Fashion Board 4-6-04 to 5-7-04

[Berry Hunter]

Originally posted by Not Me
"We Built This City" is the single worst single ever constructed, according to Blender's ranking of reeking tunes.

Possibly the first music magazine poll result ever that I agree with wholeheartedly. The soundtrack in hell is an endless loop of this song.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by mmm3587
Dear my sweetest Ms. ltl/fb,

Maybe you know and talk to more straight guys than I do. I really don't know. Or maybe they are more honest with you more than they are with me. After all, they have no incentive to lie to an attractive, straight, single woman, right?

I think that it is a common misconception of straight women that straight men are easy to figure out and always mean what they say. Hey, maybe you are even right. I don't know, since maybe all the straight men I know (who, honestly, I don't want to fuck or romance and who, I'm pretty sure don't want to fuck or romance me) are just scamming me for my excellent company.

I'll also discount the possibility that I know only rich guys or middle class guys who don't need someone to buy them drinks, because I've hung out with all manner of guys throughout my life, including those who would gladly accept a free drink from just about anyone.

But, all those qualifiers noted, I just don't think that there are a lot of truly straight guys out there who are out there getting drinks from gay men with the unspoken pretense that there is a potential cornholing or cockswallowing in the offing. It may be a pride thing, it may be a curiousity thing, it may be a "the scammer has to buy into the scam every so often" sort of thing, but straight guys just don't run scams like that. See, for example, Six Degrees of Separation, right?

All I'm saying is, there may be differences in percentage in the extent to which guys end up fucking or romancing gay men who buy drinks for them and the extent to which women end up fucking or romancing straight men who buy drinks for them, but don't try to act like like it's quantum. Ultimately, guys buy drinks for strangers in whom they hope to be burying their johnsons, and they are pretty good at figuring out those who are, at least in theory, amenable to the nature of johnson-burying in which they are interested.

Sincerely,
mmm

1. Straight men lie more than any other creature on the planet. Most women have no idea what we're thinking other than being correct that we probably do want to fuck them. The "straight men are so simple" misconception is the greatest stereotype ever invented, and we exploit it to maximum effect. When I was single, I learned very quickly - for reasons amply explained through my wiriting on this board - that opening my mouth would not get me laid. If I played the dependable, uncomplicated solid guy with a positive sense of humor, I got what I came for. The guy who seems complicated and tries to impress you with his intellect - he's probably simple. The guy who's guardded but friendly and seems very fucking stable, he's acting. And if he's effective, he's a damn smart man you probably ought to stick with. Its really impossible to play against your natural personality. I'd always come unravelled from too many drinks and start saying what I really thought. My sole saving grace was that she'd usually be pretty drunk and let it slide. I don't think I ever fucked a non-drinker, for a lot of reasons, and that's fine with me.

2. Any guy of any stripe will let you buy him a drink. I've had gay guys buy me drinks. I didn't know or care whether they thought they'd be 'getting any' later. All I knew was it was a free drink. You'd have to be one dumbass cat to turn down a free fucking drink from anyone.

3. Straight guys don't trawl gay bars for drinks. Guys want eye candy in a bar. Like anyone else, I can appreciate a good looking man in the sense of "Damn, Sean Connery as Bond was a good lookin cat." But men certainly don't want to look at men when they're drinking. I want to oogle some t&a... watch a few asses saunter by and check out some racks. Maybe make some playful eye contact with a cute chick across the bar. Hey, once you're hitched, these little pleasures are all you got "on the side".

4. Only 20% of men know how to pick the woman who will be receptive to johnson-burying. This is a very unique skill the other 80% will claim to have, but their on base percentage will say otherwise. Most of us are clueless and its hit or miss. If we banned alcohol, most single American males would never get laid again.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by dtb
His voice really is beautiful, which I didn't notice on the radio, as I was so distracted by trying to figure out whether a Jesus song was actually that mainstream.

And here I was thinking you were listening to more rap.

