Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03 - 10-3-03

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Never reveal the real number. Your bf/gf doesn't really want to know. It will come back to haunt you. The number is either higher or lower and can be used out of context in a future argument about nothing (e.g. well you're the ho who slept with 20 guys or how would you know, you've only been with 2 guys).

Agreed. I would never ask. In my current relationship, I was asked, and feeling that it was none of her business, I told her so. Then, when pressed, I decided to lie. Much later, I copped to the lie, and came up with a number that, while closer to the truth, was still too low to be accurate. The real number is hazy (do you count just oral, or no -- and how to count those group situations?) and would take too much work to calculate, and it's really nobody's business but mine anyway. Hence the lie is justified.

str8.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
Its surprising that TM et al get so fixated on you and I being the source of all socks, that they become hilarious fodder for the sockjinks of either Slave or JFF (or whatever he used to be called).

Penske

The over-the-top nature led me to believe you were pulling the old flim flam. The shim sham. Another one of those "bate" and switch tactics, trickster. At first, I thought, too many Penske references. Can't be Penske. Then I thought, he's doing that on purpose because he's an evil sock genius. Now I don't know. But I do know that either way, you're full of shit.

TM

[soup sandwich]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Never reveal the real number. Your bf/gf doesn't really want to know. It will come back to haunt you. The number is either higher or lower and can be used out of context in a future argument about nothing (e.g. well you're the ho who slept with 20 guys or how would you know, you've only been with 2 guys).

Why is this such a big deal? I've always revealed/requested the number. There's never been any repercussions. To have your number thrown at you with any effect implies that there's something wrong with your number, and how can that be? To be elusive about divulging it would imply to me that you are ashamed of something. Shame is not attractive.

In a way, maybe divulging the number is a good thing because the other person's reaction to it lets you know up front if the other person is insecure or not.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by evenodds
Our weekend plans involved a discussion over dinner and coffee (coffee?!!!) about how much of your sexual history you disclose to a new partner.

So at the start of a relationship, do you reveal the number -- and do you tell the truth?

I'd be kind of general about it, so it's not that huge of a deal if it looks like I've been around the block. Specifics? Only if it's necessary. "Yes, honey, I'm sure I've tried pretty much everything that can be done with ice and I'm pretty sure that it's lost its novelty."

At any rate, due to a variety of substances and a series of weekends that sort of run together, I'm not exactly sure what the number is. There are a few names that I wouldn't be able to recall at gunpoint.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Which reminds me of Catholic school girl outfits on Halloween...

The best costume. Ever.

Anyone else remember the L&O episode about a college girl who got gang-raped while other guys watched through a peephole? She was wearing a Catholic schoolgirl outfit. I think that ruined it for me.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by evenodds
The OM and I exchanged numbers. He was a man-ho.

The Mr. and I exchanged numbers. He had about twice as many as I did, which, based on random polling of friends who have also coughed up the number, seems to be about what (men, anyway) wanted to hear. Unless the men are total sluts, I guess.

But in general, I agree one shouldn't ask unless it is required for the testing questionaire. Significant past relationships merit mention, if only so one isn't taken by surprise when you run into the person, but sheer numbers of casual bangs? Definitely not.

I got majorly squicked out by a guy I dated who at the age of 19 revealed a past littered with over 50 conquests (he wasn't too sure about the numbers). I responded "um, you would make 4." I really didn't want to know. Not least 'cause, when a guy is 19, he should have been focusing on his performance technique (not just his powers of persuasion), which requires feedback from repeat players over time, so that really just represents a lot of bad sex and a general waste of time and effort.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Anyone else remember the L&O episode about a college girl who got gang-raped while other guys watched through a peephole? She was wearing a Catholic schoolgirl outfit. I think that ruined it for me.

Sam Watterson ruined L&O for me. Of course, anyone who followed in Ben Stone's footsteps was doomed from the start. God I loved his arrogance.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
Mary Janes technically strap over the instep, not the ankle, even if they do so high up. Something wrapping even once around the ankle is iffy, even if the shoe has a real back to it, when the strap comes from the back of the heel rather than the sides of the shoe (though sometimes a wider, lower heel, a lot of coverage and/or a T-strap can take the curse off).

I've heard of the "slingbacks = slut" thing, too, but I have to admit I've never seen it in action. But then I'm not in midtown; midtown is notoriously frumpy, and half of my suits would probably be considered slutty there just because the jackets are not cut straight from shoulders to hips but instead go in at the waist. I've definitely heard of "open toes/mules/no hose = slut" edicts, but I've never heard of anyone actually getting nabbed on the hose thing, if only because that would involve a partner commenting on a female associate's undergarments, which most of them are too smart to do.

At my firm, those who get nabbed typically are called by the HR people. As long as we are doing business casual, most non-flip flop sandals are considered ok. I think we'll be going back to business attire soon though. Then it will be back to closed-toe shoes I'm sure. That really sucks in Dallas.

