Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones! - Page 211

Penske_Account · 10-07-2005, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive

Mary Kate, I have your tiny, emaciated back on this one.

I am trying to picture this, are the two of you clothed or unclothed? Semi-clothed?

NotFromHere · 10-07-2005, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Ok. So you are jealous that you don't have her life, so you are setting different standards for her than you have for yourself? I think that pretty much every event she attends is a highly publicized event. You are saying she can't be young and stupid because she is famous.

Mary Kate, I have your tiny, emaciated back on this one.

No. I'm not saying that at all. Where do you get that? She can do whatever the fuck she wants. I'm just saying she's Courtney Love in 5 years. There's partying and then there's *partying*. IYKWIMAITTYD.

Penske_Account · 10-07-2005, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
No. I'm not saying that at all. Where do you get that? She can do whatever the fuck she wants. I'm just saying she's Courtney Love in 5 years. There's partying and then there's *partying*. IYKWIMAITTYD.

ITTID.

sunnybunny · 10-07-2005, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
I don't know what all of you are talking about, crazy chicks are always interesting in bed.

So why is Slave always bitching about tagging Paigs?

Hank Chinaski · 10-07-2005, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
You are cheapening my numerous PB argument wins with this shit. She might even think you mean it, you know?

On no. You won fair and square- everyone says so.

ThurgreedMarshall · 10-07-2005, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
No. I'm not saying that at all. Where do you get that? She can do whatever the fuck she wants. I'm just saying she's Courtney Love in 5 years. There's partying and then there's *partying*. IYKWIMAITTYD.

It's like arguing with a wet bag of sand.

TM

NotFromHere · 10-07-2005, 04:36 PM

Anything can happen when you're drunk.

Actress Portia De Rossi used to take advantage of her drunk teenage friends by persuading them that going to bed with her was just innocent fun.

The unnamed pals never suspected gay De Rossi -- then just plain old Amanda Rogers -- harbored lesbian desires, so they felt sure the bedroom sessions were totally harmless.

The former Ally McBeal star, who is now dating comedienne Ellen DeGeneres, tells gay magazine The Advocate, "In high school I had sex with girls quite a few times. They were straight women who I convinced to jump in the sack with me.

"I did a lot of fast talking as a youth; I was pretty good at it too. I was never talked into it (going to bed) -- I was always the one doing the talking.

"I just thought, 'This is so great and so interesting, and if only you knew how interesting this is and how great it feels ...'

"But these weren't real relationships with women who were gay, these were with women who were drunk. They thought, 'She's not a lesbian, so I can jump in the sack with her.'"

She totally reminds me of Joey Tribbiani's sister on the show. Adriana from Sopranos.

andViolins · 10-07-2005, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
It's like arguing with a wet bag of sand.

TM

That's rather insulting to the sand.

aV

Penske_Account · 10-07-2005, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sunnybunny
So why is Slave always bitching about tagging Paigs?

He couldn't get her into his bed, it was the kitchen floor and it was hard and cold on this shaven back. Not very comfortable for him. Of course, she was in the driver's seat.

sunnybunny · 10-07-2005, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Penske_Account
He couldn't get her into his bed, it was the kitchen floor and it was hard and cold on this shaven back. Not very comfortable for him. Of course, she was in the driver's seat.

I'm confused. If he couldn't get her into his bed, I'm sure it was a technical imposibility...so how could she be in the driver's seat if she was too drunk to walk into the bedroom?

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 10-07-2005, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
I puked so much that I even had a cute little nickname (my body hates hard alcohol).

"my body hates hard alcohol" is a terrible nickname.

Penske_Account · 10-07-2005, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sunnybunny
I'm confused. If he couldn't get her into his bed, I'm sure it was a technical imposibility...so how could she be in the driver's seat if she was too drunk to walk into the bedroom?

She rode him hard and put him away wet on the kitchen floor.

sunnybunny · 10-07-2005, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Penske_Account
She rode him hard and put him away wet on the kitchen floor.

so why couldn't he get her into the bed?

Penske_Account · 10-07-2005, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
"my body hates hard alcohol" is a terrible nickname.

She went by the acronymn.

Pretty Little Flower · 10-07-2005, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Penske_Account
ITTID.

ITTIDT.

I mean, there's partying and there's *partying*. And then there's PARTYING!!! and also P-P-P-P-P-AAAAAAAAAAAAAARTYING!!!!!!! There's even:

P.
A.
R.
T.
Y.
I.
N.
G.

The latter generally happens when an all night bender goes awry, and you wake up outside, semi-clothed, covered in blood and vomit, only some of which is your own. You drag yourself home, do a couple of bong hits, vomit, shower, more bong hits, vomite again, and sit on the couch trying to figure out what has become of your life. Soon, you realize that the amount of pain you are suffering is unbearable, there is no way you can sleep, and you are not ready to die. So you give in to the inevitable, pull a 40 of malt liquor out of the fridge, do one last bong hit because it seems like a quaint thing to do, and call your "friend" with the crack habit. By noon, you are on your third 40, and your friend is screaming at you in between hits that the whole house is bugged, that the god damn feds are tightening the noose, and begins to smash your possessions looking for listening devices and hidden cameras. So you figure it is a good time to hit the road. But you have no idea where your car is, so your pal hot-wires your neighbor's Audi and you peel out, stopping only briefly to break into a friend's apartment to break in and steal his Demorol, which you alternate popping and grinding up to smoke with the crack. You put on ACDC's Back in Black, which causes your friend to sing along, but instead of singing, he is shrieking like a banshee with a broken pool cue being shoved up his ass, and instead of ACDC, he is singing the words from Billy Joel's Glass Houses. Then he gets a demonic look in his eyes and he starts stuttering in the same anally-raped banshee shriek: "Lett-t-ts g-g-get weird. LET'S G-G-G-GET W-WEIRD-D!!!!" So you drive to his apartment, "parking" the car on his neghbor's deck. It takes him somewhere between 30 seconds and a day to locate the vial of liquid acid, which you both begin to pour liberally straight into your eyes. Approximately seven weeks or a half hour later, it begins to kick in, and you just want to dance, but you can't because your pants are so wet, and in your last moment of quasi-lucidity, you realize you are complete incontinent. So you pull off your clothes and run outside with shit streaming down your legs, and now the cops are really actually after you, but they're not the cops, they are beautiful angels, and you think to yourself as you slip from consciousness that each baton blow to your head feels like a thousand blow jobs all at once.

I mean, that's partying.

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