Jesus Walks
Kanye West
The College Dropout

I need to recruit all the soldiers
All of god’s soldiers
We at War
We at war with society, racism …terrorism, but most of all we at war wit ourselves

Jesus Walk- God show me the way because the devil tryna break me down
Jesus Walk With Me

Yo, We at war
We at war with terrorism, racism but most of all we at war with ourselves
(Jesus Walks)
God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down
(Jesus Walks with me) with me with me with me [fades]

You know what the Midwest is?
Young & Restless
Where restless Niggaz might snatch your necklace
And next these Niggaz might jack your Lexus
Somebody tell these Niggaz who Kanye West is
I walk through the valley where the shadow of death is
Top floor the view alone will leave you breathless Uhhhh!
Try to catch it Uhhhh! It's kinda hard
Getting choked by the detectives yeah yeah
now check the method
They be asking us questions, harass and arrest us
Saying "we eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast"
Huh? Yall eat pieces of shit? What's the basis?
We ain't going nowhere but got suits and cases
A trunk full of coke, rental car from Avis
My momma used to say only Jesus can save us
Well momma I know I act a fool...But I'll be gone til November
I got packs to move I Hope

[HOOK x2]
(Jesus Walks)
God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down
(Jesus Walks with me)
The only thing that I pray is that me feet don't fail me now
(Jesus Walks)
And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs
(Jesus Walks with me)
I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long

To the hustlas, killers, murderers, drug dealers even the strippers
To the victims of Welfare for we living in hell here hell yeah
Now hear ye hear ye want to see Thee more clearly
I know he hear me when my feet get weary
Cuz we're the almost nearly extinct
We rappers are role models we rap we don't think
I ain't here to argue about his facial features
Or here to convert atheists into believers
I'm just trying to say the way school need teachers
The way Kathie Lee needed Regis that's the way yall need Jesus
So here go my single dog radio needs this
They say you can rap about anything except for Jesus
That means guns, sex, lies, video tapes
But if I talk about God my record won't get played Huh?
Well let this take away from my spins
Which will probably take away from my ends
Then I hope this take away from my sins
And bring the day that I'm dreaming about
Next time I'm in the club everybody screaming out

(Jesus Walks)
God show me the way because the devil trying to break me down
(Jesus Walks)
The only thing that I pray is that me feet don't fail me now

TM

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
1. Straight men lie more than any other creature on the planet. Most women have no idea what we're thinking other than being correct that we probably do want to fuck them. The "straight men are so simple" misconception is the greatest stereotype ever invented, and we exploit it to maximum effect. When I was single, I learned very quickly - for reasons amply explained through my wiriting on this board - that opening my mouth would not get me laid. If I played the dependable, uncomplicated solid guy with a positive sense of humor, I got what I came for. The guy who seems complicated and tries to impress you with his intellect - he's probably simple. The guy who's guardded but friendly and seems very fucking stable, he's acting. And if he's effective, he's a damn smart man you probably ought to stick with. Its really impossible to play against your natural personality. I'd always come unravelled from too many drinks and start saying what I really thought. My sole saving grace was that she'd usually be pretty drunk and let it slide. I don't think I ever fucked a non-drinker, for a lot of reasons, and that's fine with me.

2. Any guy of any stripe will let you buy him a drink. I've had gay guys buy me drinks. I didn't know or care whether they thought they'd be 'getting any' later. All I knew was it was a free drink. You'd have to be one dumbass cat to turn down a free fucking drink from anyone.

3. Straight guys don't trawl gay bars for drinks. Guys want eye candy in a bar. Like anyone else, I can appreciate a good looking man in the sense of "Damn, Sean Connery as Bond was a good lookin cat." But men certainly don't want to look at men when they're drinking. I want to oogle some t&a... watch a few asses saunter by and check out some racks. Maybe make some playful eye contact with a cute chick across the bar. Hey, once you're hitched, these little pleasures are all you got "on the side".

4. Only 20% of men know how to pick the woman who will be receptive to johnson-burying. This is a very unique skill the other 80% will claim to have, but their on base percentage will say otherwise. Most of us are clueless and its hit or miss. If we banned alcohol, most single American males would never get laid again.

Johnson?

