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07-14-2003, 06:38 PM
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#13366
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Flyover land
Posts: 19,042
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Weekend stuff -- the Number
Quote:
Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Stop hitting on me. I will give you no money for your crack habit.
TM
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You, I do for the sheer pleasure of bringing you pleasure. It's a natural high.
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07-14-2003, 06:38 PM
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#13367
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Puck You
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Surrounded by idiots and assholes.
Posts: 1,076
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who were you?
Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere
Wow, that is so you.
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I just looked in the hallway and out all of my windows to make sure you aren't here watching me.
Thrashers(actually, my one indulgence is a kick-ass high-powered convertible sports car but yes I am trying to pay off the house in the next few years and I also own an 8 year old car but that is for rainy days)Fan
__________________
When you say Budweiser you've said it all.
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07-14-2003, 06:39 PM
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#13368
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prodigal poster
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: gate 27
Posts: 2,710
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who were you?
Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere
oral sex is not sex. No matter whose rules you use.
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Oral sex is not sex for purposes of "the number."
Oral sex is sex if you are my SO and you let some skanky chick blow you at a club.
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07-14-2003, 06:40 PM
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#13369
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Monty Capuletti's gazebo
Posts: 26,203
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Weekend stuff -- the Number
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
One, do you honestly think it's not possible to get STDs from oral sex? That would explain all those "cold sores."
Two, under my system, if I went down on someone and s/he didn't reciprocate, s/he had sex but I did not. If someone goes down on me, and I don't reciprocate, I had sex and s/he didn't.
Not that I'm saying my system should be used. It's pointless in any event because apparently everyone lies.
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No, your system isn't pointless. Its reckless. If folks start playing with the definition of sex, the already confusing dating pool will get even more confusing.
Imagine if guys were able to tell people they had sex with women based on hand jobs or blow jobs. That's a disastrous recipe for semantic abuse where none is needed because guys already lie about their sexual lives.
And how in the hell can two people hook up but only one have sex? You're turning logic and simple rules of the english language on their ear.
S(obviously, I'm doing this tongue in cheek, so don't take offense - I just find this a pretty amusing topic)D
__________________
All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds.
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07-14-2003, 06:44 PM
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#13370
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Puck You
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Surrounded by idiots and assholes.
Posts: 1,076
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who were you?
Quote:
Originally posted by evenodds
Oral sex is not sex for purposes of "the number."
Oral sex is sex if you are my SO and you let some skanky chick blow you at a club.
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Nothing qualifies as sex unless you are completely sober, know the full name of your partner(s), have a good chance of ever seeing your partner(s) again in public AND someone other than your partner(s) in the act witnessed said act in its entirety. I am not a ho.
Edited to note that my son is the product of immaculate conception and I don't just mean that the kitchen floor was spotless at the time.
__________________
When you say Budweiser you've said it all.
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07-14-2003, 06:44 PM
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#13371
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 217
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Weekend stuff -- the Number
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Blow jobs are simply not sex.
Bill Clinton was correct in differentiating oral sex from sex. They are worlds apart for two very obvious logical reasons.
One, you can get pregnant or diseased from one, but not the other.
Two, you cannot in good conscience say "I slept with [x]" if all you did was go down on him/her.
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To quote Kelly Bundy: "The mind wobbles."
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07-14-2003, 06:44 PM
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#13372
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Genius Known As ABBAKiss
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Wonderland
Posts: 3,540
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who were you?
I can see the male part, but the "excellent self control" really throws me.
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I do not know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.
You were born somewhere around the territory of modern Egypt approximately in 700.
Your profession was builder of houses, temples, cathedrals.
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Your brief psychological profile in that past life:
Ruthless character, carefully weighing his decisions in critical situations, with excellent self-control and strong will. Such people are generally liked, but not always loved.
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Lesson, that your last past life brought to present:
Your lesson -- to combat violence and disharmony in our world, to understand its roots and origins. All global problems have similar origins.
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07-14-2003, 06:45 PM
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#13373
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I am beyond a rank!
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: A pool of my own vomit
Posts: 734
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who were you?
This explains a lot about me and could be potentially outable.
