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12-16-2004, 04:43 PM
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#1336
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Flyover land
Posts: 19,042
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Music recs for 13 year old nephew
Quote:
Originally posted by lookingformarket
No offense, but unless he had your jaws locked open and was pouring in the booze, it wasn't his fault. Have some responsibility people.
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Does holding me up and pouring tequila down my throat count? Because that has happened to me.
The guy I ended up fucking* was hung like a HORSE but the parts that I remember would have been more fun if I hadn't been so sick.
*He did not assist in pouring the tequila down my throat.
RP, I'm hoping this guy you are trying to trap into marriage has some big bucks.
__________________
I'm using lipstick again.
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12-16-2004, 04:50 PM
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#1337
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[intentionally omitted]
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: NYC
Posts: 18,597
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Music recs for 13 year old nephew
Quote:
Originally posted by robustpuppy
God, when am I going to get my period?
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Tomorrow.
TM |
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12-16-2004, 04:50 PM
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#1338
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I am beyond a rank!
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 301
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Music recs for 13 year old nephew
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
The guy I ended up fucking was hung like a HORSE but the parts that I remember would have been more fun if I hadn't been so sick.
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Just so you know, the "guy" was a horse and you can buy the video if you want to remember more of it. |
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12-16-2004, 04:54 PM
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#1339
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Throwing a kettle over a pub
Posts: 14,743
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Music recs for 13 year old nephew
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
RP, I'm hoping this guy you are trying to trap into marriage has some big bucks.
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Nope. I'm broke.
__________________
No no no, that's not gonna help. That's not gonna help and I'll tell you why: It doesn't unbang your Mom.
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12-16-2004, 04:55 PM
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#1340
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[intentionally omitted]
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: NYC
Posts: 18,597
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Music recs for 13 year old nephew
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
The guy I ended up fucking* was hung like a HORSE but the parts that I remember would have been more fun if I hadn't been so sick.
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You really don't remember do you? Why do you think you woke up in a barn with some saddle soap and some sugar cubes up your ass?
TM
PS - dtb had to pay her barn manager extra to keep it quiet. |
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12-16-2004, 04:55 PM
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#1341
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Genius Known As ABBAKiss
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Wonderland
Posts: 3,540
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Music recs for 13 year old nephew
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Please God, don't let me be pregnant.
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Start jumping up and down and take a bath. That will help lessen your chances. Also, next time try ass sex. Double benefits - no risk of pregnancy AND you can still claim virgin status. |
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12-16-2004, 04:56 PM
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#1342
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: State of Chaos
Posts: 8,197
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Horsefeathers
Quote:
Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Start jumping up and down and take a bath. That will help lessen your chances. Also, next time try ass sex. Double benefits - no risk of pregnancy AND you can still claim virgin status.
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You forgot to recommend horseback riding. |
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12-16-2004, 04:57 PM
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#1343
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Random Syndicate (admin)
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Romantically enfranchised
Posts: 14,276
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Music recs for 13 year old nephew
Quote:
Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Start jumping up and down and take a bath. That will help lessen your chances. Also, next time try ass sex. Double benefits - no risk of pregnancy AND you can still claim virgin status.
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That sounds suspiciously like supposed hiccup, jet lag and hangover cures. None of them work but they offer great amusement to the people watching/giving advice.
__________________
"In the olden days before the internet, you'd take this sort of person for a ride out into the woods and shoot them, as Darwin intended, before he could spawn."--Will the Vampire People Leave the Lobby? pg 79
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12-16-2004, 04:57 PM
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#1344
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Flyover land
Posts: 19,042
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Music recs for 13 year old nephew
Quote:
Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
You really don't remember do you? Why do you think you woke up in a barn with some saddle soap and some sugar cubes up your ass?
TM
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Very funny. I know who it was. It was the big lug roommate of the guys who were pouring the liquor down my throat. I am positive that they were not doing it with the intent of getting the roommate laid, as one of them apparently had a thing for me and they would have been trying to get him laid.
ABBA, you forgot about douching. But thanks for throwing in the ass-fucking reference.
ETA, public safety warning, it is NOT NOT NOT safe to jump up and down in a full bathtub. You could slip and hurt yourself.
__________________
I'm using lipstick again.
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12-16-2004, 04:59 PM
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#1345
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World Ruler
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 12,057
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Music recs for 13 year old nephew
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
That sounds suspiciously like supposed hiccup, jet lag and hangover cures. None of them work but they offer great amusement to the people watching/giving advice.
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Ass sex cures hangovers?
__________________
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."
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12-16-2004, 05:01 PM
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#1346
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Flyover land
Posts: 19,042
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Music recs for 13 year old nephew
Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Ass sex cures hangovers?
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Yes. And hiccups.
__________________
I'm using lipstick again.
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12-16-2004, 05:01 PM
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#1347
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: State of Chaos
Posts: 8,197
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Rules to Drink By
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
Very funny. I know who it was. It was the big lug roommate of the guys who were pouring the liquor down my throat.
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http://www.drunkard.com/issues/01-02...ooze_rules.htm
I like this one:
24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence. |
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12-16-2004, 05:01 PM
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#1348
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Podunkville
Posts: 6,034
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someone please change the re line.
Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Ass sex cures hangovers?
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Yes, but it can sometimes hurt to sit afterwards. |
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12-16-2004, 05:02 PM
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#1349
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Genius Known As ABBAKiss
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Wonderland
Posts: 3,540
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Horsefeathers
Quote:
Originally posted by robustpuppy
You forgot to recommend horseback riding.
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I am not a blue blood and my family cannot afford its own stable with horses and stable hands. I have a cheap look to me because of this (like Kiera Knightly) and I am not worthy to discuss things horse related. But you are correct -- horseback riding goes hand in hand with having ones period and can also devirginize someone. Which is sort of disturbing if you have ever looked at a horses schlong. |
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12-16-2004, 05:04 PM
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#1350
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: State of Chaos
Posts: 8,197
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Horsefeathers
Quote:
Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I am not a blue blood and my family cannot afford its own stable with horses and stable hands. I have a cheap look to me because of this (like Kiera Knightly) and I am not worthy to discuss things horse related. But you are correct -- horseback riding goes hand in hand with having ones period and can also devirginize someone. Which is sort of disturbing if you have ever looked at a horses schlong.
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You've never gone horseback riding on the beach in Jamaica?! |
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