I thought Johnsone burying, as S2ed said it was referring to a crying game type tihng, not coitus.

[Berry Hunter]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
1. Straight men lie more than any other creature on the planet. ... "straight men are so simple" ... If we banned alcohol, most single American males would never get laid again.

Nicely stated, Captain Obvious.

BH

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I have no problems with Minis. They're like those new Beetles. They make the statement "I'm an utter idiot" in advance. If I'm waiting to meet someone and they pull up in one of those $20k plus golf carts, I need not waste time on conversation. If you're driving a mini, I've got a bag of tech stocks to sell you. Really hot internet hosting shit.

Typical SD crap.

I rented one in Vegas. Great car. Handles amazingly. The turbo has quick. It's fun and makes sense to own if you don't need to haul around kids and other stuff. If I lost my mind and bought a car to keep in the city, this would be it. Park it anywhere.

TM

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Berry Hunter
Nicely stated, Captain Obvious.

BH

Nicely edited to remove the entire middle and cull it down to its simplest points, asshole.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Typical SD crap.

I rented one in Vegas. Great car. Handles amazingly. The turbo has quick. It's fun and makes sense to own if you don't need to haul around kids and other stuff. If I lost my mind and bought a car to keep in the city, this would be it. Park it anywhere.

TM

You want to advertise being a sucker, be my guest. They can't jail anyone for being stupid.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
You want to advertise being a sucker, be my guest. They can't jail anyone for being stupid.

What's the sucker play, not enough sheet metal for the money? Keep telling yourself that Chevy Impala is the shiznit.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Berry Hunter
Possibly the first music magazine poll result ever that I agree with wholeheartedly. The soundtrack in hell is an endless loop of this song.

Wait a minute, you're busting my balls for being obvious, then in the same breath you're posting this drivel. Here is wisdom, shmuck...

When you post, post something of substance, be it inane or wrong, or whatever, but make it at least mildly amusing or incendiary or at least somewhat thought provoking, even if redundant, as yours truly can be.

DO NOT post "Yeh, this list is so dead on!" This is a particularly annoying post since you've chosen to agree that Starship's "We Built This City" is the worst song of all time. Its tantamount ot saying "Fuck, yes... Hitler's politics were terribly offensive!"

Post an original thought or don't post.

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Typical SD crap.

I rented one in Vegas. Great car. Handles amazingly. The turbo has quick. It's fun and makes sense to own if you don't need to haul around kids and other stuff. If I lost my mind and bought a car to keep in the city, this would be it. Park it anywhere.

TM

I am with SD. I would say, get a real car, man . THough I suppose its the equivalent of owning a maltese or pomeranian- shows that you are secure in your masculinity.

[Berry Hunter]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Nicely edited to remove the entire middle and cull it down to its simplest points, asshole.

So VERY sorry to have culled out the part about free drinks being good, assless wonder. With this crowd, that ought to be an earth-is-not-flat-seque accepted fact.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
What's the sucker play, not enough sheet metal for the money? Keep telling yourself that Chevy Impala is the shiznit.

VWs and Minis are McCars. They're shitboxes made of recycled beer cans sold to dumbass 23 year old girls who don't know any better, or the goateed moron who says "Brother, you should try the peppermint latte" at Starbucks.

"Do I look like the sort of guy who buys a fucking peppermint coffee?"

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Berry Hunter
So VERY sorry to have culled out the part about free drinks being good, assless wonder. With this crowd, that ought to be an earth-is-not-flat-seque accepted fact.

Jerry Fucking Cooney.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by spookyfish
(And other reality TV junkies.)

If you are interested to know what some of your favorite Reality TV "characters" are doing now, A&E is running an edition of Biography devoted to this subject tonight.

Link:

http://www.biography.com/tv/listings...itytv_new.html

This might make the tivo list tonight. The best part is that it promises to capture all the media whores who have been desperately trying to find a way for another 15 minutes. The dregs of the reality tv crowd. I mean, really, who wonders what Trista and Ryan are up to anyway? Now that they've been out of the limelight for approximately 7 minutes.