Drive fast, live hard, no regrets... Sorry Penske

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
It's watery!!

The punchline is supposed to be "it's fucking close to water."

Your Canadian citizenship should be revoked*, but thanks for playing.

*Incidentally, someone wrote that about me in a published letter to the editor of the Globe and Mail in 1991. Ottawa did not act on that recommendation.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
The punchline is supposed to be "it's fucking close to water."

Your Canadian citizenship should be revoked*, but thanks for playing.

*Incidentally, someone wrote that about me in a published letter to the editor of the Globe and Mail in 1991. Ottawa did not act on that recommendation.

I am considering making a roadtrip to Canada this weekend. Any tips on how to fit in?

[greatwhitenorthchick]

This cracks me up:



Sexy real estate agent? Is that actually a fantasy?

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
This cracks me up:



Sexy real estate agent? Is that actually a fantasy?

i just can't believe how full figured she is. Who would want that?

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
At least he can look forward to the soft alcoholism of middle age. Speaking of which, I should go home and have a drink. This is one of those times when I really wish I had some weed.

OK, I think i Have it now


Coltrane Free Man -- > Sequels at 28, Roomie with Big TV, Thursday out with the Frat Bros commence THree Day Weekends of Attican Bedshitting----> Sequels pushing thirty---> Ultimatum (which if goes unheeded leads to Mantrap which Coltrane avoids by taking Ultimatum)----> Weekend Bedshitting truncated to Thrusday nights with the Brothers but weekend days registering for shit and visiting the Sequels In Laws---> Marriage----> SEBBY----> Thursday nighgts iwth the Bros becomes Third THursday, forcing the bedshitting to a lighter but more steady daily regime of Blueberry Juice, Red Bull and Ketel on the days when too much wine was consumed----> One more plane trip to a music festival where the last of the mushrooms will be consumed and its the End of Bedshitting as we knew it, though we still have hope there is an Attican Inflatable in our future, perhaps when the wife is out of town--> Wine is now a daily event and soft core E travelogues when the wife is working late brings on the officeial Soft Alcoholism of Middle Age--> Start posting on Thursday and Friday nights after a few instead of seeing the Bros then fuck wife--->Kid number one----> Ollie---->Become a wine afficionado and switch to scotch because the hangovers are more mild. ---> Go to last single friend's bachelor party and see last stripper (except for those at the Bing on Sopranos)----> Kid number two----> Real Sex on HBO becomes erection inducing----> Kid number three----> BILMORE-----> Real Sex on HBO is no longer erection inducing without Viagra.


Did You Just Call Me Coltrane

1975-2050

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
I am considering making a roadtrip to Canada this weekend. Any tips on how to fit in?

tip the strippers well and keep your mouth shut.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
OK, I think i Have it now


Coltrane Free Man -- > Sequels at 28, Roomie with Big TV, Thursday out with the Frat Bros commence THree Day Weekends of Attican Bedshitting----> Sequels pushing thirty---> Ultimatum (which if goes unheeded leads to Mantrap which Coltrane avoids by taking Ultimatum)----> Weekend Bedshitting truncated to Thrusday nights with the Brothers but weekend days registering for shit and visiting the Sequels In Laws---> Marriage----> SEBBY----> Thursday nighgts iwth the Bros becomes Third THursday, forcing the bedshitting to a lighter but more steady daily regime of Blueberry Juice, Red Bull and Ketel on the days when too much wine was consumed----> One more plane trip to a music festival where the last of the mushrooms will be consumed and its the End of Bedshitting as we knew it, though we still have hope there is an Attican Inflatable in our future, perhaps when the wife is out of town--> Wine is now a daily event and soft core E travelogues when the wife is working late brings on the officeial Soft Alcoholism of Middle Age--> Start posting on Thursday and Friday nights after a few instead of seeing the Bros then fuck wife--->Kid number one----> Ollie---->Become a wine afficionado and switch to scotch because the hangovers are more mild. ---> Go to last single friend's bachelor party and see last stripper (except for those at the Bing on Sopranos)----> Kid number two----> Real Sex on HBO becomes erection inducing----> Kid number three----> BILMORE-----> Real Sex on HBO is no longer erection inducing without Viagra.


Did You Just Call Me Coltrane

1975-2050

That was excellent. So if I stop at Kid 2, can I avoid Bilmorism? Or will it happen regardless?

BTW, I took a big dump in Atticus's bed this weekend. Sorry, dude; those high thread-count sheets are a bitch to clean.

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Uh, my wife and I swing. I've pmed you about this before. Kindly stick to our agreement never to post about it.

Are you coming to ACL? If not, I am in the North East for peak foliage IYKWIM

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
This cracks me up:



Sexy real estate agent? Is that actually a fantasy?

Wow. It may be now.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Wow. It may be now.

She'll fuck you in more ways than one.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
This cracks me up:



Sexy real estate agent? Is that actually a fantasy?

Sounds like an improbable one, unless you're into sex sans furniture in empty houses.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
OK, I think i Have it now


Coltrane Free Man -- > Sequels at 28, Roomie with Big TV, Thursday out with the Frat Bros commence THree Day Weekends of Attican Bedshitting----> Sequels pushing thirty---> Ultimatum (which if goes unheeded leads to Mantrap which Coltrane avoids by taking Ultimatum)----> Weekend Bedshitting truncated to Thrusday nights with the Brothers but weekend days registering for shit and visiting the Sequels In Laws---> Marriage----> SEBBY----> Thursday nighgts iwth the Bros becomes Third THursday, forcing the bedshitting to a lighter but more steady daily regime of Blueberry Juice, Red Bull and Ketel on the days when too much wine was consumed----> One more plane trip to a music festival where the last of the mushrooms will be consumed and its the End of Bedshitting as we knew it, though we still have hope there is an Attican Inflatable in our future, perhaps when the wife is out of town--> Wine is now a daily event and soft core E travelogues when the wife is working late brings on the officeial Soft Alcoholism of Middle Age--> Start posting on Thursday and Friday nights after a few instead of seeing the Bros then fuck wife--->Kid number one----> Ollie---->Become a wine afficionado and switch to scotch because the hangovers are more mild. ---> Go to last single friend's bachelor party and see last stripper (except for those at the Bing on Sopranos)----> Kid number two----> Real Sex on HBO becomes erection inducing----> Kid number three----> BILMORE-----> Real Sex on HBO is no longer erection inducing without Viagra.


Did You Just Call Me Coltrane

1975-2050

Where is my mid-life crisis? My mistress?

Otherwise, seems about right.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Gattigap
Sounds like an improbable one, unless you're into sex sans furniture in empty houses.

there are always kitchen counters.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
there are always kitchen counters.

And stairways, for that matter.

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
The female orgasm is such a better gig. When you're a young guy, having a dream like that involves getting changed afterward, and lots of kleenex. When you're in your 30s, you don't even get those dreams any more.

I am suddently overcome with this desire to make you crust the sheets inyour sleep, while teaching you how to become a blow job camel and roast beef sandwich afficionado, on a beach. Your wife is optional.