Fashion Board 2-3-04 to 3-5-04

[dtb]

Originally posted by evenodds
I once dated a married man. I didn't know he was married [...]

Unless you ask, and sometimes, like my situation when you do ask and they lie, you just never know.

I have a friend who dated a married man. After a while, she suspected he was married (it was never one thing, just an accumulation of little things), but when she asked him, he would lie.

So unless this guy is affirmatively out to deceive (which is always a possibility, I grant you), it seems highly unusual that the subject wouldn't be raised in the course of several hours of conversation.

ETA: So, to answer the question, I would mention it on the off-chance that she doesn't know/realize what's going on. (It might be somewhat difficult to bring up without sounding judgmental, but not impossible. You could just mention how you went to his wedding last year -- or whenever.) Then, butt out.

If I were friends with the dude's wife, however, my view might be different (but it doesn't sound like that's what's going on here...), as I would feel an obligation to my friend to let her know what's going on.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I wear a ring and my name clearly indicates two last names. I bring Mr. Kiss places and talk about him often. Half my office still assumes I am single. Even people who have met Mr. Kiss. It's creepy.

You should quit flirting with people in your office, then.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
He could be thinking that there is no romantic interest (flirting does not necessarily equate with interest).

Really? Huh. That explains A LOT.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss

I wear a ring and my name clearly indicates two last names. I bring Mr. Kiss places and talk about him often. Half my office still assumes I am single. Even people who have met Mr. Kiss. It's creepy.

I tried wearing a married friend's ring just to see what would happen regarding hitting on chicks, but it creeped me out and I couldn't go through with it...I'm still ashamed for having some semblance of morality. Luckily, in most other aspects, I'm completely amoral.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by spookyfish
You should quit flirting with people in your office, then.

Or stop dating altogether . . .

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous
Should I tell her he's married?

Why wouldn't you? It's not like you'd be telling his wife that he allegedly flirted with a 1L.

And you don't have to do it in a morally judgmental way. Just mention it in passing. "GP is a great guy, you know, he went to LS with my husband and we frequently see him and his wife socially." This way you wouldn't be obviously suggesting that anything unseemly was happening or about to. Nonjudgmental.

ETA: what dtb (my doppelganger) said.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by spookyfish
You should quit flirting with people in your office, then.

Bitch please.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I tried wearing a married friend's ring just to see what would happen regarding hitting on chicks, but it creeped me out and I couldn't go through with it...

Coltrane,

I don't get it. Why the hell would you do this? Was this some sort of paid experiment for a study at the University's Psych school? Were psychotropics involved?

Usually guys try to make it easier on themselves when trying to pick someone up, not harder.

[Aloha Mr. Learned Hand]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I tried wearing a married friend's ring just to see what would happen regarding hitting on chicks, but it creeped me out and I couldn't go through with it...I'm still ashamed for having some semblance of morality. Luckily, in most other aspects, I'm completely amoral.

I'm no magnet for the ladies, but over the years in certain social contexts I've had to explain to a couple rather flirtatious ladies that I'm married. One in particular when I was out with a group of friends at a neighborhood bar required me to remove her tongue from my ear.

Wear my ring all of the time and don't hide it. Bring Mrs. Hand up in conversation as well, but it still didn't seem to stop them.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
ETA: what dtb (my doppelganger) said.

Then perhaps a change of avatar is in order.



Also, I agree with your advice. It seems obvious, and doesn't come across as being a loaded statement.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Gattigap
Coltrane,

I don't get it. Why the hell would you do this? Was this some sort of paid experiment for a study at the University's Psych school? Were psychotropics involved?

Usually guys try to make it easier on themselves when trying to pick someone up, not harder.

I think he should do it. Wear the/a ring for a while to get used to it (so it doesn't feel all freaky) and then go out with it on and act like he always does. Then report back. Fascinating.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Aloha Mr. Learned Hand
Wear my ring all of the time and don't hide it. Bring Mrs. Hand up in conversation as well

Joke 1. That is so hot!

Joke 2. Maybe when you refer to her as "Mrs. Hand," they assume you are actually very alone.

I'm indecisive today.

[MisterEbola]

Originally posted by Not Me
A friend of mine's husband has begun to bug her for anal sex. They have been married about 5 years. She refuses. I am on her side on this. Too bad for him; he should have done that before getting married if he wanted that experience in life. However, this is becoming an issue in her marriage. I think he is an asshole (pun intended) and she should divorce him if anal sex (or lack thereof) is starting to cause problems in their marriage.

Nice to see nothing ever, ever changes around here.

Oh well, back to the brief.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Gattigap
Coltrane,

I don't get it. Why the hell would you do this? Was this some sort of paid experiment for a study at the University's Psych school? Were psychotropics involved?

Usually guys try to make it easier on themselves when trying to pick someone up, not harder.

Friend + wife at a bar said "here, put it on and see what happens." So I did. You could call it a social experiment, but it wasn't very scientific.

[Aloha Mr. Learned Hand]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Joke 1. That is so hot!

Joke 2. Maybe when you refer to her as "Mrs. Hand," they assume you are actually very alone.

I'm indecisive today.

Ba dum bum ching!

Nicely done.