Fringey's taut-abbed painter

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Stick with the three day old gossip. Nobody wants to hear about your personal life.

A "hands free" BJ would be like tongue-tying the cherry stem. It might be impressive to see your date do it once, but there really is no reason for doing it on any recurring basis.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
A "hands free" BJ would be like tongue-tying the cherry stem. It might be impressive to see your date do it once, but there really is no reason for doing it on any recurring basis.

You're begining to sound like Raooouuul.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
You're begining to sound like Raooouuul.

That would be spelled "raouaouoauaouaoaoaoal," dumbass.

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Your wife is up for a threesome and is just waiting for you to propose it. Definitely.

I fucking wish.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
You're begining to sound like Raooouuul.

No way, on that issue Sebbastian is crazy. But the no hands thing makes it a novelty act, may be ok for a few seconds, maybe as an entire act once just so you can say you saw it, but what would be special about it? Seriously.

[Dave]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I dunno about you, but I have to go to work tomorrow. That's cause enough to want to dull the senses.

2.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
The kid is fucking 13 - not 45. Jesus.

Apropos of this, I am told by a parent of middle-schoolers that "Seven Nation Army" is officially the "Smoke on the Water" of its generation --- it's the magic riff that makes you beg your parents for guitar lessons. FWIW.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I feel sorry for your kids.

So do I, as Hank is raising them. Shhh.

[spookyfish]

Randy Fucking Johnson.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/200...x.html?cnn=yes

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
There's a former USC player who has a sports/pop-culture-radio show out here, who's quite funny. He had a bit going a few weeks back that Admiral Ackbar had been hired as the head coach of Notre-Dame. They even put together a press conference, using clips from Jedi. Funny stuff. Petros Papadekis. Watch for him on a VH-1 talking-heads show near you.

I don't follow SC football, but let me guess -- ex-kicker?

[mmm3587]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
That was your shortest post ever! You finally got the memo! be sure to thank your mentor for us!

Oh, and Coltrane is too old for me but thanks for playing. I know it kinda sucks to be the number two Chicago FBob but I think RP struck out so you might try giving her a shot.

I would say that I am the number one Chicago notFBob, but I think the number one Podunkville notBob would take exception to that. And RP is stale. Who hasn't been in that shit?

[Alex_de_Large]

Gilette's new razor for women is called the Venus Vibrance. Davenetics suggests that Schick will counter by introducing a product called the Dildance.

Good vibes indeed.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
http://www.drunkard.com/issues/01-02...ooze_rules.htm

I like this one:
24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.

My favorites:

40. If you have ever told a bartender, “Hey, it all spends the same,” then you are a cheap ass.

70. The patrons at your local bar are your extended family, your fathers and mothers, your brothers and sisters. Except you get to sleep with these sisters. And if you're really drunk, the mothers.

75. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious.

78. When you’re in a bar and drunk, your boss is just another guy begging for a fat lip. Unless he’s buying.

61. Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is the equivalent of voluntarily putting your head on a chopping block.

My best friend, whom I have know since high school, owns a bar and has tended bar at a number of places over the years I've known him. One night, shortly before the bar closed, and things were clearing out, one of the patrons (a regular) decided to lay down on floor of the bar, where he eventually passed out. When my friend went to lock up, he noticed him laying on the floor. He checked on him. He then went behind the bar and found a piece of chalk, and drew a chalk outline around the guy.

Closing usually took an hour or two after everybody left for the night, so my friend finished up, called the guy a cab, and then woke him when it arrived. The guy woke up, with chalk smudges on the side of his face and in his hair, and left.

The next night, when everybody came in, the chalk outline was still on the floor. Everybody who knew what went on the night before was very carefully stepping around it, to show respect for the "dead". Those who didn't asked a lot of questions. The poor sap who passed out still takes a lot of ribbing for that episode.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
So do I, as Hank is raising them. Shhh.

This would explain why my daughter asks for enema kits for Xmas every year.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Also found on this site, Paris, before and after surgery.



TM

What was allegedly done? I see blue contacts and bleached hair and a few more years, none of which qualify as surgery.

I used to hate Paris but now I sort of like her. I bet she is a load of fun and would make me feel very mainstream.