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Old 03-07-2005, 11:47 AM   #2071
greatwhitenorthchick
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Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
I recommend leaving an oversized sweater in the office. Just in case.
I doubt you'd recommend that if you worked with me.
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Old 03-07-2005, 11:57 AM   #2072
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So as part of my son's social studies curriculum, each kid is having a representative (or representatives) of his or her family come it to talk about something. It can be anything really; your family's hobbies, family history, your job, whatever.

So, it's my turn this Friday, and of course I have the problem that any of us would have -- namely, our jobs are lame and boring, and kindergardeners could not care less about what lawyers do --but I have an additional hurdle: last week's visitor.

Last week's person was the father of a girl in the class. He's a secret service agent. So, not only did he show them his gun, the baton thing that shoots out of a handle, the handcuffs, the microphone-up-the-sleeve, and a bunch of other gadgets, but he gave them all presidential trading cards, stickers, little "Big Apple - Secret Service" badges (my son wore his all weekend) and a signed photo of GWB. But that's not all!!! He led the kids downstairs, where there was a bevy of secret service agents guarding the presidential limousine. The street had been closed off, and all the kids got to go through the limousine.

I mean, come on!! How am I supposed to follow that?!?

I work in a bank, so my only hope is to hand out $100 bills and tell them how we play Liar's Poker all day long. And then take them to Hawaii on a private jet that I have waiting on the street outside.
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Old 03-07-2005, 12:02 PM   #2073
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This Takes the Cake

Quote:
Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
"Go pick up your cake. You live right next to the place and I'm cooking for you already. It's not like you have to pay for it. What? I'm supposed to cook and pick up the cake in advance? Why don't you do something. They're your friends."

"Jesus Christ. What the hell is this? This isn't what I ordered. Didn't you even look at it before you left the store? You did? Are you saying this makes sense to you? 'Climb our bust?' I send you out to do one thing for your party and you can't even get that right. Here I am slaving away in the kitchen for you and you can't even read the cake I paid for. I don't know why I even bother. You are such an ass."

TM
My wife wouldn't let me go to Nepal.
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Old 03-07-2005, 12:03 PM   #2074
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Quote:
Originally posted by dtb
So as part of my son's social studies curriculum, each kid is having a representative (or representatives) of his or her family come it to talk about something. It can be anything really; your family's hobbies, family history, your job, whatever.

So, it's my turn this Friday, and of course I have the problem that any of us would have -- namely, our jobs are lame and boring, and kindergardeners could not care less about what lawyers do --but I have an additional hurdle: last week's visitor.

Last week's person was the father of a girl in the class. He's a secret service agent. So, not only did he show them his gun, the baton thing that shoots out of a handle, the handcuffs, the microphone-up-the-sleeve, and a bunch of other gadgets, but he gave them all presidential trading cards, stickers, little "Big Apple - Secret Service" badges (my son wore his all weekend) and a signed photo of GWB. But that's not all!!! He led the kids downstairs, where there was a bevy of secret service agents guarding the presidential limousine. The street had been closed off, and all the kids got to go through the limousine.

I mean, come on!! How am I supposed to follow that?!?

I work in a bank, so my only hope is to hand out $100 bills and tell them how we play Liar's Poker all day long. And then take them to Hawaii on a private jet that I have waiting on the street outside.
Lie. Tell the kids that you work at a bakery and bring in cookies. Also bring in enough frosting and decorating bags (whatever they are called -- those thingies that you squeeze frosting out of to make designs on cakes, cookies, etc.) for the class, and have them all decorate their own cookies.

edited to note that I did this every year until the Not Bobbette hit middle school, and didn't want to acknowledge having any parent at all.
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Old 03-07-2005, 12:04 PM   #2075
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Quote:
Originally posted by dtb
So, not only did he show them ... the baton thing that shoots out of a handle
You're right, you are toast. Those things are so cool.

I suggest explaining how your employer could buy 1/3 of the countries on earth outright, if they weren't such crappy investments. Or reverting to a Dr. Evil style description of the size of the funds you deal with.

