Removing the feeding tube from our aging hipster plaid pants

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I used toswear by the ginger ale for the hangover. But now I use the following:

1 12 oz Naked blueberry B12/B6/Vitamin E fruit drink;
1 Odwalla Future Shake;
1 Taco Bell bean burrito;
1 six piece order of salmon sushi Or 1/2 lb rare sesame crusted tuna steak with teriyaki and fresh wasabi.

I sometime substitute a cheese and onion egg white omellette with a side of sausage and bacon for the burrito and fish.

Seems to work miracles.

Is this at one sitting? Here is how you cure a hangover. One huge glass of fresh squeezed OJ, one bean and cheese burrito with hot sauce and or hot salsa, one xanax and a couch and blanket.

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Is this at one sitting? Here is how you cure a hangover. One huge glass of fresh squeezed OJ, one bean and cheese burrito with hot sauce and or hot salsa, one xanax and a couch and blanket.

Dear God! I have become Taxwonk.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Not that vomiting would help since the poisons were already in your bloodstream, but if you take a teaspoon of dry mustard powder, that would do the trick.

btw, if you had a brain tumor from cell phone use, would there be a lump behind yoru ear, or would you just experience bad headaches?

The tumor indicia varies with cell phone style. Nokia/Samsung tend to creat masses behind ear due to location of transmitter/receiver. Motorola/ LG tend to be deeper tissue mass causing, and less physically noticable.

If you use a headset, you may want to check your lymph node area periodically.

See your doctor.

[Skeks in the city]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I'm seeing them tonight. Got the CD on Friday because I'm special.* It is quite good (not Version 2.0 good, but I like it better than Beautiful Garbage - no more of that doo wop stuff).

I prefer their eponymous album to Version 2.0.

[Adder]

Originally posted by ironweed
I'm glad this is making the international news, because the anti-Catholic/anti-Irish bigotry in Scotland is truly shocking and has no place in the 20th or 21st Century. It gets swept under the rug by the powers that be (most notably the Scottish Football Association) most of the time, but maybe now they'll be forced to take action against the scumbags who chant "Fuck The Pope" and sing about being "up to our knees in Fenian blood" at Celtic games.

Does it go the other way too?

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Yes, he's slipped by week after week, when someone else does even worse.

BTW, how hard is it to explain that you find an appropriate receptacle and discretely dispose of your chaw?

I kind of would like to harken back to an era where we had brass spitoons and people to polish them.
Exxxxcelllent . . .

These fuckers are all terrible. I suppose Bren is marginally less terrible than the rest, or perhaps bland Kendra. I suspect, from how it's been edited, that Tana will win it all (and also partly because Trump won't want to be seen publicly picking three men in a row).

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Actually, no one is sick RIGHT NOW. I was deathly hung over yesterday, and, as I've mentioned before, I can't throw up. Ever. I'm working on a Seinfeld-like run of not throwing up. So, instead, I feel nauseated for 6 straight hours. I need to either: (1) stop drinking like a frat kid, or (2) find a semi-cure. I can handle the headaches/general aches and pains from hangovers, but I'd rather (honestly) be kicked in the groin then go through that again...I'm apparently too stupid to think about the effects of drinking beer, wine, champagne and vodka all in the same night.

I think you're overlooking the obvious solution - throw up next time you drink all the crap. For your reference, here is the str8 guide to throwing up, next time you eat food that doesn't agree with you, or drink too much, or are just feeling a little chubby.

1. Wash hands. Rinse a little, but not thorougly.
2. Kneel in front of toilet.
3. Stick finger down throat.
4. Goto step 3.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
I'm sure your wife will be happy to hear that you're new goal in life is searching for a new hot woman to bang. Let me know when she gets the forward I sent her.

Nothing if not consistent. Even your original jokes revolve around cutting and pasting.

[ltl/fb]

Anyone have any tips for getting sunscreen on one's own back?

ltl/fb(urned)

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Anyone have any tips for getting sunscreen on one's own back?

ltl/fb(urned)

If you're burned already, wear a shirt.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
If you're burned already, wear a shirt.

*sigh* duh. I am asking for future reference.

No, I am not going to forego wearing tank tops all summer.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Some snakes just need killin'.

We all got it comin', kid.

[AbsOfSteel]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Most people know how awful it is to puke, have food poisoning, etcetera; however, it is kind of you to want to educate poor Coltrane, who may never know the joy of the experience. May I request you do it either euphemistically, or by PM? Thanks. I'm feeling a bit oogy.

You don't know sick until you have been seasick..Not just a little seasick mind you, but acutely so. The best cure for that is a visit by Kevorkian.

Otherwise, the Taco Bell Burrito and a Coke thing always worked for me in my drink-till-I-puke days.

[AbsOfSteel]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Anyone have any tips for getting sunscreen on one's own back?

ltl/fb(urned)

Look around for some hottie ( gender of your preference, of course, NTTAWWT) to apply the lotion. Failing that, take a towel, slather it on, and work the towel on your back like you are drying yourself off. It's awkward and a mess, but it's worked for me. A long fuller shower brush covered in a cloth works too, if you have one of those.

You can also take Yoga for 4 years, until you become proficient enough such that you can actually reach around.

[Hank Chinaski]

http://money.cnn.com/2005/04/08/news...oney/index.htm

• Surprise! Pretty people earn more
  
  Fed Reserve study shows beautiful people make about 5% more than their average counterparts.
  
  
  NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - Kiss that merit raise goodbye.
  
  Good-looking, slim, tall people tend to make more money than their plain-Jane counterparts, according to a study released this month by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis, with researchers finding that beautiful people tend to earn 5 percent more an hour than their less comely colleagues.

Sure it's circumstantial, but remember, Hank appears to have a good deal more discretionary income than the rest of you based upon willingness to bet for board support.