Fashion Board 2-3-04 to 3-5-04

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
You should be embarrassed by this post. No one gives that much of a shit. No one gives a shit if you or anyone thinks she's funny. No one gives a shit if he's respected or not. No one gives a shit if she repeats herself. No one gives a shit about this little internet forum that you seem to hold in such high esteem. It's an insignificant outlet for bored people to post about things they don't give a shit about.

You are full of shit and are lying to us and yourself.

You spend a lot of time here. As much as me. You get all pissy when someone (usually paigow) attacks you. You care. Just like everyone else. And you should be ashamed of yourself for acting like you don't. And if you really don't, get lost.

Everyone cares what gets posted here. It is a welcomed distraction to our mundane jobs. When it gets boring and repetitive over here people say so. I bet you've said, "Enough with the [insert boring thread here] let's get back to the tits" plenty of times.

So spare me. You're above no one on this board in terms of how cool you think you are. If you felt the way you think you're coming across, you would spend roughly zero time here.

TM

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Me too, and with some popular John Donne:

Donne and Marvel here , to save you all the effort to scroll through 4 long verses. Although it seemed kinkier in 7th grade.

[ABBAKiss]

Is anyone actually reading all these shitty poems? I think I am a sound/sight bite person. Solid text or line and line of blahditty blah blah poetry is booooooooorrrrring.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Everyone cares what gets posted here.

Anyone who remembers TM's exigesis on how to give a blowjob knows that he really, really cares. Like, in a kinda squicky way. NTTAWWT.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
This puts me in mind of a Poll: How many of us would rather be English professors?

Maybe one day a week.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Is anyone actually reading all these shitty poems?

No.

I rarely read anything that shows up onthe screen like that. So I miss all the paigow IM conversations, many song parodies, etc.

I did read Hank's post, but only because my name was in the title. I don't remember sleeping with anyone from any English classes (and I doubt I took any 300 level English classes), but then I don't remember college (or who all I've slept with) all THAT well.

[barely_legal]

Originally posted by Apropos of Nothing
Apro...uh, by the way, I still find the Fred thing amusing. Perhaps a bit overused, but still amusing.

And Atticus, dude, Andrew Marvell is better than that dope-riddled idiot's Xanadu any day.

My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow;
An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.
For, Lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate.

I swear to God (not Fred) that an ex-boyfriend tried to recite that poem to me to try to get me to sleep with him (he knew I was a virgin at the time). But he wasn't an English major (I was) so he kept fucking up the lines and I had to keep correcting him. He didn't get lucky (that night).

The grave's a fine and private place
But none I think do there embrace

(I didn't google so don't bother pointing out if I got a syllable wrong)

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by bilmore
If the wife should go wrong with a comrade, be loath
To shoot when you catch him -- you'll swing, on my oath! --
Make him take her and keep her: that's Hell for them both,
And you're shut of the curse of a soldier.
Curse, curse, curse of a soldier . . .

When first under fire and you're wishful to duck,
Don't look nor take heed at the man that is struck,
Be thankful you're living, and trust to your luck
And march to your front like a soldier.
Front, front, front like a soldier . . .

When half of your bullets fly wide in the ditch,
Don't call your Martini a cross-eyed old bitch;
She's human as you are -- you treat her as such,
And she'll fight for the young British soldier.
Fight, fight, fight for the soldier . . .

When shaking their bustles like ladies so fine,
The guns of the enemy wheel into line,
Shoot low at the limbers and don't mind the shine,
For noise never startles the soldier.
Start-, start-, startles the soldier . . .

If your officer's dead and the sergeants look white,
Remember it's ruin to run from a fight:
So take open order, lie down, and sit tight,
And wait for supports like a soldier.
Wait, wait, wait like a soldier . . .

When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
And go to your God like a soldier.
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
So-oldier of the Queen!

Kipling's poetry improves if you translate it out of the 'orrible Cockney accent. (Hank -- this thought originally George Orwell's.)

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
This puts me in mind of a Poll: Post the full text or best fragment of your favorite poem. Extra credit for extensive sexual metaphor.

I am, I said
To no one there
And no one heard a word
Not even the chair.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Le Feu

This is a poem by Eugène Ionesco, as recited by Mary, the housekeeper, in Ionesco's play La Cantatrice Chauve, or, The Bald Soprano.

Les polycandres brillaient dans les bois
Une pierre prit feu
Le château prit feu
La fôret prit feu
Les hommes prirent feu
Les femmes prirent feu
Les oiseaux prirent feu
Les poissons prirent feu
L'eau prit feu
Le ciel prit feu
La cendre prit feu
La fumée prit feu
Le feu prit feu
Tout prit feu
Prit feu, prit feu.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Poll: Post the full text or best fragment of your favorite poem. Extra credit for extensive sexual metaphor.

Not my favorite poem, or even my favorite smut, but since people seem to be in a mood for dirty lymerics ...

There were three young ladies from Birmingham
And here is the scandal concerning them:
They pulled up the frock
And they tickled the cock
Of the Bishop busy confirming them.

Now this Bishop was nobody's fool
(He'd gone to a good public school).
He pulled down their britches
And buggered those bitches
With his ten-inch Episcopal tool.

But then the lady from Verdue
Said as this Bishop withdrew:
"The Vicar is quicker
And thicker and slicker
And longer and stronger than you."

BR(I do have a favorite porno poem, but I have to go home to get the book and turn to the place where it falls open - maybe I'll post part of it this weekend)C

[Sidd Finch]

According to the elevator, where I get all my news, the CEO of Smith & Wesson stepped down because they discovered that he spent 15 years in prison for armed robbery.



If you can't believe the elevator, who can you believe?

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Le Feu

This is a poem by Eugène Ionesco, as recited by Mary, the housekeeper, in Ionesco's play La Cantatrice Chauve, or, The Bald Soprano.

Les polycandres brillaient dans les bois
Une pierre prit feu
Le château prit feu
La fôret prit feu
Les hommes prirent feu
Les femmes prirent feu
Les oiseaux prirent feu
Les poissons prirent feu
L'eau prit feu
Le ciel prit feu
La cendre prit feu
La fumée prit feu
Le feu prit feu
Tout prit feu
Prit feu, prit feu.

This post makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Is anyone actually reading all these shitty poems?

Effing heathen.

[Aloha Mr. Learned Hand]

Michael Jackson was pulled over by police in Colorado after shopping at a local Wal-Mart while wearing a ski mask.

That's a good way not to draw attention...

Did he not want to be seen, period, or not want to be seen in a Wal-Mart?

In other news, Bobby Brown was sentenced to 60 days in jail for violating probation...

Every little step I take... Bubba will be there.