No Faith in the Moral Standards of the Players as a Group

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally Posted by Adder

As I said, shitty example as Hank's hypothetical drinking is an issue of it's own.

But let's say Hank's got some sort of chronic medical condition that says he can only perform a few times a year. Whereas his wife feels unfulfilled if she's not getting some at least weekly. This wasn't an issue before Hank got ill, and Hank's done everything possible to try to treat it.

You think Hank's wife should just have to go on being unfulfilled? Or that her leaving him over the lack of sexual satisfaction is kinder/more appropriate/less hurtful than doing what she has to do to stay sane and stay married?

Assuming that she really wants to stay with Hank (ha!) and just wants some sexual fulfillment, I think she's perfectly justified with getting some on the side.

I completely disagree. If he is unable to perform sexually and does not want her to fuck other guys, given that they made vows to be faithful (presumably in sickness or in health), it is not okay to get some on the side. The fact that she doesn't get permission in advance and has to do it in secret is the exact issue. If she is not satisfied to the extent she has to get it elsewhere and lie and keep it a secret, she is in the wrong. She should get a divorce.

Originally Posted by Adder

In these scenarios, my embarrassment would be that she didn't think she could seek my permission, which she would have gotten. The deal changed in a material way and she shouldn't have to bear the entire burden of that change.

Well, maybe you and I have different ideas of what marriage means. If your wife agrees to be faithful no matter what and you get sick such that you have problems performing, her sneaking around and getting it elsewhere without telling should be fatal. If she can't live with her promise, she should ask for a divorce (which are granted for loss of consortium).

You're right. It's a shitty example. But I don't think you can come up with one that doesn't involve consent from the other person, which destroys the example.

Originally Posted by Adder

Neither of those things matter to Hank when he's working our wives.

If Hank plows my wife, everybody dies.

TM