The Spanky Show

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Star?! Star?!?! What do you know of Stars? I was a Star before Spanky ever even read these boards and I'll still be a Star when the Spanky Show is dead and gone. Oh, you naive little hussy, I pity you and your ridiculous attempts to make this Owen Meanyesque mountain man into a Star. He is but a socially crippled footnote in the career of the One True Star, ncs! This charade of interest in what deers eat and whether raccoons have opposable thumbs cannot eclipse the burst of light that emanates from the core of my rare roast beef! I live Starness with every fiber of my being! He had his Snow White cottage? I am the wicked witch, with my mirror of knowledge and the bitchinest royal townhouse-style apartment ever to grace the City of Angels! He lived in Paris? I prefer the Beacon of Light that is the one true voice and the cradle of freedom known as the U.S. of A.! He quotes The Big Lebowski? I am the female lead in the greatest office parody ever! I did Lumbergh, for baby Jesus's sake!

Spanky the Star. Ha. As if Spanky could star in an infomercial about the boxed set of ncs's greatest (s)hits. Keep dreaming, paigow, you've made it with anything other than a not-so-witty Grizzly Adams character in a ne'er-to-be-picked-up pilot produced by gattigap for UPN. Oh. The. Humanity.

Oh, you poor deluded wretch. DId Slave steal your password? When did you go all megalo and shit? Don't you know that the minute you think you are allmighty, you are well past your sell by date in this Town? Did you not get the Memo? Did someone take you off the Distritubiton LIst? I wonder why.

You , my dear could use more white space. You are no mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm3465654767. You aren't even a Sebby pontificating on one of his four points. You are just another pretty lady, one of thousands who get ona bus from the patch each year, trying to make it in a town that will eat you alive. Mark my words, mid-skooler. Spanky has LessinSF cred and we all know whow old skool he is. When the bombs fly from Pakisbabwe and make it past Egypt and go all the way to the Golden State, its gonna be just me, my Main Man Spanky, my Cute Dog, his three unfortunately named Cats, some Deer and Raccooons, a Skunk, some termites, our child Painky and em's Godfather, LessinSF.

"Ping! Pow!