Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03 - 10-3-03

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Aloha Mr. Learned Hand
A couple of times, Ty: Saw one in the Loop that an apparently wealthy gentleman was riding to work. I was waiting at a red light and heard this whirring noise. Came to a stop 5 feet from me. Told another pedestrian he bought it on Amazon and rides it 2 miles each way to work.

Second time was two weeks ago when I took Mrs. Hand to see Peter Gabriel (can't imagine a big FB following, so here's all the spoiler space you get if you're going to see him), but he and his daughter Melanie performed "Games Without Frontiers" on Segways, going back and forth across the stage and rotating in place. Seem very maneuverable and look like fun, but I'm not sure about their utility yet...

Yep, I've seen at least one on four different occasions. The strangest one being two young adults flying down Belmont at 11 PM on a Thursday night...they're all over the place here.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Concur completely. Except the part about Ben Affleck. Handsome but not crushworthy. He "sleeps" with J-Lo, for God's sake.

That's why I said it was OK if you had one on him in the mid '90s, but not now. He was pretty cool back then (it was a LONG time ago)...he is the complete polar opposite of cool now.

[ThrashersFan]

http://slate.msn.com/id/2085402/

spree: amputee wannabes

"Baz remembers first seeing an amputee when he was a 4-year old boy in Liverpool. By the time he was 7 he had begun to think, "This is the way I should be." It was not until Baz was in his 50s, however, that he actually had his leg amputated. Baz froze his leg in dry ice until it was irreversibly damaged, then persuaded a surgeon to complete the job. When he awoke from the anesthetic and his left leg was gone, he says, "All my torment had disappeared."

Who the...what the....I don't..... oh fuck it

:wtf??:

[ABBAKiss]

Has anyone actually seen a Segway? Not on TV, but in person?

One passed me on the sidewalk while I was in a car stuck in traffic.

Speaking of segway, around ABBAland there is a troop of what I like to call "tall bike people" that freak me out. They are not particularly tall people, but they ride bikes that are at least ten feet tall. And they ride them all Tokyo, weaving in and out of the car traffic. Totally creepy. I think there are about fifteen troop members and they have collectively showered 73 times since 1997.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
The Fake Chuckle is best used with people who are bubbly and positive, but not very funny. You know the type - the ones who say something like "And then I realized we'd purchased fuschia rather than watermelon linoleum for the countertops" and then burst into hysterics. These people tend to grab you by the shirt and tell you about how they tripped getting off the subway and nearly fell down while guffawing as though they'd just stumbled across a gaggle of midget clowns re-enacting the battle of Gettysburg against a mime troupe in a public park on the way to work.

S(Your Heloise for the modern office)D

I must now assume that you have met me. Indeed.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

No word on whether they'll be eligible for the $400 child-care tax credit in 22 months.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
I have ridden one. Briefly.

That doesn't answer the question. No one is interested in your bizarre sexual fetishes or your lack of staying power (other than the makers of Viagra, although I don't think that they post here).

The question was and remains, have you ever SEEN one???? In person and not on TV.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by bilmore
No, now there's a couple bigger, so it's either Expisexual or Hummersexual.

But, Hummersexual would be too confusing.

(The erection? One of the lines I always read/hear is "guys buy big trucks as a testosterone replacement." Maybe it's just a MN line.)

In my current neighborhood, the Suburban is the vehicle of choice for soccer moms, at least the ones too conservative or too "poor" to buy Range Rovers. H2s are, oddly enough, driven equally by middle-aged men, for whom they are definitely penis extensions, and little old ladies, for reasons that baffle me and are frankly too frightening to contemplate.

In Houston, they just seemed to be the vehicle of choice for everybody who needed more room than a pickup.

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by taxwonk
In my current neighborhood, the Suburban is the vehicle of choice for soccer moms, at least the ones too conservative or too "poor" to buy Range Rovers. H2s are, oddly enough, driven equally by middle-aged men, for whom they are definitely penis extensions, and little old ladies, for reasons that baffle me and are frankly too frightening to contemplate.

In Houston, they just seemed to be the vehicle of choice for everybody who needed more room than a pickup.

Where I live, Humvees and H2s are used for such daring off-road adventures as grabbing a latte at Starbucks or getting cash and donuts (which are served on Saturdays) at the bank.

It's completely fucking stupid.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Tyrone_Slothrop
Has anyone actually seen a Segway? Not on TV, but in person?

I have seen cops use them to whiz around O'Hare airport.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by purse junkie
Where I live, Humvees and H2s are used for such daring off-road adventures as grabbing a latte at Starbucks or getting cash and donuts (which are served on Saturdays) at the bank.

It's completely fucking stupid.

You seem to underestimate the value of being able to drive over several cars and the curb in order to get ahead a couple of places in line for that latte.

Canyonero!

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
That doesn't answer the question.

Your point is . . . what?

No one is interested in your bizarre sexual fetishes

That is not true, and you know that it is not true, and that makes it a lie.

or your lack of staying power (other than the makers of Viagra, although I don't think that they post here).

As everyone knows, quick ejaculation time is a preferred genetic trait, evolutionarily speaking, for it is the quick ejaculators who recover more quickly and move on to further quick ejaculations, spreading their seed at a far more rapid rate than the slow ejaculators. This genetic enhancement, with which I have been blessed, is an invaluable tool in my quest to create, through fornication, an army of Pretty Littler Flowers, all of whom will worship me like a god, and whom I will mold in my image.

The question was and remains, have you ever SEEN one???? In person and not on TV.

I have ridden one. Briefly.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by evenodds
Marriage tames geniuses and criminals

The data remarkably concur with the brutal observation made by Albert Einstein, who wrote in 1942: "A person who has not made his great contribution to science before the age of 30 will never do so."

Well, shoot. I guess I'd better bag my plans to win the Nobel for creating a cold fusion gizmo, and get back to work on perfecting the knuckleball so that I can pitch in the World Series. I figure that I still got a few years left to work on that particular item on my "Things To Do With My Life" checklist.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by purse junkie
Where I live, Humvees and H2s are used for such daring off-road adventures as grabbing a latte at Starbucks or getting cash and donuts (which are served on Saturdays) at the bank.

It's completely fucking stupid.

The H2 drivers of Houston are lucky that I have opted against the conceal/carry license, because it's getting to the point that their mere presence on the road sends me into homocidal rage.

I know only one guy with a semi-legitimate reason to own one.

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
You seem to underestimate the value of being able to drive over several cars and the curb in order to get ahead a couple of places in line for that latte.

Canyonero!

That would already be done by the parents of mathematically impossible numbers of infants and small toddlers in those fucking double-wide multiple-baby carriages that ram them into childfree persons' Achilles' heels or simply barrel us off the sidewalk into traffic to get ahead.

Jesus. Can't these women just get their goddamned tubes tied already?