BR(One hundred ... BILLION dollars! Moouuuhahahaha!)C
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Old 03-07-2005, 12:09 PM   #2076
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Quote:
Originally posted by Not Bob
edited to note that I did this every year until the Not Bobbette hit middle school, and didn't want to acknowledge having any parent at all.
If you are serious, I wish you were my dad.
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Old 03-07-2005, 12:11 PM   #2077
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This Takes the Cake

Quote:
Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
"Go pick up your cake. You live right next to the place and I'm cooking for you already. It's not like you have to pay for it. What? I'm supposed to cook and pick up the cake in advance? Why don't you do something. They're your friends."

"Jesus Christ. What the hell is this? This isn't what I ordered. Didn't you even look at it before you left the store? You did? Are you saying this makes sense to you? 'Climb our bust?' I send you out to do one thing for your party and you can't even get that right. Here I am slaving away in the kitchen for you and you can't even read the cake I paid for. I don't know why I even bother. You are such an ass."

TM
I hate to even fucking answer this but no fucking wonder you're such a miserable person. You can turn anything into a fucking negative. I asked him if he read the cake, he said yes, I asked him if he noticed anything strange, he said no, i told him what it said, and we all had a good laugh and he made me take pictures of it before it was cut and freeze the part with the writing because he thought it was so funny. THe fact that you read all that fucking nagging into a 2 second exchange is just incredible. I'd slit my wrists if I had to put up with your shit on a daily basis. When you care about someone helping them out by running an errand isn't a fucking big deal. He was running out to do something else and I asked him if he'd mind picking up the cake and for someone who was getting a party thrown for him and for whom I'd had to buy enough alcohol to fill a goddamn store for his friends, the "labo" and "time expense" of picking up a cake was the deal of the century. ASS
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So he's proactive, huh?

EXECUTIVE
Oh, God, yes. We're talking about a totally outrageous paradigm.

MEYER
Excuse me, but "proactive" and "paradigm"? Aren't these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that.
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Old 03-07-2005, 12:14 PM   #2078
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I'm Toast

Quote:
Originally posted by dtb
So as part of my son's social studies curriculum, each kid is having a representative (or representatives) of his or her family come it to talk about something. It can be anything really; your family's hobbies, family history, your job, whatever.

So, it's my turn this Friday, and of course I have the problem that any of us would have -- namely, our jobs are lame and boring, and kindergardeners could not care less about what lawyers do --but I have an additional hurdle: last week's visitor.

Last week's person was the father of a girl in the class. He's a secret service agent. So, not only did he show them his gun, the baton thing that shoots out of a handle, the handcuffs, the microphone-up-the-sleeve, and a bunch of other gadgets, but he gave them all presidential trading cards, stickers, little "Big Apple - Secret Service" badges (my son wore his all weekend) and a signed photo of GWB. But that's not all!!! He led the kids downstairs, where there was a bevy of secret service agents guarding the presidential limousine. The street had been closed off, and all the kids got to go through the limousine.

I mean, come on!! How am I supposed to follow that?!?

I work in a bank, so my only hope is to hand out $100 bills and tell them how we play Liar's Poker all day long. And then take them to Hawaii on a private jet that I have waiting on the street outside.
You can top the SS man. Bring your horse in and put him/her on the soccer field and bring treats and let the kids feed the horse and pet him/her. I did that for one of my old student's show and tell day and it was a big success.
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KRUSTY
So he's proactive, huh?

EXECUTIVE
Oh, God, yes. We're talking about a totally outrageous paradigm.

MEYER
Excuse me, but "proactive" and "paradigm"? Aren't these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that.
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Old 03-07-2005, 12:15 PM   #2079
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This Takes the Cake

Quote:
Originally posted by sunnybunny
for someone who was getting a party thrown for him and for whom I'd had to buy enough alcohol to fill a goddamn store for his friends, the "labo" and "time expense" of picking up a cake was the deal of the century. ASS
That would have been such a good response if only you'd left out this part.

