engages in a threesome with two women and even performs a Dirty Sanchez.

Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered some of Hollywood's biggest celebrity-skin deals, confirms that he's acquired the rights to a tape featuring Diamond. "Just when you think you have seen everything in this business," he tells us, "mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it."
The working title for the sex tape is "Saved by the Smell," but they should consider changing it to "The Last Video You Will Ever Watch" and then package a gun with every copy of the tape, so that after you watch it you can blow out your own brains. Because after you see a naked Screech wiping a women's upper lip with her own feces I can't imagine your brain could be thinking anything other than self termination. Kill the body to save the mind.

http://thesuperficial.com/2006/09/du..._sex_tape.html

NotFromHere · 09-27-2006, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Trailer trash is a unique, extreme subset of loserdom that does not even come close to being an acceptable description for the sort of dopey, useless woman I'm thinking about. I am talking about a woman who's lazy and has no future, not a woman who's ugly or socioeconomically screwed out of the gate.

They were cheerleaders. They were (supposedly) hot in high school. One girl had boobs so large she could only muster a 3" vertical leap. The guys all laughed at cheerleader tryouts, but voted her in anyway.

They had it all. Got lazy, fat, worked at Popeyes or Pizza Hut.

ltl/fb · 09-27-2006, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Oh my god, that's true.

I take back my scold.

Good fringey. Nice fringey. Have some bacon.

Mmmmmmmmm, baaaaaacooooon.

Stupid birthday* cake was crappy carrot cake. Blech.

*not mine

Hank Chinaski · 09-27-2006, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Apropos of Nothing, I am going to apologize to patentpara for unfairly scolding her about saying Sunny was pretty, especially given that Fringey and Hank, those lovebirds, made comments about SB's chest, and I didn't scold them, because they are on my team, so that was wrong and hypocritical of me.

Bad Hank. Bad Fringey.

Patentpara, you may come in and have a cookie.

you think saying someone has less than Ds is conveying enough info to partially out them? you watch too much Playboy TV.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy · 09-27-2006, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Since I was the most popular kid in HS, I skipped my 10-year HS reunion, knowing that it would ruin it for everyone else who was anticipating hanging out with me. Suckers.

Last reunion, one of the tight-sweater girls from high school informed me that they all thought I was cool and described me as a "popular kid". I, of course, thought nothing of the sort, but I did think the hippy chicks were cool. The hippy chicks thought the lacrosse players were cool. And the lacrosse players thought the tight-sweater girls were cool.

I decided then that there weren't really any popular kids in high school.

Hank Chinaski · 09-27-2006, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Oh my god, that's true.

I take back my scold.

Good fringey. Nice fringey. Have some bacon.

and Fringey was whiffing on what i meant.

robustpuppy · 09-27-2006, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
you think saying someone has less than Ds is conveying enough info to partially out them? you watch too much Playboy TV.

My bad. What can I say? As a Libra, I am very indecisive, yet I seek balance and harmony, which means that Mr. Nicey Nice can fuck with my head.

ThurgreedMarshall · 09-27-2006, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
that's a little disturbing.

Why? Who doesn't this describe?

TM

Hank Chinaski · 09-27-2006, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Last reunion, one of the tight-sweater girls from high school informed me that they all thought I was cool and described me as a "popular kid". I, of course, thought nothing of the sort, but I did think the hippy chicks were cool. The hippy chicks thought the lacrosse players were cool. And the lacrosse players thought the tight-sweater girls were cool.

I decided then that there weren't really any popular kids in high school.

read David Sedaris re. popular, but that was middle school.

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 09-27-2006, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Last reunion, one of the tight-sweater girls from high school informed me that they all thought I was cool and described me as a "popular kid". I, of course, thought nothing of the sort, but I did think the hippy chicks were cool. The hippy chicks thought the lacrosse players were cool. And the lacrosse players thought the tight-sweater girls were cool.

I decided then that there weren't really any popular kids in high school.

No. There were. Me. It was almost as good as being cool on the FB, like Flower.

bold_n_brazen · 09-27-2006, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by soup sandwich
Apropos of nothing, I took my wife* to see Ruthless People on our second** movie date. The movie is funny the first time you see it, but it hasn't aged well.

*She was not my wife at the time, rather, she was my high school classmate. We dated for one month in 1986 and then got married 13 years later.

**First movie date was Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

I am shocked at the number of folks who have similar stories.

I am currently seeing my high school sweetheart, after a whole lot of years apart. Everywhere we go, we wind up meeting other couples who too dated a long time ago.

It's really cute. And we should all be on a very special episode of Oprah.

(And the only movie I can remember seeing with him in a movie theater is Purple Rain. There's something very wrong about that.)

Gattigap · 09-27-2006, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I knew I'd get that. Shame on you, you reasoned retorting sissy.

But when a chick is a full on zero... like, I mean, a complete fucking waste - no career, dumb as a stump... all the things you'd use to quantify a man as a loser, what do you call her?

Cousins back home.

ltl/fb · 09-27-2006, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Last reunion, one of the tight-sweater girls from high school informed me that they all thought I was cool and described me as a "popular kid". I, of course, thought nothing of the sort, but I did think the hippy chicks were cool. The hippy chicks thought the lacrosse players were cool. And the lacrosse players thought the tight-sweater girls were cool.

I decided then that there weren't really any popular kids in high school.

I think finding out all about your high school class would be kind of like seeing Screech giving a hot chick a Dirty Sanchez. If you were cool.