Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03 - 10-3-03

[bilmore]

Originally posted by dealtoy
My marriage in on a runaway train about to crash.

Oh, fuck you.

You got all our advice last time. Now, you've spent a year telling her you want a divorce, but aren't sure?!?

No fucking wonder she wants you to shit or get off the pot. Nobody, guilty or not, can live through that. You spent all that time extracting from her the price for your hurt, and now you wonder why she's no longer trying? Big mystery.

You can't collect on a debt long past when it's paid. You tried, and now you're owed nothing, and she's tired of it.

[Jack Manfred]

Confidential to paigow... if you think your number could be either 15 or 50, it's damn near 70. Just ask Chris Rock.

Confidential to str8... I concur with your choice of Neko for your laminated list. Midway through her set with the New Pornographers at Bimbo's, Ms. Case ascended to laminated status for me as she began to wiggle her hips while singing.

On a related topic, if Ed Norton no longer wants Salma Hayek, this still means I have no shot with her, right? That's what I thought.

The problem with the whole laminated list is that it presupposes a correlation between physical beauty and sexual prowess. Take, for example, a name that has been bandied about on several laminated lists here: the (overrated) Jennfier Garner. She has high cheekbones and a tight body. But can we assume that a Texas-born woman, just entering her thirties and just exiting what was formerly a storybook marriage, will be good in the sack? OK, perhaps she was a bad example.

What I mean to say is that I'm sure there are many people who are sexually desirable but who aren't sexually skilled. This conundrum still doesn't explain DebtSlave's list, but it might explain why many men would set aside the squick factor and laminate pornstars (not that the pornstars haven't been laminated before).

I shouldn't read/post after late nights, I misread the banter between leagl and bi-berry and thought "watering my fern" was actually "watering my fem." These are, I think, entirely different activities.

Originally posted by dealtoy
My marriage in on a runaway train about to crash. W/out getting into all of the details. My wife and I had been talking about divorce for the past year, and I had been thinking about it for much longer. A few weeks back, she told me that she couldn't take this divorce talk anymore and that I should just tell her when and if I wanted a divorce, but she didn't want to hear about it anymore. She also told me that if I wasn't committed to her she was going to change the kids summer plans...., etc. I was to weak to be completely honest and I kind of let her on that I thought things were getting better. (my bad)

Meanwhile, I am miserable and becoming more and more convinced that I need to end this, and she is becoming more and more convinced that she wants another child. I have tried to gently move her away from the child issue in order to buy a little more time for us to figure out what's going on, but she has been putting a lot of pressure on. (before you comment on this -- I am not going to have another child with her so no need to tell me not to).

To make a long story short, she got her period a few days ago and decided that now was the time to have the kid. We were scheduled to visit my son in camp this past sunday and I was afraid of her anger and how it would affect our plans so I didn't argue with her. She called me this morning to tell me that she talked to an OB/GYN and that she was going to switch from Celexa to Prozac and going to go off her birth control tonight and that she wanted to go out to dinner to celebrate that we are going to have a new baby.

I can't continue living this lie and I have to tell her that I am miserable and I want a divorce.

Do I agree to go to dinner with her?
Do I tell her I have to work late and come home and talk to her?
Do I try to get into our couples therapist tomorrow for a session and try to stall her for a day?

What if she wants to leave tonight with my 4 year old? Do I try to stop her?

My other two are away in camp. I thought I could keep this together until they were back in school, but that isn't happening.

I spoke to my therapist and he said it sounds like I am sure. I don't feel sure. He also said that he thinks I tried hard. I wonder about that.

This is so hard, and I am so petrified.

She is going to be angry and say that I tricked her.
She is going to be crying and devestated and say that I ruined her life.

My kids are going to be upset that this happened while they were away.
They are going to feel betrayed.

I am so frightened, but so tired of this deception.