Originally posted by purse junkie
She always looks like she mates then kills. That, and I would take that make-out session with her brother (not to mention her voluntarily having had sex with Billy Bob) as a serious, serious warning sign.

I can't believe I am both thinking this and admitting this, but I saw Billy Bob on Inside the Actors Stuido, and for the frst time ever, I could see his appeal. I was shocked myself.

And I hear he is hung.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
The Mr. and I exchanged numbers. He had about twice as many as I did, which, based on random polling of friends who have also coughed up the number, seems to be about what (men, anyway) wanted to hear. Unless the men are total sluts, I guess.

But in general, I agree one shouldn't ask unless it is required for the testing questionaire. Significant past relationships merit mention, if only so one isn't taken by surprise when you run into the person, but sheer numbers of casual bangs? Definitely not.

I got majorly squicked out by a guy I dated who at the age of 19 revealed a past littered with over 50 conquests (he wasn't too sure about the numbers). I responded "um, you would make 4." I really didn't want to know. Not least 'cause, when a guy is 19, he should have been focusing on his performance technique (not just his powers of persuasion), which requires feedback from repeat players over time, so that really just represents a lot of bad sex and a general waste of time and effort.

As a guy, at what number do you start lying towards less conquests? If it's 50, do you say 15?

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I'd be kind of general about it, so it's not that huge of a deal if it looks like I've been around the block. Specifics? Only if it's necessary. "Yes, honey, I'm sure I've tried pretty much everything that can be done with ice and I'm pretty sure that it's lost its novelty."

At any rate, due to a variety of substances and a series of weekends that sort of run together, I'm not exactly sure what the number is. There are a few names that I wouldn't be able to recall at gunpoint.

Am I the only person here who has absolutelyu no idea what her number is? Who keeps track of these things? Seems kinda OCD.

COuld be fifteen, could be fifty, I have no clue.

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by evenodds
So at the start of a relationship, do you reveal the number -- and do you tell the truth?

Not right at the start, I am not sure I think it is an appropriate question, except as someone noted, along the lines of I'm kind of inexperienced and have never done X before. But I am not sure that requires you to tell how many. I think it does come up sooner or later, and I'd rather it be truthful.

I have no problem with telling the amount I've been with but it seems to surprise people and then they seem to get scared they'll hurt me or something. (Obviously this means I am on the less experienced side.) They are also afraid to tell me they've been with 30 people or however many, since they fear I'll judge them.

I don't care if someone has been with 30 people, I care if someone believes they have (in their 30s) seriously dated 30 people. Cause damn, you can't commit if you think you seriously dated 30 people in approximately 10-15 years. That is more likely to make me run screaming for the hills than the fact you had sex with a lot of people. Who cares. Hopefully that just means you are better in bed.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I'd be kind of general about it, so it's not that huge of a deal if it looks like I've been around the block. Specifics? Only if it's necessary. "Yes, honey, I'm sure I've tried pretty much everything that can be done with ice and I'm pretty sure that it's lost its novelty."

At any rate, due to a variety of substances and a series of weekends that sort of run together, I'm not exactly sure what the number is. There are a few names that I wouldn't be able to recall at gunpoint.

Yeah, in figuring it out this morning, I realized I am slightly fuzzy on the old college days. I can pinpoint the number with a 2-3 margin of error. I could tell you first names for all but one (my one and only true two night stand -- hook-up, followed by "date" the next night). Many of the last names are long gone.

I'm pretty sure that my number is higher than the SO's. I'm also pretty sure that he has generally gathered that. We just feel no need to discuss specifics.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
The Mr. and I exchanged numbers. He had about twice as many as I did, which, based on random polling of friends who have also coughed up the number, seems to be about what (men, anyway) wanted to hear. Unless the men are total sluts, I guess.

But in general, I agree one shouldn't ask unless it is required for the testing questionaire. Significant past relationships merit mention, if only so one isn't taken by surprise when you run into the person, but sheer numbers of casual bangs? Definitely not.

I got majorly squicked out by a guy I dated who at the age of 19 revealed a past littered with over 50 conquests (he wasn't too sure about the numbers). I responded "um, you would make 4." I really didn't want to know. Not least 'cause, when a guy is 19, he should have been focusing on his performance technique (not just his powers of persuasion), which requires feedback from repeat players over time, so that really just represents a lot of bad sex and a general waste of time and effort.

I don't understand the guy-wanting-number-about-twice-as-high. If they really only consider a female "OK" if she has 1/2 the number of partners he has, then probably at least 1/2 the women he's been with are icky. And what do the women who have been with all these guys do?

I vote, get him to tell first and then use the real number (if it's half or less) or about half (if the real number is more than half). Any jackass who's going to be offended that I have approaching the number of sexual partners he has had deserves to be lied to.

(Actually, I'd probably tell the real number and if he can't deal, it wasn't going to work out anyway.)

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
As a guy, at what number do you start lying towards less conquests? If it's 50, do you say 15?

That would depend on whatever lie the woman is intending to tell you. For example, if she plans to tell you she's been with 10, then 15 would be about right.