Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones! - Page 73

Shape Shifter · 09-21-2005, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Are you taking your dogs with you wherever you go?

Knowing what I do of RT, I don't think she really gives a shit about her dogs. They're doomed.

09-21-2005, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Well, we're closing down as of 7:00 tonight, so I get an extra extra day.

I miss precipitation.

sebastian_dangerfield · 09-21-2005, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I'm finding more and more that the pesky strictures of coherence, chronological sequencing and responding to issues raised is impeding my ability to communicate. I'm communicating on a different level - like the first few Yes records.

9 9 9 9 9

;;

You're all a bunch of slaves...

- fin (with apples) -

NotFromHere · 09-21-2005, 04:58 PM

BEIJING - A rubber company in China has begun marketing condoms under the brand names Clinton and Lewinsky.

Spokesman Liu Wenhua, of the Guangzhou Rubber Group, said the company was handing out 100,000 free Clinton and Lewinsky condoms as part of a promotion to raise consumer awareness of its new products.

Liu said the company had chosen to use the Clinton name because consumers viewed the 42nd president as a responsible person, who would want to stress safe sex as an effective way to prevent the spread of the HIV virus.

“The names we chose are symbols of people who are responsible and dedicated to their jobs,” he said. “I believe Bill Clinton cannot be unhappy about this because he’s a very generous man.”

I smell a TRO.

NotFromHere · 09-21-2005, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
9 9 9 9 9

;;

You're all a bunch of slaves...

- fin (with apples) -

The half-life of whatever you took in Vegas cannot possibly be this long. I suspect irreparable dain bramage. Just like you always wanted.

sebastian_dangerfield · 09-21-2005, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
That appearance was the reason I picked him. Reminded me of when I saw Dangerfiled accept an award months before he died. Only differneci s I didnt see a bimbo clapping in the audience. Otherwise, I give him less than a year. Sadly.

Agreed as to health appearance, but not mental ability. Kurt looked like he was gasping for breath (which will happen to an 85 year old lifelong chain smoker). But his mind is still very much there. Rodney was a doddering imbecile at his last appearance and had to be helped to stage. Snorting coke in a hot tub with hookers in your late 60s will do that to you.

I love Kurt. He’s the perfect novelist for people with no attention span who love silly asides.

NotFromHere · 09-21-2005, 05:06 PM

WASHINGTON - Men are dirtier than women. So scientists confirmed by spying in public restrooms, watching as one-quarter of men left without washing their hands.

Wednesday’s results mark the American Society of Microbiology’s latest look at how many people take what is considered the single easiest step to staying healthy: spending 20 seconds rubbing with soap under the faucet.

The worst hygiene was at Atlanta’s Turner Field baseball stadium, where 37 percent of men left the bathroom without washing, and 16 percent of the women did.

New York’s Penn Station had the biggest gender disparity, where 64 percent of men washed their hands compared with 92 percent of women. Grand Central Station was almost as bad.

The best hygiene was at San Francisco’s Ferry Terminal Farmers Market (shocking) and Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry and Shedd Aquarium, where only about 12 percent of people left without washing.

There are stories of a guy here who never ever ever washed his hands. He is no longer with us.

Replaced_Texan · 09-21-2005, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Are you taking your dogs with you wherever you go?

Yep, and my mom's dog and my sister's dog. The fish will have to ride out the storm.

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 09-21-2005, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield

I love Kurt. He’s the perfect novelist for people with no attention span who love silly asides.

2.

Replaced_Texan · 09-21-2005, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Yep, and my mom's dog and my sister's dog. The fish will have to ride out the storm.

Jesus.

It's now a category five. Fuck me.

sebastian_dangerfield · 09-21-2005, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
The half-life of whatever you took in Vegas cannot possibly be this long. I suspect irreparable dain bramage. Just like you always wanted.

I’m high on life. It’s a sunny day, I’m young and I’m working. I’m busily reading briefs and preparing for deps and attending hearings and making my arguments. I’m living the dream, sister. Its like a golden road, lined with trees of money and every turn is new and exciting adventure. I learn new procedural tricks and master my craft more every day. I will the sharpest lawyer around someday, and people will respect me. They’ll see me and think, “Boy, is that Mr. Dangerfiled smart.” It’ll be like the people standing in court for Gregory Peck in “To Kill a Mockingbird.”

Oh, don’t you forget it... I have the brass ring AND the world by the short hairs. In fact, my grip on The Dream is so tight my brass ring is actually caught in those short hairs, and the World is kneeling before me - begging for escape, tapping “one, two, three, uncle!”

Oh, wait a minute... my hand’s in the other end. I knew this wasn’t supposed to feel gooey... fuck. This is going to ruin my manicure.

NotFromHere · 09-21-2005, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I’m high on life. It’s a sunny day, I’m young and I’m working. I’m busily reading briefs and preparing for deps and attending hearings and making my arguments. I’m living the dream, sister. Its like a golden road, lined with trees of money and every turn is new and exciting adventure. I learn new procedural tricks and master my craft more every day. I will the sharpest lawyer around someday, and people will respect me. They’ll see me and think, “Boy, is that Mr. Dangerfiled smart.” It’ll be like the people standing in court for Gregory Peck in “To Kill a Mockingbird.”

Oh, don’t you forget it... I have the brass ring AND the world by the short hairs. In fact, my grip on The Dream is so tight my brass ring is actually caught in those short hairs, and the World is kneeling before me - begging for escape, tapping “one, two, three, uncle!”

Oh, wait a minute... my hand’s in the other end. I knew this wasn’t supposed to feel gooey... fuck. This is going to ruin my manicure.

Welcome to the shit end of the stick. I am going out to buy me a lottery ticket.

robustpuppy · 09-21-2005, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Oh, wait a minute... my hand’s in the other end. I knew this wasn’t supposed to feel gooey... fuck. This is going to ruin my manicure.

Dear Sebby,

Over the weekend I got a french manicure and a pedicure and sprung for the paraffin dip on both. It was a little bit of heaven on earth. You should do that this weekend. Go to a spa place where they put you in a comfortable reclining ergonomic chair and give you an eye mask for the pedicure. That way, you don't have to look at your wax-enclosed foot and contemplate that it will look exactly that way if you are embalmed after death.

Love,
rp

Shape Shifter · 09-21-2005, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Jesus.

It's now a category five. Fuck me.

Enh. I was just outside. Boring.

Is that the best you can do, God? Bring it on!

bold_n_brazen · 09-21-2005, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Jesus.

It's now a category five. Fuck me.

Quit yer whining.

(And make sure you have cash on hand. It's amazing how much further you can get post-hurricane with a twenty dollar bill in your outstretched fist.)