Close your explorer window and go get some of the liquid chocolate heaven at starbucks before too many frustrated anger chemicals start producing free radicals in your bloodstream and associated wrinkles or whatever other uglifying stuff free radicals make.
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Old 03-07-2005, 12:15 PM   #2080
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This Takes the Cake

Quote:
Originally posted by sunnybunny
I hate to even fucking answer this but no fucking wonder you're such a miserable person. You can turn anything into a fucking negative.

I asked him if he read the cake, he said yes, I asked him if he noticed anything strange, he said no, i told him what it said, and we all had a good laugh and he made me take pictures of it before it was cut and freeze the part with the writing because he thought it was so funny. THe fact that you read all that fucking nagging into a 2 second exchange is just incredible. I'd slit my wrists if I had to put up with your shit on a daily basis. When you care about someone helping them out by running an errand isn't a fucking big deal. He was running out to do something else and


*I asked him if he'd mind picking up the cake and for someone who was getting a party thrown for him and for whom I'd had to buy enough alcohol to fill a goddamn store for his friends, the "labo" and "time expense" of picking up a cake was the deal of the century. ASS
1 Question and 1 comment:

Did you think the error was as funny as he did? I noticed you didn't say you laughed about it.

* The tone of this part of your response indicates that you are somewhat resentful you had to go to so much time/work/expense for a party for him and "his friends".
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Last edited by spookyfish; 03-07-2005 at 12:18 PM..
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Old 03-07-2005, 12:29 PM   #2081
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I'm Toast

Quote:
Originally posted by Not Bob
Lie. Tell the kids ...

Well, of course I have to lie! What the lie will be is the question...
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Old 03-07-2005, 12:30 PM   #2082
sunnybunny
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This Takes the Cake

Quote:
Originally posted by spookyfish
1 Question and 1 comment:

Did you think the error was as funny as he did? I noticed you didn't say you laughed about it.

* The tone of this part of your response indicates that you are somewhat resentful you had to go to so much time/work/expense for a party for him and "his friends".

We all laughed about it....IT WAS FUNNY!

I'm not resentful...the bad tone if coming from being pissed at TM for being such an asshat.
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KRUSTY
So he's proactive, huh?

EXECUTIVE
Oh, God, yes. We're talking about a totally outrageous paradigm.

MEYER
Excuse me, but "proactive" and "paradigm"? Aren't these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that.
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Old 03-07-2005, 12:31 PM   #2083
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This Takes the Cake

Quote:
Originally posted by spookyfish
1 Question and 1 comment:

Did you think the error was as funny as he did? I noticed you didn't say you laughed about it.

* The tone of this part of your response indicates that you are somewhat resentful you had to go to so much time/work/expense for a party for him and "his friends".
The entire exchange clearly reads as "nerve hit". So well done to TM, as that was likely the response he was looking for.

On the minus side, I have no idea from this exchange whether or not sunny is hot. I do however have a sense that she is defensive about whether or not she is The Best Girlfriend In The Entire World.
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Old 03-07-2005, 12:33 PM   #2084
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I'm Toast

Quote:
Originally posted by sunnybunny
. Bring your horse in and put him/her on the soccer field and bring treats
are there a lot of soccer fields in manhattan?

I think you should show and tell on underwear. Start with your boy's. Move up to gwnc, and the absence of.
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Old 03-07-2005, 12:34 PM   #2085
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This Takes the Cake

Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive
The entire exchange clearly reads as "nerve hit". So well done to TM, as that was likely the response he was looking for.

On the minus side, I have no idea from this exchange whether or not sunny is hot. I do however have a sense that she is defensive about whether or not she is The Best Girlfriend In The Entire World.

Bravo...the fact that I told TM he was pissing me off should have been the dead give away that a nerve was hit.

I think he's just jealous no one is throwing a party for him and his alcoholic friends.
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KRUSTY
So he's proactive, huh?

EXECUTIVE
Oh, God, yes. We're talking about a totally outrageous paradigm.

MEYER
Excuse me, but "proactive" and "paradigm"? Aren't these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that.
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