Where the Kids Come to Mouth Off - Page 286

ThurgreedMarshall · 10-20-2004, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LessinSF
Substitute "marshal" or "official" for ump, and you see why golf is the only noble game.

Agreed to a point. It is cool that they call penalties on themselves and (rarely) argue with an official. But do you close your ears when Ernie or Colin or Sergio whine like little babies about how harsh the weather conditions are that they are forced to play under or how unfair the course is because of it's set-up or fast greens or deep rough or whatever, even though everyone has to play the same 18 holes?

TM

ltl/fb · 10-20-2004, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I disagree. I don't like the Yankees in theory because they buy pennants, but then they redeem themselves by coming close to grasping defeat from the jaws of victory, as they're presently doing. Besides, you need a marquis team to hate. The Yankees fill that role.

The most annoying fans alive are IMO,

1. Braves fans. If baseball were a housing development, the Braves would be the biggest ugliest McMansion of all. You want to talk about a bought-and-paid-for team...

2. Duke fans. You wanted to go there and didn't get in. You got rejected... why the hell do you still have a hard on for the place? If college basketball were music, Duke would be Dave Matthews.

3. Eagles fans. Yeh, this year you have something to really get excited about, but you'd stupidly tell me how "awesome the Birds are gonna be" if half their offense died in a plane crash.

4. Notre Dame fans. See "Duke" above. You morons have forced me to watch your shitty team (albeit I like Ty) for years when NBC should have been broadcasting real games. And year in year out, you get more ranking inflation than UCLA.

So, w/r/t Duke and Notre Dame, are fans who actually did go to the school OK? Or whose kids went/go to the school?

10-20-2004, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Not recently broken up, but I'm beginning to think that I need to acquire a cat or two to cement the spinster status.

I have a spare if you are interested.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy · 10-20-2004, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by taxwonk
Actually, the onions should be sliced as thin as possible. Lyonnaise doesn't mean wedges. See the definition above.

I'm going to be checking my cookbooks tonight. In Gwink's honor, I will dress in a t-shirt with a pack of smokes rolled up in the arm while I do so. But I've always considered the Lyonnaise method those thinly cut wedged half-slices. Thin, yes, but still wedges.

But anything sliced is still too big. Chop 'em. Chop 'em all.

Dave · 10-20-2004, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Since I'm not planning on biting through, let alone chewing, the fibrousness is a non-issue. As long as it's not affirmatively un-tasty, I'm good. It's not really about the flavor, at least for me. It's more a mouthfeel thing.

Kudos for use of the word "mouthfeel". Nicely done.

10-20-2004, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Question for the women: Would a small penis be a deal breaker for you?

Edited to clarify smallness: "Maybe three inches and not very wide. Maybe a little room for growth, but not much."

Definitely.

sebastian_dangerfield · 10-20-2004, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
So, w/r/t Duke and Notre Dame, are fans who actually did go to the school OK? Or whose kids went/go to the school?

The former is acceptable, the latter is only acceptable if the parent is not a reject of the school. Actually, on second thought, no... rooting for your kid's school is lame. The latter is not acceptable. I'll be sure to put it in my forthcoming "You're a Fucking Tool If" by Sebastian Dangerfield, Know It All Extraordinaire.

"As usual, disjointed and nonsensical." - NYTimes

"This is a book? I thought it was a manifesto. Mine's just a pile of stapled papers." - Newsday

"An idiot. There's really nothing else to be said." - Harper's

"I didn't read it. But it stinks." - LA Times

"Its bound nicely." - Village Voice

ThurgreedMarshall · 10-20-2004, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
The former is acceptable, the latter is only acceptable if the parent is not a reject of the school. Actually, on second thought, no... rooting for your kid's school is lame. The latter is not acceptable. I'll be sure to put it in my forthcoming "You're a Fucking Tool If" by Sebastian Dangerfield, Know It All Extraordinaire.

"As usual, disjointed and nonsensical." - NYTimes

"This is a book? I thought it was a manifesto. Mine's just a pile of stapled papers." - Newsday

"An idiot. There's really nothing else to be said." - Harper's

"I didn't read it. But it stinks." - LA Times

"Its bound nicely." - Village Voice

You forgot one.