And then I question myself, maybe I should be trying. But then I tell myself I have tried for so long and can't see how this could ever get better.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Obviously you need a divorce. This fact was evidenced from your long ago tendency to email and hit on all the chicks (I know of several), which is not appropriate married man behavior (sorry Wonk). She is gonna go psycho and get all vengeful and she will get herself pregnant whether you like it or not. This wil be worse for your kids.

[evenodds]

Yesterday's stage into Gap was the best and worst stage I have ever seen.

I am saddened by Beloki's accident and I hope that he will be able to recover from his injuries in time for the Vuelta or the Worlds. He had made the race incredibly exciting and he was on his best form.

Clearly, this is the most competitive Tour we've seen since Lance began winning in '99. Every stage is in doubt and the attacks have come hard and fast.

Here is a link to yesterday's stage, along with the incredibly dramatic photo of Armstrong racing through a field:

http://www.nytimes.com/2003/07/14/sp...D-TOUR.html?hp

[MisterEbola]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Obviously you need a divorce. This fact was evidenced from your long ago tendency to email and hit on all the chicks (I know of several), which is not appropriate married man behavior (sorry Wonk). She is gonna go psycho and get all vengeful and she will get herself pregnant whether you like it or not. This wil be worse for your kids.

So quick with the responses....

How many of the advice givers here are actually married???

Marriage and the kids are tough things to dispense with. Not the same as a three-week fling.

[leagleaze]

http://www.nytimes.com/2003/07/13/bu...116749bb122894

"Corporate executives are becoming increasingly aggressive about spying on their employees, and with good reason: now, in addition to job shirkers and office-supply thieves, they have to worry about being held accountable for the misconduct of their subordinates."

But on a positive note http://news.com.com/2100-1019-1023934.html?tag=nl (Story about walmart doing away with its wireless inventory control system.)

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by evenodds
Yesterday's stage into Gap was the best and worst stage I have ever seen.

I am saddened by Beloki's accident and I hope that he will be able to recover from his injuries in time for the Vuelta or the Worlds. He had made the race incredibly exciting and he was on his best form.

In other cycling news, Pantani, gone from cycling since his team drug bust a few years back, has been spotted back in the saddle. No word on whether it was serious training or just pulling himself out of his depression.

Beloki's accident was gasp-inducing to watch. Vinokourov has been busting his ass all season for Kivilev's sake since Kivilev was killed this spring and I am so delighted he won the stage for them both.

Originally posted by MisterEbola
So quick with the responses....

How many of the advice givers here are actually married???

Marriage and the kids are tough things to dispense with. Not the same as a three-week fling.

No shit. Lets see. Been thinking about escape since 2001, hits on cyberchicks, has a wife who is switching her meds around and is threatending pregnancy all the while saying "divorce me or dont already" (she doesnt sound real stable). this is a nobody is happy situation. My only question is why are they still fucking? Talk about your mixed messages. THis marriage sounds like it will end (if my husband has been to internet chat board over a two or three year period asking whether to divorce me and was aslo putting the moves on paigows and sunny bunnys, I would not be too happy).

Haysuess Chreest

[MisterEbola]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
No shit. Lets see. Been thinking about escape since 2001, hits on cyberchicks, has a wife who is switching her meds around and is threatending pregnancy all the while saying "divorce me or dont already" (she doesnt sound real stable). this is a nobody is happy situation. My only question is why are they still fucking? Talk about your mixed messages. THis marriage sounds like it will end (if my husband has been to internet chat board over a two or three year period asking whether to divorce me and was aslo putting the moves on paigows and sunny bunnys, I would not be too happy).

Haysuess Chreest

I think that most every husband/wife will have episodes where they fling with other folks - the salient factor there seems to be that the has apparently never acted upon his daliances.

My wife was also on medication, but she completely stopped when she felt that the medication was doing more harm than good. She has not looked back.

