Fringey's taut-abbed painter

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
What is up with this?

Can we just have Kobe lobotomized? Was Vanessa Bryant born yesterday? Did Malone say something untoward to her that I missed? Does Kobe's decision to share all of this make you want to retch? Does Kobe make you want to retch?

Kobe Bryant has to be the worst teammate in the history of sports. He is greedy and selfish with the ball, leadership of the team, the spotlight and pretty much anything else you can think of.

He doesn't understand that certain things should be kept solely within the team. Shaq may have been fat and lazy, but holding a press conference to say so doesn't make sense. Jordan would have impressed upon Shaq in practice that he was too fat and lazy and would have whipped him into shape.

Shaq may have had an arrangement with women where he paid to keep them quiet when he fucked them up the ass, but what good does it do you to tell the cops of his arrangement when you're being questioned? Why would you sell out a teammate like that?

You may want to prove to the world that you are as good as Jordan and can lead a team without a premier center to the promised land, but why would you actively push your coach and your hall-of-fame center (both of whom you just won multiple rings with) out of town? Do you not understand that winning is the only thing that matters? Have you ever even listened to Jordan?

And finally, why would you come out and say that Malone was making moves on your wife, especially after you just got busted for cheatin'. Going public with this is not only embarrassing for Malone, his wife and family, your wife and you, but it makes you look like, once again, your own teammates don't respect you at all -- and on the most fundamental level (the guy wanted to fuck your wife, for christsakes). Also, open your eyes. Your relationship with your wife can't be the same after Colorado. You have no idea whether she took whatever he said in the wrong way or just wants to get back at you by (i) making you feel bad or (ii) making it seem like she is desirable to other huge, well-paid men.

Use your fucking head. Who in their right mind would want to play with you after all this?

TM

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Our department's unofficial xmas party a few years ago. Our entire group had been under enormous stress and people were looking to cut loose. An older, but not unattractive atty started flirting with me very openly and embarrassingly. I had had a few and I figured the best way to handle the situation was just to kind of play along. This seemed to work until she started becoming more and more adventurous with her hands and my gf, who was also my date, happened to notice. My gf stomped across the floor loudly, prompting all conversation to cease, and announced that she was leaving. Fortunately, this happened right before most people in our office left for vacation, somewhat minimizing the gossip factor. But I still got a lot of probing "So, where did you end up spending the holidays?" sorts of questions.

Probing my ass was way more festive than whereever you'd planned to go with the gf, anyway.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Probing my ass was way more festive than whereever you'd planned to go with the gf, anyway.

Which definition of "festive" are you using?

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Which definition of "festive" are you using?

I don't have time for this and am PMSing, so why don't you just run a google search, or look in the dictionary, for "double entendre"?

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Kobe Bryant has to be the worst teammate in the history of sports. He is greedy and selfish with the ball, leadership of the team, the spotlight and pretty much anything else you can think of.

Agree. My understanding is that the Malone thing started because Kobe wouldn't support him coming to the team, although they were neighbors and purportedly close friends, causing Malone to get pissed. The funny thing was the press conference that Kobe had where he talked about not wanting new talent (Malone) because it would be disrespectful to His players on the team now, who are playing their hearts out for Him and give Him 110% every game. Bizarre.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
And finally, why would you come out and say that Malone was making moves on your wife, especially after you just got busted for cheatin'. Going public with this is not only embarrassing for Malone, his wife and family, your wife and you, but it makes you look like, once again, your own teammates don't respect you at all -- and on the most fundamental level (the guy wanted to fuck your wife, for christsakes). Also, open your eyes. Your relationship with your wife can't be the same after Colorado. You have no idea whether she took whatever he said in the wrong way or just wants to get back at you by (i) making you feel bad or (ii) making it seem like she is desirable to other huge, well-paid men.

Or maybe she gets uncomfortable easy? This doesn't sound to me like Malone was making a pass at her:

• "Karl and his son were at the game sitting in the front row," Pelinka said. "Vanessa was on the cell phone talking to Karl's wife, Kaye, and Vanessa said that her son looked bored. Kaye told her to call Karl to have her son join her in her seats. Kaye gave Vanessa Karl's cell number and she called him. When she called, Karl's response was, 'Why don't you come over here and sit next to me and give me a big hug?' Vanessa said, 'Why? For what?' And Karl replied, 'If you do that it will be on the cover of every magazine in the country.'
  
  "Vanessa didn't know what to say because this was the first time she had ever spoken to Malone without Kobe or Kaye being around. Karl continued. 'Do you like me?' Malone asked her, to which Vanessa said, 'As my friend, Kaye's husband,' " Pelinka said.
  
  "From there Malone asked Vanessa if she could keep a secret, and that he would like to tell her something. At which point Vanessa told him she was a married woman and he was a married man who was old enough to be her father. To which Malone replied, 'Oh, like your daddy?' At that point she told me she ended the conversation," Pelinka said.
  
  In the second half of the game, Malone sent his son to sit with the Bryants.
  
