Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones! - Page 227

sebastian_dangerfield · 10-11-2005, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Forget you saw the card. Take the high road and let it go. Do this for your own well-being as much as that of the mother of your children. If this is not an option, however, stay away from the fuck-her-sister/mother approach. Too cliche. Fuck her brother or her father and then dump him on his freshly fucked ass.

2. If you can fire one of in Bill's old man's arse, do so... and have a camera phone handy throughout.

But understand, you might have to move from the area post haste afterward. After receiving that photo messsage, Bill is either going to go home and down a Big Sleep Martini (Bottle-of-Ambien+Bottle-of-Grey Goose) or come over to your house with a hatchet and chloroform.

I really don't know how I'd react if I were to receive a text message containing a photo of my father receiving anal. After blackmailing him, I'd probably have to seek serious therapy.

Flinty_McFlint · 10-11-2005, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Okay, this is the weekend. PM me if you want to show me and my friend a good time.

Sincerely,
ABBAKiss

Ok NYC FB'ers, you have been exposed as fucking frauds. For all your big talk and braggadocio and blow job tips, none of you have stepped up to the plate and publicly taken the challenge to show this lady and her friend a good time. I am embarrassed for you.

str8outavannuys · 10-11-2005, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Let's break down last night's debacle. First of all, we need to revisit this post:

http://205.214.94.186/forums/showthr...759#post156759

Next, let me say that I don't think we deserved to win. I think we were outplayed and the guys we needed to play well, the guys we brought in to be superstars, played mostly like crap for 5 straight games.

Although I think Sheff wouldn't have caught that ball even if there had been no collision and even though he should have caught that bloop off of the bat of Molina (and he would have if he wasn't so slow and didn't get such a shitty jump on the ball), I don't blame him for that loss. I don't even blame Matsui (stranded 8 men last night), who has been very clutch in the past. (We better re-sign him.)

I blame Rodriguez. Boston fans rejoice. He is our curse.

ARod is the Charles Smith of baseball. He is a joke. A charlatan. A fraud. A smudge on the Yankees uniform. A piece of shit. I would rather have Boone. I used to think that he should win MVP over Ortiz because Ortiz is a one-dimensional player, but I was wrong. ARod is the anti-MVP. He is going to be miserable in this town. I don't know how he will be able to walk the streets. If he would have simply struck out in the ninth, the Yankees would have won that game yesterday. That's two* of the three games that we lost because of his malfeasance. And his nonfeasance the rest of the time didn't help, but at least it didn't actively hurt.

Next up? That bullshit call. Or should I say those bullshit calls. If anyone, anyone argues that Cano should have been called out on that play, I will have absolutely no respect for you when it comes to sports because you simply cannot be objective.

Cano ran up the baseline. His feet were actually on the fucking chalk and his foot hit the middle of the bag. First of all, that is not a violation of the rule. If he had been inside the chalk at any time after the catcher picked up the ball, the umpire may have had a point. But he wasn't. Second of all, the first baseman was on the part of the bag Cano would normally have stepped on because he wanted to give his catcher an better target. To make that call in Game Five was just completely fucking ridiculous. And he's the same jackass that called the runner safe at second when he was clearly out the other night on the force. He should be removed from the playoff rotation at the very least and sent down to Single A, where he belongs, at the worst.

And then, there's Torre. I think Torre is a good manager of two things (and the game, where he is average, ain't one of them). One: the personalities of the type we had from '96 to '01. Quiet guys who are team players. Guys who you can motivate with a look or gesture. Guys like Bernie, Posada, Martinez, Paulie, Jeter and Rivera. He can't motivate any other type of player. He can't get in someone's face when they're playing like a little bitch and tell him just that. It's not in him. And that's what we needed this year.

The other thing he's good at is managing outside influences. He can manage Steinbrenner and all of Steinbrenner's henchmen who try their best to interfere. He manages the press beautifully and manages to keep so much pressure off his guys and on him. Compare Steinbrenner's quotes when Winfield was playing horribly in the postseason to now, when ARod is ten times worse. Back then, everything was the fault of the players. Today, Steinbrenner blames Torre. And I credit Torre for deflecting that heat.

Sweet Lou will be our next manager and as much as it will hurt to see Torre leave on terms not his own, we need to enter a new phase. Bernie, Posada and Tino are not the future of this team. We need a different leader. And I think Piniella will get the most out of the ridiculous team we field next year.

Last up, center field. Bernie, it was nice knowin' ya. Can't wait to see you on your first old-timers day. Make way for Torii Hunter. If we don't acquire him, I'm going to be fucking furious.

TM

*Remember his game-destroying error in Game 2?