As to women and children, its hard to argue that the wife is thinking about kids as a trap. There are plenty of mothers out there who love children and get the I-want-a-baby buzz at the most strange of times. Such was the case with my wife. We went to the Caribbean and were having the time of our lives. Never thought about kids. In fact, our eyes would roll whenever we saw parents walking down the aisle of an airplane with their rugrats in tow. Guess what? Three months later, my wife was walking up and down the hallway of the house muttering "baby, baby." I'd be working on the computer in the home office when I'd be tapped on the shoulder. I turn around and see my starry-eyed wife saying "Baby?"

"Talk about your mixed messages" is correct. So, don't immediately kill the issue; go see a therapist.

[leagleaze]

What you don't know Mr. E, but those of us who have been around do, is that this has been going on a long while and there is a lot more to it.

You are assuming immediacy but this thing has been going on for what 2 or 3 years now I think. If you go back to the old board you'll find different answers the first time around from a lot of people. But that knowledge coupled with the post of yesterday is what has people telling him to pack it in already.

So in this particular case, suggesting he just go on back to therapy and try to stick it out really isn't terribly good advice, imho. I believe therapy can do a lot of good, but there does come a time when you simply have to say enough is enough. Personally, I think trying for two years is enough.

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by Jack Manfred
But can we assume that a Texas-born woman, just entering her thirties and just exiting what was formerly a storybook marriage, will be good in the sack?

Yes. That's a good assumption. You're just going to have to take my word for it.

[MisterEbola]

Originally posted by leagleaze
You are assuming immediacy but this thing has been going on for what 2 or 3 years now I think. If you go back to the old board you'll find different answers the first time around from a lot of people. But that knowledge coupled with the post of yesterday is what has people telling him to pack it in already.

I'm fully aware of the duration - as noted in the subject line of the original post. However, given that he's STILL posting messages on this issue two years later leads me to believe that there is still significant ambivilence in the poster - especially with respect to the kiddies.

Originally posted by MisterEbola
I'm fully aware of the duration - as noted in the subject line of the original post. However, given that he's STILL posting messages on this issue two years later leads me to believe that there is still significant ambivilence in the poster - especially with respect to the kiddies.

Duh. THe kiddies are the whole reason he may stay in which is bullshit if they pick up bad vibes betweenthe parents. Better to get divorced early before they are tempertamental teens. And before the crazy wife gets herself knocked up for the fourth time (your little 'baby baby" story reminded me of Tourist Trap, a classic horror flick). If she is asking him to say Yay or Nay on a divorce, NOW is not the time to go off the pills, right?

and in other more important dilemmas, Queer Eye for the Straight GUy is on at the same time as What Not To Wear. Two brilliantly catty funny shows, on at the same time. The only two I watch. I may have to get that fucking tivo after all, even if it means I am admitting that I watch so much tv that I have to pay another six hundred for it and have another complicated electronic device in the house. What does it say about me that I am willing to consider paying even more dinero to watch the lives of others. Just sad.

[MisterEbola]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Duh. THe kiddies are the whole reason he may stay in which is bullshit if they pick up bad vibes betweenthe parents. Better to get divorced early before they are tempertamental teens. And before the crazy wife gets herself knocked up for the fourth time (your little 'baby baby" story reminded me of Tourist Trap, a classic horror flick). If she is asking him to say Yay or Nay on a divorce, NOW is not the time to go off the pills, right?

I haven't noticed that kiddies of single parents doing significantly better than married and sometimes unhappy parents. The issue of the fights over custody also do numbers.

Oh well, an all around tough situation.

[evenodds]

Originally posted by purse junkie
In other cycling news, Pantani, gone from cycling since his team drug bust a few years back, has been spotted back in the saddle. No word on whether it was serious training or just pulling himself out of his depression.

Beloki's accident was gasp-inducing to watch. Vinokourov has been busting his ass all season for Kivilev's sake since Kivilev was killed this spring and I am so delighted he won the stage for them both.

I would think Pantani is prepping for the Vuelta. Il Pirata raced in this year's giro (and last year's). While he sucked last year, he rode beautifully in the mountains and his team put tremendous pressure on Cipo's Domina team on the early flat stages.

Vino is certainly on the best form of his life and he is a serious threat. Does anyone know how well he time trials?