"An instant classic. Everyone knows that we're mostly correct when we say that SD couldn't be more full of shit!" - USA Today

TM

Bad_Rich_Chic · 10-20-2004, 02:28 PM

Croc is so overdone now. I am shifting my attention to ostrich as my exotic leather of choice, but I am open to other suggestions. Does anyone own anything made out of stingray? Is it as weird as it seems? I remember eel being really soft when it came in during thelate '80s, but I also remember it being sort of slimey.

I am seriously toying with the idea of getting a vintage, swing-style astrakhan coat for my pregnant sister this winter. (Fuzzy furs are just so overdone blah blah blah.) She is likely to get huge (if past performance is an indicator of future prospects), but the maternity clothes of hers that I've seen are just so bad I am dying to get her something kicky to wear, and a swing coat (I'm aiming for a bust measurement of 48 waist 54 or so) should give her plenty of room. Any opinions (other than from the vegans)? She does live somewhere cold enough to justify (arguably) fur. I am hoping she will be able to wear it without looking like the love child of a grizzly bear and Jabba the Hut. I was considering finding her a big leopard print coat instead, but it may be too extreme (and she may not get it).

Replaced_Texan · 10-20-2004, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
questions about winter clothes.

It's 92 degrees here, the concept of fur at this point makes me shudder.

sebastian_dangerfield · 10-20-2004, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
Croc is so overdone now. I am shifting my attention to ostrich as my exotic leather of choice, but I am open to other suggestions. Does anyone own anything made out of stingray? Is it as weird as it seems? I remember eel being really soft when it came in during thelate '80s, but I also remember it being sort of slimey.

I am seriously toying with the idea of getting a vintage, swing-style astrakhan coat for my pregnant sister this winter. (Fuzzy furs are just so overdone blah blah blah.) She is likely to get huge (if past performance is an indicator of future prospects), but the maternity clothes of hers that I've seen are just so bad I am dying to get her something kicky to wear, and a swing coat (I'm aiming for a bust measurement of 48 waist 54 or so) should give her plenty of room. Any opinions (other than from the vegans)? She does live somewhere cold enough to justify (arguably) fur. I am hoping she will be able to wear it without looking like the love child of a grizzly bear and Jabba the Hut. I was considering finding her a big leopard print coat instead, but it may be too extreme (and she may not get it).

I don't know much about shopping for the pregnant or morbidly obese, but isn't buying a huge fur for a chick who's going to drop the weight soon kinda silly? I like to waste money as much as the next guy, but that seems a bit wasteful. Won't it be just a huge fur mumu after she pops out the kid? 48 waist is pretty damn big. John Goodman big.

Bad_Rich_Chic · 10-20-2004, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I don't know much about shopping for the pregnant or morbidly obese, but isn't buying a huge fur for a chick who's going to drop the weight soon kinda silly? I like to waste money as much as the next guy, but that seems a bit wasteful. Won't it be just a huge fur mumu after she pops out the kid? 48 waist is pretty damn big. John Goodman big.

If past performance is an indicator of future prospects, the weight won't be coming off that soon.

Also, I am thinking "vintage" (otherwise known as "used with an overinflated sense of worth") for a reason other than the prevalence of swing-styles in the '50s and '60s - I'm not going to blow any more on this than I would on her Xmas gift otherwise; neighborhood of $100-150, max. I've spent more on a coat I ended up wearing one season only.

taxwonk · 10-20-2004, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Please tell me someone got the "fingerling potatoes" "small penises" joke.

I like the italicization of the fancy foreign words. It made me feel uncultured, like I'm someone who would write about penis size in a public forum.

I just assumed you were looking for food you could swallow whole, to save time.

ltl/fb · 10-20-2004, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by taxwonk
I just assumed you were looking for food you could swallow whole, to save time.

As you well know, this is the one advantage small-penised men have. Total surround-mouth without the gagging that can accompany deep throating. Bet you love that, hm?

Anne Elk · 10-20-2004, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I want to see a battle of the bullpens.

That happened last year.