Fashion Board 5-7-04 to 6-9-04

[str8outavannuys]

So let's say you're representing Mrs. D-O-Double-G in divorce proceedings against her husband, Snoop Dogg himself, and you want custody of the kids and all his money. Do you lead off with:

a) his numerous appearances on the Howard Stern show where he discusses the number of hos in his stable?

b) his well publicized problems with/arrests for various soft drugs?

c) The fact that he hangs around with an entourage of pimps, including the Archbishop Don Magic Juan?

d) the "Girls Gone Wild" videos/producing porn vidoes?

e) His performances in Bones and the Wash?

f) His affiliation with the Crips?

Presumably, he's got a lot of money out there. Movies, shilling for various products, his ownership stake in Eminem, I mean damn.

http://www.courttv.com/people/2004/0525/snoop_ap.html

[Fav. Quote: Snoop, 32, co-stars in the new movie "Soul Plane," which opens Friday. He also has appeared in the movies "Baby Boy" and "Starsky & Hutch," starred in MTV's "Doggy Fizzle Televizzle" comedy show and helped popularize new slang that adds a lot of unnecessary Zs and Ls to words.]

[AnotherSarcasticSock]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
So let's say you're representing Mrs. D-O-Double-G in divorce proceedings against her husband, Snoop Dogg himself, and you want custody of the kids and all his money. Do you lead off with:

I would have no faith in the ability of the government to protect my life and I would settle for a reasonable amount so as not to give Snoop an incentive to have me capped.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Your rant about Esquire may be a little premature. The "Brutally Honest Personals" feature was worth the purchase price. Although if I'd realized I could read it online for free, I may not have purchased the magazine.

http://www.esquire.com/brutal/

I bought that copy for that article and you're right - I was not let down. The rest of the magazine, however, was awful. John Kerry might be the most dull candidate I have ever read about. Those were 10 insufferable pages. I kept reading thinking there'd be something cool, but it read like Grandpa Simpson's resume ("I spent 45 years as a night watchman at a cranberry silo and then I retired"). Not to be outdone, GQ offered up 15 pages devoted to 100 "hysterical, yet informative" tips on how to "take back the wedding." It could have been done in half a page. But on the whole, even with the unnecessary "drum solo" wedding article in the middle, GQ still offered a better show.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

What type of writing sample is the most effective? I've only had one lawyer job and I clerked here as a 3L...so I've never given it that much thought.

Do people even read this shit? My eyes glaze over reading my own memos/briefs...

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
What type of writing sample is the most effective?

Anything without typos.

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
What type of writing sample is the most effective? I've only had one lawyer job and I clerked here as a 3L...so I've never given it that much thought.

Do people even read this shit? My eyes glaze over reading my own memos/briefs...

Going for the big money? Is Sequels in a family way? Does soemone with a gigantic tv set need a new roomie? Will you still have the Thursday night keggers with the boys?

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
What type of writing sample is the most effective? I've only had one lawyer job and I clerked here as a 3L...so I've never given it that much thought.

Do people even read this shit? My eyes glaze over reading my own memos/briefs...

I thought your Boston Marathon posts were pretty good.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I thought your Boston Marathon posts were pretty good.

I'd complain about not getting a real answer if I didn't deserve this shit...

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Going for the big money? Is Sequels in a family way? Does soemone with a gigantic tv set need a new roomie? Will you still have the Thursday night keggers with the boys?

I'm getting breast implants and a Carolyn Bessette nose job.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
What type of writing sample is the most effective? I've only had one lawyer job and I clerked here as a 3L...so I've never given it that much thought.

Do people even read this shit? My eyes glaze over reading my own memos/briefs...

Do not send writing samples. Do you have your name on any published decisions (other than Ill. State Bar ethics opinions)? That might lend some credibilty, but I wouldn't even bring that, just list them on the resume.

And don't listen to Shapey and admit you post here, or if you go that route claim to be someone with 200- 300 posts. No one in theri right minds would hire the type of malingerers who are sporting 1000+.

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
.

And don't listen to Shapey and admit you post here, or if you go that route claim to be someone with 200- 300 posts. No one in theri right minds would hire the type of malingerers who are sporting 1000+.

Isn't lurking here and reading all this shit and only popping in occastionally even more evidence that you are a sick fuck, bc you arent participating in the convo, and lets face it, if you aint a part of the convo, it aint that interesting?

I am posting to see what that statement was that used to be, Let me be the first to tell you your post sucked. It flashed too quickly.

ETA- ah, its says message changed to something boring at the request of SlaveNoMore, the consiglieri himself. Good one. I was wondering why I havent seen a self congratulatory post from him in at least two days, no need.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I'd complain about not getting a real answer if I didn't deserve this shit...

Okay, as long as that's clear up front . . .

Are you a good writer? Are you the guy who ends up writing the group's persuasive letters, or the reports to the clients? Then, submit something more free-form that showcases those talents - something with excellent word usage and grammer, which exhibits the ability to clearly communicate complex thoughts cleanly. Don't use a pleading, or a strictly legal-argument-based doc - too confining, too stilted, to show what you want shown.

If you are weaker, or simply more of a technical writer, then submit your best SJ brief, or legal analysis memo.

And I wasn't joking about the typos.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I'd complain about not getting a real answer if I didn't deserve this shit...

I think it totally depends on the type of work you do and job you're looking for. PM me if you want further thoughts.

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

Originally posted by bilmore
And I wasn't joking about the typos.

Along these lines, I think copies of published articles are always a safe bet, especially if they are in your area of practice. Plus, you can blame all the typos on the copy editors.