Fashion Board 1-08-04 through 02-03-04

[evenodds]

Originally posted by purse junkie
When you won't reasonably be hurt if your friend takes a shot with your ex. It's up to the friend to ask you/be sensitive to your individual timetable.

LAGF though sounds like he's hallucinating. There's no SOL needed in the case of irrational self-delusion.

That was my thought, as well.

The OddMan's take is that it is never okay to take a shot at an ex -- whether an actual ex or a "she's mine all mine or at least someday will be" ex.

But then as I said, my friends are incestuous.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Fugee
I have seen guy friends with extremely hot women not their SOs when they were supposed to be out of town with "friends." But as I did not know the SO, I kept it to myself as it was none of my business.

Probably wise.

Originally posted by Fugee
I don't understand how any meeting with an ex could be so important as to do it without telling your SO. There is a reason you aren't with the ex anymore. I have old exes that I wouldn't mind catching up with but the desire to do so is now worth upsetting a current SO. I'm not sure how this makes me more likely to be lied to.

The big fight (if the SO finds out you lied about meeting up with the ex) will end, but there will be a crack in the relationship that may not be quickly or easily mended.

So why do it? What about the ex makes it worth lying about, much less risking hurting your SO?

Because it isn't necessary to completely cut yourself off from your past just because you're now with someone else. Because if you are quite sure that it will be harmless, but won't be perceived as harmless, there is no point in giving yourself the headache. Because if you're actually friends with the ex, they deserve more than to be completely cut off. And yez, no SO deserves to be lied to, but if nothing is going to happen, they don't need to be told.

TM

[bilmore]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
. . . but if nothing is going to happen, they don't need to be told.

I think the essential disagreement between camps here is, you shouldn't be making that choice for her. The burden is on you to convince her that nothing is going to happen. Coincidently, that's a lot easier to do before you ever get caught the first time lying about an innocent meet.

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Why it's ok not to tell

It is easier to say you want to meet with an ex and nothing is going on, so no worries, before you meet with the ex. If you have to give the same explanation after, the present s/o isn't going to believe you, s/he has no reason to and has every reason not to.

Most of my gf's have been friends with their exes. I've hung out with them and their exes. So I just don't see what the big deal is. Yes, I will want some information about how the relationship ended and whether there are still any romantic feelings there. But otherwise, who cares?

If you have an s/o who cannot handle you going out for a harmless drink with a harmless ex, that in itself is an issue that needs to be addressed. Because you are right, there is absolutely no reason to end a friendship with someone just because s/he is an ex.

There are all sorts of headaches in relationships, it is much better to deal with them before they become migraines.

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
And yez, no SO deserves to be lied to, but if nothing is going to happen, they don't need to be told.

TM

If you withhold info, you look like a liar with a reason to hide info anyway, even if you've actually done nothing wrong. Might as well just stagger in at 2am either freshly showered or covered in lip gloss.

And most guys in particular are too dim on emotional matters to lie convincingly about this sort of thing anyway.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by leagleaze
be nice in relationships

I once heard someone say the way to evaluate whether seeing someone merited the risk of being caught was the Victoria Principal principle. That is, is she so attractive that any risk would be worth the reward (I know the hypo wasn't actually cheating)?
VP wasn't THE hottest TV star back in the day, but she was very very attractive.
So anyway, I went to IMDB to check spelling, and this is her publicity photo!!!

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000595/

The women currently is pushing a line of skin care products. Her skin care products do not seem to have helped her.



Edited to provide link. You cannot show pictures from imdb. L

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by evenodds
How long after the end of a dating relationship before your friend take a shot with your ex?

I have an extremely incestuous group of friends. Well, we didn't realize how incestuous until last night . . . also known as one of the funniest nights of my life.

Two of my friends (previously discussed here as extremely hot musician and very attractive rich guy) are meeting up with (1) an ex-girlfriend of EHM and a group of her friends, and (2) a woman VARG is now dating and a group of her friends. Yeah, I know it's the same woman several hours before the meeting, but who am I to say anything. EHM calls to say, uh, new girl (that is hot girl #2) is also coming, but I don't want to get involved with her, though she wants me, I think VARG should date her. These two, who met through me only weeks ago, are able to talk to both of these women and each other without any difficulty. If anything, now they are boys.

While all of this is going on, the ex-hook-up of my least attractive guy friend [who I also didn't date] is a hot woman (#3) we all like very much. They hooked up months ago, but upon meeting her, lagf decides that this is the woman for him so he has pursued her ardently for months though he has been constantly rebuffed.

