Fashion Board 4-6-04 to 5-7-04

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
Oh damn, I almost forgot. When I woke up this morning I had a discussion with my wife about how to handle this problem. Here's the skinny:

My wife is friends with this girl from highschool.


So, my first question is how do I get my wife to stick to our agreement? And second, if she agrees that this couple should not stay, how do we tell them off without hurting their feelings (the quality of your answers to the second question may directly impact my ability to get my wife to agree on the first issue).

Thanks.

Tell your wife that she shouldn't be friends with someone from high school and that having minors as houseguests is not a good idea. That should do the trick. You can tell the mooches the same thing.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
OK, this might work. We actually are in the middle of remodelling and I am going to be getting back from out of town that day (but much earlier).

They're not allergic to animals. They have a couple filthy beasts that live in their house. I don't even want to get into it.

The dinner idea is good, though. Very sneaky, sis.

So even a vicious attack cat wouldn't phase them? Tough one.

Definitely play up the remodelling thing.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
P.S. you guys owe me a couple responses now that I fixed your toy. get to it.

ABBA's right. You don't owe them an excuse, just tell them you won't be able to put them up this time. If they push for an excuse, have one ready -- I'd suggest having your wife be prepared to say "MR has been working really hard lately and is just wiped out, I can't ask him to deal with houseguests this weekend. I'm sure you understand."

Tell your wife that if she doesn't keep the deal, you are going to tell dozens of strangers over the Internet intimate and disgusting details about your sex life.

[Alex_de_Large]

Try www.poopreport.com for all your poop-related news.


spree: read the damned url!

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
They're not allergic to animals. They have a couple filthy beasts that live in their house. I don't even want to get into it.

So, they dragged their kids along on the last visit, eh?

[Alex_de_Large]

Anyone want to buy a wedding dress? This guy is apparently selling his ex-wife's dress on ebay.

From the auction:

"I found my ex-wife's wedding dress in the attic when I moved. She took the $4000 engagement ring but left the dress. I was actually going to have a dress burning party when the divorce became final, but my sister talked me out of it. She said, "That’s such a gorgeous dress. Some lucky girl would be glad to have it. You should sell it on EBay. At least get something back for it." So, this is what I’m doing. I’m selling it hoping to get enough money for maybe a couple of Mariners tickets and some beer. This dress cost me $1200 that my drunken sot of an ex-father-in-law swore up and down he would pay for but didn’t so I got stuck with the bill. Luckily I only got stuck with his daughter for 5 years. Thank the Lord we didn't have kids. If they would have turned out like her or her family I would have slit my wrists. Anyway, it’s a really nice dress as you can see in the pictures. Personally, I think it looks like a $1200 shower curtain, but what do I know about this. We tried taking pictures of this lovely white garment but it didn’t look right on the hanger as you can see, so my sister says, "You need a model." Well, quite frankly my sister isn’t exactly small, (like a size 12 is?) so she wouldn’t pose for the picture. Seeing as I have sworn off women for the time being and I ain’t friends with any, it left me holding the bag. I took the liberty of blacking out my face - not to protect the ex-wife but to protect me from my bar buddies and co-workers finding out about it. I would never live it down. Actually I didn’t think my head would fit in the neck hole, but then I figured she got her Texas cheerleader hair through there I could get my head in it. Though, after looking at the pictures, I thought it made me look fat. How do you women wear this crap? I only had to walk 3 feet and I tripped twice. Don’t worry ladies - I am wearing clothes on underneath it. I gotta say it did make me feel very pretty. So if it can make me feel pretty, it can make you feel pretty, especially on the most important day of your life, right? Anyway, I was told to say it has a train and a veil and all kinds of shiny beady things. I think it's funny that one picture makes it look like the chest plate off an Imperial Storm Trooper. Did I mention that all I want is a ball game and beer? Cheap at twice the price. Ladies, you won’t regret this. You may regret the dude you marry but not the dress."

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Try www.poopreport.com for all your poop-related news.

We may never see Atticus around here again...

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
So even a vicious attack cat wouldn't phase them? Tough one.