  "Vanessa told me that she just was very uncomfortable at halftime and that Karl was acting and saying weird things." said Pelinka. "When the game ended, Vanessa walked Malone's son back to Karl. She told me that she asked Malone why he was wearing that [cowboy] hat. His response was, 'I'm hunting for young Mexican girls.' At which point Vanessa just walked away."

It does sound like Vanessa married young and doesn't know how to talk to people.

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Agree. My understanding is that the Malone thing started because Kobe wouldn't support him coming to the team, although they were neighbors and purportedly close friends, causing Malone to get pissed. The funny thing was the press conference that Kobe had where he talked about not wanting new talent (Malone) because it would be disrespectful to His players on the team now, who are playing their hearts out for Him and give Him 110% every game. Bizarre.

In Kobe's defense, when he said it, it was hard to tell if he was capitalizing those H's.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I don't have time for this and am PMSing, so why don't you just run a google search, or look in the dictionary, for "double entendre"?

Unfortunately, your second meaning doesn't make any sense. If there is an opposite to man getting hit in crotch with football, this is it.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Our department's unofficial xmas party a few years ago. [Story about embarrassing office party behavior.]

At my office, by the time you are drunk enough to do something embarrassing (and I've been there, oh yes, I have been there*), everyone else is also drunk enough to not really notice/remember, or they are doing things just as embarrassing. One of the benefits of working with an office full of fellow lushes - everyone respects the code of silence, given the mutually assured destruction of doing otherwise.



*It is the table-dancing-for-money incident I remember most clearly; that and the drunken white-chick-funky-chicken-faux-hip-hop dancing on the ice rink - that was not good, but at least I was doing it with a really sr. partner and I managed not to mangle any joints.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
And finally, why would you come out and say that Malone was making moves on your wife, especially after you just got busted for cheatin'. Going public with this is not only embarrassing for Malone, his wife and family, your wife and you, but it makes you look like, once again, your own teammates don't respect you at all -- and on the most fundamental level (the guy wanted to fuck your wife, for christsakes). Also, open your eyes. Your relationship with your wife can't be the same after Colorado. You have no idea whether she took whatever he said in the wrong way or just wants to get back at you by (i) making you feel bad or (ii) making it seem like she is desirable to other huge, well-paid men.

Use your fucking head. Who in their right mind would want to play with you after all this?

TM

I don't understand this at all. Why the hell would anyone call a fucking press conference to say that their wife was hit on? What sort of publicist would let his client say a single word about this, regardless of the truth of the accusation? No one looks good. Vanessa Bryant can't handle being alone with another man. Kobe Bryant can't handle matters privately, and Karl Malone has to explain something that needs no explanation to 90 percent of the rational world.

What purpose at all does it serve to draw the media's attention to this matter? I'll have to alert the media the next time I walk by a construction site.

This is the best possible way of handling the situtation. "Karl's response to Kobe's comments today is that he's a basketball player and not a soap opera actor and he doesn't intend to be involved in a personal soap opera,'' Manley said of his client.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
One of the benefits of [associating with] fellow lushes - everyone respects the code of silence, given the mutually assured destruction of doing otherwise.

I need to stop hanging out with teetotalers.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I don't understand this at all. Why the hell would anyone call a fucking press conference to say that their wife was hit on? What sort of publicist would let his client say a single word about this, regardless of the truth of the accusation?

Kobe's been taking it in the shorts particularly hard since he publicly hinted on a radio show here in LA that Malone wasn't coming back, and that frankly, the team didn't want him back, because Kobe's teammates were giving 110% (for Kobe).

This was news to Malone, who was understandably pissed.

The Lakers organization understood the radioactive nature of Kobe's Turrette's episode on the radio, and distanced themselves from their star player on this one, saying that they loved Malone and wanted him to come back.

So I suspect that (notwithstanding the internal inconsistencies with Kobe's earlier statements that he didn't mean to diss Malone) Kobe's trying to explain his comments by explaining that Malone's reputation as one of the league's few good guys is all shit.

I agree that it's a profoundly stupid move regardless, but this might be the "why."

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Unfortunately, your second meaning doesn't make any sense. If there is an opposite to man getting hit in crotch with football, this is it.

Bigger cushion, sweeter pushing. Dumbass.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Bigger cushion, sweeter pushing. Dumbass.

Oh, I understand what you were trying to say. I just don't think that's what you said.

"Probing my ass was way more festive." In this sentence, it's not your ass that's fat ("festive"). Instead, the act of probing your ass was fat, which doesn't make any sense. Probing your ass can be festive if done at this time of year, but describing the probing of your ass as "fat" doesn't make any sense.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Gattigap
...Malone's reputation as one of the league's few good guys...

Que?

I thought his reputation focused more on the cheap shots (via elbow, usually) he liked to dish out to guys half his size. And that he gets roughly 20% of his points by clearing people out of his path with shoulders and 'bows.

He and Stockton were the dirtiest duo in the league for many, many years.

TM

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Oh, I understand what you were trying to say. I just don't think that's what you said.

"Probing my ass was way more festive." In this sentence, it's not your ass that's fat ("festive"). Instead, the act of probing your ass was fat, which doesn't make any sense.

You've come to the dark side, I see.