So, my ex takes #3 out on the dance floor. LAGF sees them, freaks out, and starts gesturing wildly back in vip where the rest of us are hanging out. My ex #2 grabs LAGF and cuffs him. I head downstairs to check out the goings on and see them a little closer than absolutely necessary.

LAGF freaks out that his best friend is hitting on "his girlfriend."

So, what's the statute of limitations?

Wait. Let me finish diagramming this out, and I'll get back to you.

Jeezus, this is like a friggin LSAT question.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
After reading all this, all I can say is that men underestimate a woman's ability to understand or cope...

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I started seeing a guy and then found out that he was VERY into all of his exes hanging out together and becoming friends. I thought that was nuts and dumped him.

I can't imagine that you will ever find a guy who will be able to understand what is right as you see it in that cracked head of yours.

TM

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Threesome and a single or the natural hat trick?

Bonus points for both.

I have done the natural hat trick, and I get bonus points because it involved over 300 miles of travelling within the 24 hour span.

Never had threesome. Guess I never will. Life is cruel.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Both of my SOs ended up spending a material amount of time at their exes houses for two different reasons both exes were an airplane's flight away from me. I dont think it matters.

Both of your SOs had hot, material sex with their exes and lied to you about it.

TM

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by spookyfish
Wait. Let me finish diagramming this out, and I'll get back to you.

Jeezus, this is like a friggin LSAT question.

No shit. I thinkit becomes easier if you realize the first paragraph about EHM and VARG are there to distract from the pugilists and call attention to E/O's ability to date, and then dump, desireable men.

But shit, maybe all the guys are just the oddman, who keeps hooking up with E/O in some weird ex-sex fantasy/role play deal.

We, indeed.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Skeks in the city
Sebby



Oh really?

Sometimes clients want a memo to cover their ass, so they have evidence you gave them some advice or other about litigation or a deal. If someone's asking for you or your superior's view on the legal consequences of something, and your analysis requires diligence, your insurance carrier might like you to keep some records of that. If you tell the client there's a serious legal risk in doing something or there potentially is pending further legal or factual diligence or restructuring the deal or the approach to the litigation, your insurance carrier might like some records of that.

I give that shit to one of the kids who enjoys the library. You think I'm going to do that research? Get real. I'm on the ohone half the day and in court all the time.* You want a CYA letter? Talk to the nerd who writes our opinion letters. I'm just the mouthpiece who writes briefs and goes to Court.

* Excpet, obviously, the last three days...

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
No shit. I thinkit becomes easier if you realize the first paragraph about EHM and VARG are there to distract from the pugilists and call attention to E/O's ability to date, and then dump, desireable men.

But shit, maybe all the guys are just the oddman, who keeps hooking up with E/O in some weird ex-sex fantasy/role play deal.

We, indeed.

I figured I would need at least four more depth charges before I could make sense of all the acronyms.

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
But the original hypo was a night out drinking for several hours. Not catch-up; fun. For this not to be likely to turn sexual would require a friendship I certainly don't have with any ex, but maybe someone does. If I did want to go out drinking all night with an ex that would be a hard thing to sell the wife.

I've been thinking about this the same way: I try not to do anything (SO related or otherwise) that I wouldn't want to do with my wife present (whether she is actually there or not). This reality check goes a long way. Since getting married, I have gone out for I night on the town with a particular SO a few times - but the baltspouse has come along at least half the time, and they are now good friends (it doesn't hurt that the SO is so obviously in love with her husband that baltspouse doesn't feel threatened).

The beginning of the end of my first marriage was more or less one of these lying incidents, although more of a misunderstanding. A co-worker at a new job went by a shortened version of her name that sounded male (lets call her Alex). I mentioned this fact to my wife the first couple of days there, but apparently it didn't sink in. Over the next couple of months, Alex and I would go grab lunch together a couple of times a week, as we were the two interns in the office. COMPLETELY platonic. I would mention to my wife occassionally something that "Alex" had said - a joke or whatever. Then my wife met Alexandra at a party, and went ballistic about how I was hiding from her the fact Alex was a woman, and so I must be cheating on her, etc. The marriage didn't end there, but I think the writing was on the wall at that point. Saddest part was that not only did I not cheat, I didn't even intentionally lie (which I think made it a really good lie, in the sense I couldn't be showing guilt, because I had none).

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by leagleaze
There are all sorts of headaches in relationships, it is much better to deal with them before they become migraines.

Some people apparently prefer trepanation.