Definitely play up the remodelling thing.

Did I ever tell my vicious attack cat story?

The day I went to see my house for the first time, my realtor and I had made an appointment, and the people who owned the house put one of their cats in a kennel before leaving the house for showing. There was a note on the listing not to pet the white cat. Anyhow, we toured the house, and I instantly fell in love. A half hour later, we went back to my realtor's office so I could fill out an ernest money contract.

After preparing all of the documents, I called my mom and asked her if she wanted to see the house I was hoping to buy. We called the owners and said we wanted to come back to see it again. My mom and the realtor and I toured the house again, followed by the black cat we'd seen out and about the first time through. We were standing in the living room, marvelling at the price when out of nowhere, a white cat leaps onto my realtor's legs and starts clawing and biting. The black cat jumps and then starts attacking the white cat, freeing my realtor. The white cat got free and started running towards us. The realtor, my mom, and I ran to the back door, and hid outside, while the white cat paced back and forth in front of the door, waiting for us to come back in. Fortunately, my dad showed up right then, having been called earlier by my mom to come by and see my (possible) new house. The white cat attacked my dad, though he was wearing jeans and the cat couldn't make it through the jeans. The black cat defended the rest of us, and we were able to get to the bathroom and shut appropriate doors to clean up all the blood off of my realtor.

Eventually, we ended up back in her office, and we wrote out "white cat does not stay" on the ernest money contract.

I inspected the house for white cats before moving in.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Sidd Finch
Tell your wife that if she doesn't keep the deal, you are going to tell dozens of strangers over the Internet intimate and disgusting details about your sex life.

And start with a sample, to prove you're serious.

Uh, okay, start with another sample.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Anyone want to buy a wedding dress?

Nice line:

"this is the first time I have ever donned female attire. It’s also the first time I’ve been inside something feminine that didn’t nag me to take out the garbage."

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by
Martin Short's synchronized swimmer on SNL.

You're not angry with him, you're just pointing. Hey, you! I know you! I know you!.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Did I ever tell my vicious attack cat story?

white cat leaps onto my realtor's legs and starts clawing and biting. The black cat jumps and then starts attacking the white cat, freeing my realtor. The white cat got free and started running towards us. The realtor, my mom, and I ran to the back door, and hid outside, while the white cat paced back and forth in front of the door, waiting for us to come back in. Fortunately, my dad showed up right then, having been called earlier by my mom to come by and see my (possible) new house. The white cat attacked my dad, though he was wearing jeans and the cat couldn't make it through the jeans. The black cat defended the rest of us,

I am curious as to why the witch's familiar was defending you. I think your family (and realtor) must be evil.

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
People I know have trekked to Montreal for steak, pussy and poutine (not necessarily in that order), but never for yogurt. You sir, are a strange yogurt-loving bird.

I have driven (or been driven) to Kingston, Ontario, from Toronto late at night for poutine. Only about a four hour drive, but still. I have also been driven to Montreal (from NYC) and we said it was just for the hell of it, but really we were craving Tim Hortons sour cream glaze and did not want to admit to each other that we were willing to drive six hours for a donut.

Don't forget bagels and smoked meat sandwiches. Not together. Although why not? Montreal smoked meat on a montreal style bagel!!! That would be freakin AWESOME!!!

Heading to Toronto this weekend. I'll load up on the Crispy Crunches and Jos Louis' for ya.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Anyone want to buy a wedding dress? This guy is apparently selling his ex-wife's dress on ebay.

Were his arms not quite so hairy and tattooed, the bidding price would probably be several hundred dollars higher. He could've hired some local talent at the local strip club to model it, and would've gotten a return double of whatever he paid.

The poses were nice, though. First one is out of Modern Weddings, though after that they look more like shots from an episode of Cops.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by Gattigap
Were his arms not quite so hairy and tattooed, the bidding price would probably be several hundred dollars higher. He could've hired some local talent at the local strip club to model it, and would've gotten a return double of whatever he paid.

He would have needed to go to the local Fatty Pride chapter for a model. That dress is huge, and apparently so was his ex-wife.