I do not know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.
You were born somewhere around the territory of modern Central Russia approximately in 1800.
Your profession was dramatist, director, musician, bard.
Your brief psychological profile in that past life:
You were sane practical person, materialist with no spiritual consciousness. Your simple wisdom helped weaker and poor.
Lesson, that your last past life brought to present:
Your lesson -- to conquer jealousy and anger in yourself and then in those, who will select you as their guide. You should understand that these weaknesses are caused by fear and self-regret.
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07-14-2003, 06:46 PM
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#13374
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Puck You
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Surrounded by idiots and assholes.
Posts: 1,076
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who were you?
Fuck
__________________
When you say Budweiser you've said it all.
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07-14-2003, 06:46 PM
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#13375
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Genius Known As ABBAKiss
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Wonderland
Posts: 3,540
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who were you?
Quote:
Originally posted by ThrashersFan
Nothing qualifies as sex unless you are completely sober, know the full name of your partner(s), have a good chance of ever seeing your partner(s) again in public AND someone other than your partner(s) in the act witnessed said act in its entirety. I am not a ho.
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Did I read this correctly? It's only sex if there are voyeurs who like to stick around for the long haul?
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07-14-2003, 06:47 PM
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#13376
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Monty Capuletti's gazebo
Posts: 26,203
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who were you?
Quote:
Originally posted by evenodds
Oral sex is not sex for purposes of "the number."
Oral sex is sex if you are my SO and you let some skanky chick blow you at a club.
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This leads to the another question... If one gets a hand job in an massage parlor (known in slang as a "washie washie" or "happy ending"), is that cheating?
A friend swears it isn't - I say he's taking a holiday from logic because in my book, that's cheating.
S(why anyone gets a hummer from a stripper or a hand job from a massage girl amazes me - seems like soooo much risk for so little payoff)D
__________________
All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds.
Last edited by sebastian_dangerfield; 07-15-2003 at 09:58 AM..
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07-14-2003, 06:48 PM
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#13377
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Puck You
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Surrounded by idiots and assholes.
Posts: 1,076
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who were you?
Quote:
Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Did I read this correctly? It's only sex if there are voyeurs who like to stick around for the long haul?
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Yep, that would be my personal rule. I have a virginal reputation to maintain you know.
__________________
When you say Budweiser you've said it all.
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07-14-2003, 06:48 PM
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#13378
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Flyover land
Posts: 19,042
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who were you?
Quote:
Originally posted by ThrashersFan
Nothing qualifies as sex unless you are completely sober, know the full name of your partner(s), have a good chance of ever seeing your partner(s) again in public AND someone other than your partner(s) in the act witnessed said act in its entirety. I am not a ho.
Edited to note that my son is the product of immaculate conception and I don't just mean that the kitchen floor was spotless at the time.
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Huh -- that last requirement makes me, to my knowledge, a virgin. The waves of purity washing over me are quite refreshing.
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07-14-2003, 06:50 PM
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#13379
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Puck You
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Surrounded by idiots and assholes.
Posts: 1,076
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who were you?
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
This leads to the another question... If one gets a hand job in an massage parlor (known in slang as a "washie washie" or "happy ending"), is that sex?
A friend swears it isn't - I say he's taking a holiday from logic because in my book, that's cheating.
S(why anyone gets a hummer from a stripper or a hand job from a massage girl amazes me - seems like soooo much risk for so little payoff)D
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Would your friend feel the same way if his wife/girlfriend got her oil checked by a dude with long fingers at a massage parlor?
__________________
When you say Budweiser you've said it all.
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07-14-2003, 06:51 PM
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#13380
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Pop goes the chupacabra
Posts: 18,532
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who were you?
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
This leads to the another question... If one gets a hand job in an massage parlor (known in slang as a "washie washie" or "happy ending"), is that sex?
A friend swears it isn't - I say he's taking a holiday from logic because in my book, that's cheating.
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Well, when the cops bust the place, and him, for prostitution, I'm guessing the "it wasn't sex" defense isn't going to fly. Unless you're defending him:
"Your honor, this man could not possibly get an STD from that woman. So it's not sex."
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