Fringey's taut-abbed painter

[Pontius Pilate]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
A FESTIVUS MIRACLE!!!

And like other Festivus miracles, so too shall this one end up a crucified, bloody mess.

http://passion.catholic.net/4images/data/media/1/58.jpg

edited by Not Bob to substitute a link for the picture because I am tired of the huge pics screwing up the margins. Add a smaller pic, governor.

[Buddha]

Originally posted by John the Baptist
Alas for you, liar and Pharisee! What secretary's cross stitch did you steal this drivel from?

Um, many scholars believe that Jesus actually had an affinity for the Pharisees, and that this insult is a misguided one.

I mean, I'm the God of a competing religion, and even I know that. You'd better pick up the pace, young one, as your vengeful God is gaining on you.

[dtb]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
One or many?

Neither. A horse and a pony. I suppose I should have said "equines'". Eh.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by John the Baptist
Alas for you, liar and Pharisee! What secretary's cross stitch did you steal this drivel from?

Mine, maybe. That's where I got the "it's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice" line.

She's also got embroidered signs reading "if I'd have known how much fun grandkids are, I'd have had them first," and "the dingo took my baby!" on her desk.

[John the Baptist]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I have some grievances to air. Time for the Feats of Strength. Some of you are about to get pinned. But first I must find my aluminum prole.

And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: therefore every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
So she asked who he was there with, and he said, my aunt, and points to me.

What were you wearing?

TM

[dtb]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Mine, maybe. That's where I got the "it's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice" line.

She's also got embroidered signs reading "if I'd have known how much fun grandkids are, I'd have had them first," and "the dingo took my baby!" on her desk.

My favorite cross-stitched pillow says, "If You Can't Say Anything Nice About Somebody, Come Sit Next to Me".

Sadly, I don't own such a pillow - I just saw it in a store window.

[John the Baptist]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Mine, maybe. That's where I got the "it's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice" line.

She's also got embroidered signs reading "if I'd have known how much fun grandkids are, I'd have had them first," and "the dingo took my baby!" on her desk.

Those trees bringeth not forth good fruit. May I borrow your chainsaw? I'm not very good with an axe.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by dtb
I agree that you've got to mind your own bees' wax. [ASIDE: In fact, yesterday, I was buying stamps at a machine, and the guy ahead of me put in a $20 bill only to realize that the Christmas stamps he wanted were sold out -- and the machine doesn't return change without a purchase. I was standing behind him and said, "Here, take my $20, I don't care about the x-mas stamps, I'll take the ones with the flags." He asked me how much I was going to spend on stamps, and my first reaction was (and I said), "What does it matter?" He was only trying to be nice, because he didn't want me to buy $2 worth of stamps and be stuck with $18 in coin change. I jokingly said, "Oh! I was gonna say -- 'Mind your own bees' wax!'" And we laughed and laughed... oh, how we laughed...]

So anyway, minding your own business is deeply ingrained in me; HOWEVER, when I see people trying to cut lines, when the civilized amongst us are waiting our turn, I feel I must say something -- and I do.

To wit: At my bus stop in the morning, it is the custom of the civilized to wait in a line along the curb. The other day, this punk-ass bitch decided she was special and didn't have to wait in the line (which was about 30 people long, at least), and she would just go straight to the front. I politely told her that there was a line, indicating to the 30 people standing patiently along the curb. She didn't move, but asked me who elected me mayor of the street. My immediate response was, of course, that as the first person in line, I was the de facto (I think that might have thrown her) representative of those standing in the line. I then said, "See, that's how we do it here in civilization." She still didn't move, but when the bus came, I blocked her from getting on, and told everyone waiting to go on ahead of me, as I was preventing the line-cutter from getting on before the people who had waited.

Someone on the bus saved me a seat -- and the punk-ass bitch was none too pleased with me, let me tell you.

That's a nice story, but how much was the bus fare?

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
What were you wearing?

TM

Um, your mother?

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Um, your mother?

Burn!!

[John the Baptist]

Originally posted by Pontius Pilate
And like other Festivus miracles, so too shall this one end up a crucified, bloody mess.

http://passion.catholic.net/4images/data/media/1/58.jpg

What wonderful holiday imagery. You should put this on your aluminum pole to chase the children away. Also, a replica of my severed head on a plate would make an ideal centerpiece for the festivus feast.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
Yeah, those fraternities don't do any mindfucking.

I'm willing to go out on a limb here and suggest that overprotective parents fuck a kid up infinitely more than any little bit of hazing ever could.

My parents are the sole reason for everything wrong in my life. Its just a fact.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Burn!!

He couldn't possibly lift that much.

TM

[dtb]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
That's a nice story, but how much was the bus fare?

Full fare is $2, but if you buy a Metrocard, for every $10 you put on the card, you get a free ride. As I usually put $40 on the card, each ride costs $1.666666666 (you get the idea).

Luckily, though, as I have several dollars in change from the stamps machine, if I find myself without my metrocard, I can use my dollar coins as fare!


Friendly reminder to out-of-towners: THE BUS DOES NOT TAKE DOLLAR BILLS -- YOU MUST USE CHANGE -- DON'T SLOW US ALL DOWN BY STANDING AT THE FRONT WITH THAT STUPID LOOK ON YOUR FACE ASKING THE BUS DRIVER IF HE'S GOT CHANGE FOR A DOLLAR.

Thank you.