I can't disagree with your assessment of the calls (and this from someone who had a little money on the Angels). [The Chargers got similar officiating help last night, but couldn't pull it out.] However, everybody overlooked the Angels HUGE advantage in pitching depth. I thought Escobar was the secret weapon. Turns out it was Ervin Santana, who's been so good at home all year. Wow, what a ballsy performance. At some point you've got to say good job Halos, go get em in Chicago. These guys (Lackey, Byrd, Washburn, Escobar) aren't stars of the Johnson/Mussina caliber, or even of the Garcia/Buerhle/Contreras level, but they should be. They're amazing, and maybe people will recognize.

str8outavannuys · 10-11-2005, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Well, there's 2 things we agree on. That was a bullshit call. I couldn't believe it when I saw it and then it was even worse on replay.

A-Rod's not a gamer. I warned you about him, and still you defended him. I guess that's over now. I have more respect for Jeter now, seeing the 2 of them in game situations together. Jeter is always watching the game. A-Rod is somewhere eating sunflower seeds. And I think the Big Unit is over. He's become Gary Payton chasing the ring.

Still, I believe you called me stupid for picking the Angels and the White Sox. Ha.

Ummm, I'm pretty sure he has a ring from when he and Schilling and Luis Gonzalez and Steve Finley and Byung Hung Kim (ok, maybe not him) won that outstanding WS over the Yankees in 2001.

Christ, why can't I remember anyone else from that team? Was Womack there? Mark Grace? Some old 3B? Oh, and of course Blue Jays closer Miguel Batista was a starter there, right?

str8outavannuys · 10-11-2005, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I usually call them out, although, like you, in a teasing way. It eventually worked.

I was the groomsmen in a buddy's wedding. The wedding was in Chicago, where Cheap Guy groomsman resides. Cheap Guy has a history of bringing nothing to the table and shorting us on bar tabs. Cheap Guy isn't rich, but he definitely isn't poor. Cheap Guy and SO attend the rehearsal dinner and the wedding, which equals two nights of free food, booze and entertainment. Granted, Cheap Guy had to rent a tux. Nevertheless, Cheap Guy gets Bride & Groom a $75 gift. Groom calls him out for being a cheapass, and does so by bcc-ing his other friends on the call-out email. Good times.

Oh I got this one beat. A very wealthy friend of my dad's came out to my wedding, flying with his wife and four teenage children. 6 people at the rehearsal dinner + wedding.

Wedding present: two ugly-ass Fortunoff candlesticks (not from our registry, needless to say). Retail, $60.

SlaveNoMore · 10-11-2005, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Please. Read the columnists--they've beat up on the Sox, and their fans, plenty the last few weeks.

Bitch, please.

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 10-11-2005, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
Oh I got this one beat. A very wealthy friend of my dad's came out to my wedding, flying with his wife and four teenage children. 6 people at the rehearsal dinner + wedding.

Wedding present: two ugly-ass Fortunoff candlesticks (not from our registry, needless to say). Retail, $60.

Different. He probably spent $3-5k on accomodations and airfare.

SlaveNoMore · 10-11-2005, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Flinty_McFlint
Ok NYC FB'ers, you have been exposed as fucking frauds. For all your big talk and braggadocio and blow job tips, none of you have stepped up to the plate and publicly taken the challenge to show this lady and her friend a good time. I am embarrassed for you.

All the cool kids moved.

Replaced_Texan · 10-11-2005, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
Oh I got this one beat. A very wealthy friend of my dad's came out to my wedding, flying with his wife and four teenage children. 6 people at the rehearsal dinner + wedding.

Wedding present: two ugly-ass Fortunoff candlesticks (not from our registry, needless to say). Retail, $60.

I've never had to pay for a wedding, but do people really expect to break even on the gifts? Isn't the point to celebrate your marriage?

str8outavannuys · 10-11-2005, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Different. He probably spent $3-5k on accomodations and airfare.

Oh he definitely did - they stayed at the Montage.

If you can stay at the Montage, you can get me a real wedding gift.

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 10-11-2005, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I've never had to pay for a wedding, but do people really expect to break even on the gifts? Isn't the point to celebrate your marriage?

Of course not. My story was more about the Groom actually calling the Cheap Guy out, and not about the Cheap Guy being a Cheap Guy.

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.) · 10-11-2005, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Bitch, please.

I'm sorry. It must be that to sell papers locally they include Yankees-suck articles only in the NYC edition.

Penske_Account · 10-11-2005, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Too much effort for me to even think about. If it involves more than 2 minutes of concentration and I'm not getting paid for it, I'm not doing it.

Maybe you could take a pimp fee for providing the prisoner with a beeyotch to service him?

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.) · 10-11-2005, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I've never had to pay for a wedding, but do people really expect to break even on the gifts? Isn't the point to celebrate your marriage?

No. It's to maximize your haul.

Is halloween all about dressing up?

Penske_Account · 10-11-2005, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ironweed
When you're out, does she go for Cristal, Remy or Bud?

I like the Cristal, and while Hank doesn't buy me any, my wife lets me drink her urine later, so its almost like drinking Cristal.