Drive fast, live hard, no regrets... Sorry Penske

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by ironweed
It's the month after Zeptember. Don't you know anything?

Apropos of this, I heard a concert advertisement on the radio yesterday featuring the all female tribute band "Lez Zeppelin". I have no idea how this idea comes off when executed, but in theory, it struck me as pretty clever.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Then he would fill a bathtub with water as hot as he could stand it. He would get in, and take a sharp knife and flex his left arm, until the arteries and veins were bulging. He would dig the knife into his flesh along an artery and pull it up his arm, watching the impossibly red blood flow from the wound like it had finally escaped a lifetime of imprisonment. Then he would do the same to his right arm, and lie back.

At least you know that it's not across the street, but down the highway.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
He would grow woozy, and then be struck with a final pre-death clarity, understanding just how deeply his mother would grieve his death. And suddenly, he would want to take it all back, undo the cutting and the bleeding. But it would be too late. And he would sink unconscious into the bath waters.

Not Bob of 2001 would have grieved, too. Even if PLF 2001 hated him officially.

Also, I would have hoped that PLF 2001 cleaned up his porn first. I'd hate to think of your mother (or Fugee of 2001) finding you dead in the bathtub, surrounded by your extensive collection of Pistil and Stamen Monthly.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
PLF 2001 would be stunned. He would sit back and think of what could be and what had actually happened to him, and he would weep for his future. Then he would pull himself back together and go on a long walk and think about what it means to be a moral being in this world, and what responsibilities he might owe others, including the responsibility to prevent the infliction of Flower 2005 on those others. And he would ponder inevitability.

Then, he would go and purchase the most expensive bottle of scotch in his local liquor store, and he would pour himself a glass, neat. And then another. And another. And he would think of the woman he loved. And the child(ren) that would never be. And he would think of the fun that he had experienced, and the regrets that came with it. And he would take a drink for the women he had hurt, and the friends he had neglected.

Then he would fill a bathtub with water as hot as he could stand it. He would get in, and take a sharp knife and flex his left arm, until the arteries and veins were bulging. He would dig the knife into his flesh along an artery and pull it up his arm, watching the impossibly red blood flow from the wound like it had finally escaped a lifetime of imprisonment. Then he would do the same to his right arm, and lie back.

He would grow woozy, and then be struck with a final pre-death clarity, understanding just how deeply his mother would grieve his death. And suddenly, he would want to take it all back, undo the cutting and the bleeding. But it would be too late. And he would sink unconscious into the bath waters.

When I think how carefully you watched your diet and exercised all these years, I would have guessed a really rich dinner with organ meats and elaborate chocolates desserts would have been prebath, now that it wouldn't matter.

Would you play music? It sounds like about an hour process- what 2 CD's would you play?

I would play Grand Funk Railroad's e pluribus Funk first to easy me in. I think cutting would be timed for the start of the second disc. something by Melt Banana, probably, because that always helps me focus on making sure I wanted to go through with something.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
PLF 2001 would be stunned. He would sit back and think of what could be and what had actually happened to him, and he would weep for his future. Then he would pull himself back together and go on a long walk and think about what it means to be a moral being in this world, and what responsibilities he might owe others, including the responsibility to prevent the infliction of Flower 2005 on those others. And he would ponder inevitability.

Then, he would go and purchase the most expensive bottle of scotch in his local liquor store, and he would pour himself a glass, neat. And then another. And another. And he would think of the woman he loved. And the child(ren) that would never be. And he would think of the fun that he had experienced, and the regrets that came with it. And he would take a drink for the women he had hurt, and the friends he had neglected.

Then he would fill a bathtub with water as hot as he could stand it. He would get in, and take a sharp knife and flex his left arm, until the arteries and veins were bulging. He would dig the knife into his flesh along an artery and pull it up his arm, watching the impossibly red blood flow from the wound like it had finally escaped a lifetime of imprisonment. Then he would do the same to his right arm, and lie back.

He would grow woozy, and then be struck with a final pre-death clarity, understanding just how deeply his mother would grieve his death. And suddenly, he would want to take it all back, undo the cutting and the bleeding. But it would be too late. And he would sink unconscious into the bath waters.

Get your own shtick, you uncreative bastard. I invented wishing I were dead rather than working...

[Ty@50]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Get your own shtick, you uncreative bastard. I invented wishing I were dead rather than working...

He actually drops down to doing Gilligan's Island posts a few years from now.

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Get your own shtick, you uncreative bastard. I invented wishing I were dead rather than working...

I thought you invented eating magical excrement that would free you from ever having to work again. I didn't think you were in a total tailspin like PLF 2005.

Since we're staking out territory here, I invented drinking myself to death over a somewhat-longer-than-Nicholas-Cage-in-Leaving-Las-Vegas timeframe. Since I apparently have the liver of a 65-year old (according to some observers) I can't be too far away from the gentle kiss and sweet respite of large-scale organ failure.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Passing out somewhere on campus does not qualify as "attending".

Then I have big problems.

TM

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Not Bob
I have officially become one of those people that I hate -- I just heard myself calling an associate named Mike "Mike-o."

Did you have the double finger-guns blazin'?

TM

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Can we ban people who claim not to know that song from posting here on the basis that they are not possibly old enough to be a lawyer?

I am 31 and I do not recall that song at all. Then again, I tended to listen to all Menudo, all the time.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Did you have the double finger-guns blazin'?

TM

[IMG]http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=two+in+the+pink+one+in+the+stink/v=2/SID=e/l=IVS/SIG=13g18n80g/EXP=1125153901/*-http%3A//images.somethingawful.com/inserts/articlepics/photoshop/06-11-04-smokey/CosmoDNA1.jpg[/IMG]

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
[IMG]http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=two+in+the+pink+one+in+the+stink/v=2/SID=e/l=IVS/SIG=13g18n80g/EXP=1125153901/*-http%3A//images.somethingawful.com/inserts/articlepics/photoshop/06-11-04-smokey/CosmoDNA1.jpg[/IMG]

I recommend that you incorporate this sage advice somewhere in your speech/best wishes message this weekend.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by spookyfish
I recommend that you incorporate this sage advice somewhere in your speech/best wishes message this weekend.

That would be a real "shocker".

[Replaced_Texan]

Had to happen sooner or later. (spree: article)

[dtb]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Had to happen sooner or later. (spree: article)

Why are they wearing clothing? The females are wearing a lot more than fig leaves. They should just have long hair as in all those artworks of the Garden of Eden.