It's all about me

[Jack Manfred]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Ladies of the FB, the JAG corps is calling you. Get augmented for free. Do it for America.

The article also allows dependents to get cosmetic surgery. I think this could really improve recruiting for the JAG Corps: Unsatisfied with your job and your wife's chest? You put on the uniform; she puts on something slinky. America wins.

If this worked for reservists...

... and if I had a wife...

... and if she was flat-chested...

Or an even better idea: Free breast augmentations for all Afghanis. That'll make the burkha less popular. They'll be wearing Halter tops and starting up the Kabul branch of Hooters inside of a year.

"You Kharzai staffers are cool; not like those lame warlords that just left. So guys, do you want to start with an order of our Jack Daniels Totally Tikka Mini-Kebabs?"

[Atticus Grinch]

Comatose man given reason to live: Dad offers him Corvette if he wakes up. {Spree: of course he wakes up, dumbass.}

Insert joke about Camaro = restoration of partial brain function.

[LessinSF]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
How many team mates does he have left with him? The USPS team has all nine members, and they have been absolutely DOMINANT when it matters this year. I don't think that anyone high in the GC has the manpower to challenge them.

All this blather about teammates has been bugging me for awhile. So fucking what if Lance has two guys to drag him up the hill and someone else doesn't? Anyone can ride that same train. How am I wrong?

[Not Bob]

So, I went to the pharmacy yesterday to pick up some bubble-gum flavored antibiotic (sue me; we all have our little vices), and a sharp-dressed 40ish dude -- slick hair, crispy white shirt, expensive abstract art tie -- gets to the counter just before I do. Kindly old Doc Wilson, the pharmacist, is just about to ring up his purchase when the phone rings.

While sharp-dressed dude fidgets, Doc gets into a deep conversation about HIPPA or HMO reimbursement or something, and steps away from the register to consult a black three ring binder filled with paper. Just then, a cute high school-aged clerk comes up to the register to ring up SDD's item. I had moved up to the counter next to SDD to look at the brochures on home drug tests for teens ("catch that doper brat of yours in the act!"), and glanced over just as she picked up his item from the counter. Trojans, baby.

Maybe I'm projecting, but it was like one of those cartoon thought bubbles appeared above the clerk's head, with the words "ewww, gross!" inside it in large print. At first I also thought that SDD was embarassed, but then I saw him get into a brand new Corvette (hi, atticus!) and realized that he probably didn't notice anything other than how gooooood he looked in the reflection of the mirror behind the counter.

(and, no, this was not me -- I am not sharp-dressed, and I do not drive a vette)

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by LessinSF
All this blather about teammates has been bugging me for awhile. So fucking what if Lance has two guys to drag him up the hill and someone else doesn't? Anyone can ride that same train. How am I wrong?

Sure, but having teammates who can chase down a break, and/or create a break to stress the rest of the field (like they did in the Pyrennees) can be a huge asset.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by Not Bob
So, I went to the pharmacy yesterday to pick up some bubble-gum flavored antibiotic (sue me; we all have our little vices), and a sharp-dressed 40ish dude -- slick hair, crispy white shirt, expensive abstract art tie -- gets to the counter just before I do. Kindly old Doc Wilson, the pharmacist, is just about to ring up his purchase when the phone rings.

While sharp-dressed dude fidgets, Doc gets into a deep conversation about HIPPA or HMO reimbursement or something, and steps away from the register to consult a black three ring binder filled with paper. Just then, a cute high school-aged clerk comes up to the register to ring up SDD's item. I had moved up to the counter next to SDD to look at the brochures on home drug tests for teens ("catch that doper brat of yours in the act!"), and glanced over just as she picked up his item from the counter. Trojans, baby.

Maybe I'm projecting, but it was like one of those cartoon thought bubbles appeared above the clerk's head, with the words "ewww, gross!" inside it in large print. At first I also thought that SDD was embarassed, but then I saw him get into a brand new Corvette (hi, atticus!) and realized that he probably didn't notice anything other than how gooooood he looked in the reflection of the mirror behind the counter.

(and, no, this was not me -- I am not sharp-dressed, and I do not drive a vette)

He wasn't embarassed. He was trying to pick you up.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Sure, but having teammates who can chase down a break, and/or create a break to stress the rest of the field (like they did in the Pyrennees) can be a huge asset.

Yep. When you're a free-rider, you still need to have someone to free-ride off of.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
He wasn't embarassed. He was trying to pick you up.

He was trying to pick up Not Bob, the pharmacist proper, and the nubile teenage clerk girl for a group thing? Hot.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
He wasn't embarassed. He was trying to pick you up.

As if I'd let him. Everyone knows that guys who drive 'vettes are compensating for their shortcomings.

[LessinSF]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Sure, but having teammates who can chase down a break, and/or create a break to stress the rest of the field (like they did in the Pyrennees) can be a huge asset.

Sure, but that doesn't address all the blather coming out of Paul and Phil about how Lance is in great shape because he has 3 or 5 or whatever of his guys with him in front, or how great it is for Lance to have Landis or Acevedo or Hincapie pull for 5 miles before dropping off for the next one. Basso or Ullrich or whomever is just as benefitted.

Put another way, other than the time trials, why can't Ullrich just be the 10th member of U.S. Postal and shadow Lance. I think the answer is he can, and then it comes down to Lance just being a little bit better and every commentator being utterly full of crap.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by LessinSF
Sure, but that doesn't address all the blather coming out of Paul and Phil about how Lance is in great shape because he has 3 or 5 or whatever of his guys with him in front, or how great it is for Lance to have Landis or Acevedo or Hincapie pull for 5 miles before dropping off for the next one. Basso or Ullrich or whomever is just as benefitted.

Put another way, other than the time trials, why can't Ullrich just be the 10th member of U.S. Postal and shadow Lance. I think the answer is he can, and then it comes down to Lance just being a little bit better and every commentator being utterly full of crap.

Sure, but Jan can't tell the postal guys to speed up or slow down or chase that guy down, etc. Whereas Lance has these guys on a string. A strong team is a huge advantage.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by Not Bob
As if I'd let him. Everyone knows that guys who drive 'vettes are compensating for their shortcomings.

I drive a Prius, wanna party?

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
I drive a Prius, wanna party?

Get that tail over here, fuel-saving monkey!

Wait, are you going to vote for W in the fall?

[LessinSF]

For those who care, the show is going to play out like this:

July 27: The "Wildcard" episode where all five voted-out comics will compete for a wildcard slot in the final rounds of head-to-heads. This will be a chance for viewers to vote for either Bonnie, Todd, ANT, Jay, or Corey.

July 29 (special Thursday episode): The reveal is done for the winner of the wildcard.

August 3: The "Final Six" will compete in an hour-long episode for the "Final Three" spots. Viewers will get to vote for either Tammy, Kathleen, Alonzo, John, Gary, or the "wildcard" winner to make the "Final Three."

August 10: A reveal will be done to show who the "Final Three" are. The three will then do a final head-to-head. Viewers will then get to vote for who they want of the final three to win the competition.

August 12 (special Thursday episode): This will probably be a two-hour finale, much like last year, featuring the ten comics being interviewed by Jay, and then the final reveal to the winner of the show.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
That site gets slower to load every time I check it out.

Every time I tried to check it out this summer, it crashed. The two may be related.