Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones!

[Ty@50]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
As of the end of the year, I will no longer be working for a studio that makes crap movies.

I will be working for a boutique (6 lawyers, including me) firm that represents Angelina Jolie and Lindsay Lohan, among others.

That's the news. Say hi to my family for me, because I'll never get to see them again.

You know how Sleepers and Murder in the First made the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon too easy? Well, starting in mid 06 everyone here starts playing "6 degrees of Str8" where you have to link an actor to somone str8 has met.

It's a really fun time, and draws everyone closer- until 2012 when str8 dumps the wife and starts seeing Demi Moore. A few dinner parties into that affair and he's met too many people for the game to be challenging.

Mickey Rooney?
Mickey Rooney was in Requiem For a Heavyweight with Jackie Gleason.
Jackie Gleason was in The Hustler with Paul Newman.
Paul newman was in the Verdict with Bruce Willis.
Str8 has had dinner with Bruce Willis.
Mickey rooney is a 4. Too easy.

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I sometimes wish I was that kind of guy. Alas, I lack the sack for it...

(Not the fucking part; the other part...).

Oh dear. I read this as saying "I jack the sack for it".

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I sometimes wish I was that kind of guy. Alas, I lack the sack for it...

(Not the fucking part; the other part...).

You and me both.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I sometimes wish I was that kind of guy. Alas, I lack the sack for it...

(Not the fucking part; the other part...).

Licking? Sucking?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
There is more room for multiple tv's in the suburbs, no? That sort of lifestyle is not in my game plan. No offence.

They're a fucking waste. I have them in every orifice of my cozy little home, and I don't have the time or interest to watch one of the fucking things.

But I'm thrilled every month when the filthy fucking curs from Comcast send me a bill for $170. I hope that new Comcast building crumbles on those pricks...*

* Comcast is building a 70 story tower in Philly. Good fucking move - more empty office space.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
As of the end of the year, I will no longer be working for a studio that makes crap movies.

I will be working for a boutique (6 lawyers, including me) firm that represents Angelina Jolie and Lindsay Lohan, among others.

That's the news. Say hi to my family for me, because I'll never get to see them again.

Can I have your cushy job then?

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
As of the end of the year, I will no longer be working for a studio that makes crap movies.

I will be working for a boutique (6 lawyers, including me) firm that represents Angelina Jolie and Lindsay Lohan, among others.

That's the news. Say hi to my family for me, because I'll never get to see them again.

Uh oh. From potential client who never returns my calls, to cutthroat competitor.

You? You're dead to me, str8. Fuck with my clients, and I'll tell your party guests about the exquisite little cafe mochas that you made when you worked as the office copy boy.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Oh dear. I read this as saying "I jack the sack for it".

For some reason, I found this genuinely lol funny. I think "I jack the sack for it" would make a good song title. I haven't decided yet whether it's more appropriate for the Blowjob Camels or for Attican Bedshitter.

Here is a picture of Howard Stern's girlfriend with the dog that was found swimming in her cage for SEVEN STRAIGHT DAYS without food or clean water (half the animals in that shelter died , drowned in their cages). This doggie needs a home and if you go to howardstern.com, you can help, but look at how skinny this chicks arms are.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Oh dear. I read this as saying "I jack the sack for it".

Try that the next time you get the chance. Guys love it. Feels sooo good.

Since I'm here...

9 outta 10 chicks don't know how to handle balls. That includes every female doctor I've had. Its like some sort of retardation your sex has...

Here are 3 rules in re package handling:

1. A dry hand is a hand that should not rub anything, or "unless its lubed, don't stroke." There's a reason we joke about Libriderm. Nobody gives himself a dry hand job unless he's desperate. You shouldn't attempt to warm a guy up that way.

2. Do not cup the balls during sex. You're just confusing everything.

3. Do not rub any part of the penis immediately following orgasm. Imagine a man rubbing your clit with a rubber dish glove while the clitoris is dry and overworked from previous use. You get the picture.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Here is a picture of Howard Stern's girlfriend with the dog that was found swimming in her cage for SEVEN STRAIGHT DAYS without food or clean water (half the animals in that shelter died , drowned in their cages). This doggie needs a home and if you go to howardstern.com, you can help, but look at how skinny this chicks arms are.

I'm actually a bit glad that all I saw on my browser was a red "x".

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
Licking? Sucking?

Nah, just the usual... shocker, blumpie, etc... the standard romantic stuff.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Nah, just the usual... blumpie, etc... the standard romantic stuff.

Sometimes I ponder how enjoyable would a blumpkin be, other than the obvious power trip associated with it. Thoughts?

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
3. Do not rub any part of the penis immediately following orgasm. Imagine a man rubbing your clit with a rubber dish glove while the clitoris is dry and overworked from previous use. You get the picture.

Does this advice include not touching the balls? Just checking for consistency of topic among the three points.

I told the view on the ppt slide to fit to the screen, and it's 69%. Heh, 69.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I told the view on the ppt slide to fit to the screen, and it's 69%. Heh, 69.

What language is this? I lost my decoder ring again.

Cool kids' table, indeed.