Fashion Board 6-9-04 to 7-13-04

[SlaveNoMore]

Tyrone Slothrop
The headline in today's SF Chronicle:

Day Seven: Reagan Still Dead

Ok, not really.

To quote Chappelle doing Rick James:

"You are one cold...evil...motherfucker

[Aloha Mr. Learned Hand]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
To quote Chappelle doing Rick James:

"You are one cold...evil...motherfucker"

Hear hear. She is a lady of noble spirit and tremendous dignity.

(This coming from the guy who hedged his bets and has her in the Celebrity Death Pool, so take it for what it's worth...)

[Dave]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Duh! Cedar village is where I trained.

But did you get course credit? And does the manual still recommend stockpiling couches and gasoline?

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Cool. A revisionist history sock that can't spell. Another first.

TM

Would that it were so. Your life sans PB is a blissful one, and I envy you for it.

[dtb]

Originally posted by ironweed
I'm not trying to rub it in or anything, but I bet all you small-town folks out there didn't get a chain e-mail terrorist attack warning forwarded to you today, like I did (reproduced below). 9/11, 3/11, 6/11 -- I'll think twice before stopping for a Slurpee from now on, that's for sure. Oh, and "obviously Reagan's death wasn't planned"??? How gullible can some people be?

Well, I told my husband not to take the subway, and I didn't even get the e-mail!! (I have taken the subway maybe 10 times since 9/11.)

That, and I would never make that piker mistake of saying "less" when I mean "fewer". Some people!

[dtb]

Originally posted by ironweed
My apologies to any grammar timmies I may have placed into a state of paralytic shock by posting the unedited missive above. Would someone please get the smelling salts for dtb?

Unfortunately, the messenger with the smelling salts didn't get here on time. After I picked myself up off the floor, I posted a response -- but to only one of the egregious errors in that well-thought-out little ditty.

Co inside? WTF? Reminds me of the time I heard a woman (on the subway, coincidentally) who said to her misbehaving child, "I've got two words for you. Be Hay-ve!" (phonetic spelling on that last bit, I hope you all appreciate.)

The poor kid. He hasn't got a chance.

Originally posted by dtb
Well, I told my husband not to take the subway, and I didn't even get the e-mail!! (I have taken the subway maybe 10 times since 9/11.)

That reminds me - can you tell your limo driver to stop by my house first starting Monday morning? I too grow weary of the subway.

[dtb]

Originally posted by ironweed
That reminds me - can you tell your limo driver to stop by my house first starting Monday morning? I too grow weary of the subway.

All that riff; all that raff -- who can take it after a while?

(The BUS, man. The bus is where it's at!)

My limo driver is off next week, because we're on vacation -- but the week after, K?


Another little story (limo related). My husband has never ridden in a big limo. Now, it's not like I ride in a limo every week; in fact, I can't even remember the last time I rode in one -- it was a long time ago, but I have had that other-wordly (really, what other word can describe it?) experience of riding to an airport (or in a funeral procession) in a limo.

So my eldest son is really taken with the idea of riding in a limo. (?!) Whatever.

[This will seem like a tangent, but it really does relate to this oh-so-captivating story.] There's this mother of a kid in my son's class whose "job" is sitting on benefit committees, etc. We often receive invitations (i.e., solicitations) for stuff, and the latest was one that if you donated $500, your child could be a model in the kids fashion show they were putting on. (A pretty good ploy, actually, considering their audience is a bunch of narcissistic do-nothings who overly dote on their spoiled children, and think their little angels would be PERFECT in a fashion show... but I digress.)

So, I sent them some money (it was a worthy cause, after all), but wasn't going to attend, nor was I going to have my son be a fashion model (as if my husband would permit it anyway).

But at some point, my son starts talking about how Simon (this kid whose mother runs all this crap) is going to be a fashion model and will get to ride in a limousine -- and how HE wants to be a fashion model. After I revive my husband with the smelling salts we ordinarily keep on hand for reviving me after overhearing or reading grammatical and usage gaffes, I suss out the real gravamen of my son's desire to be a fashion model. All he really wants is to ride in a limousine!

So, we solved the problem by telling him that next time we go to the airport for vacation, we'll order a limousine (which, actually, we sort of need -- as even a "Dial Car" barely holds all the crap we take with us on vacation -- we stuff the trunk full and are still left holding bags on our laps.)

So all was well once more chez dtb.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by dtb
The poor kid. He hasn't got a chance.

True story. dtb sent me a PM and didn't capitilze "i." At first I thought she was talking down to me, then I thought maybe a come-on, like "hey Hank, we're not so different really."

But ultimately I realized, she's like everyone else and just wanted to let her hair down a little once outside the public eye.

Originally posted by dtb
But at some point, my son starts talking about how Simon (this kid whose mother runs all this crap) is going to be a fashion model and will get to ride in a limousine -- and how HE wants to be a fashion model. After I revive my husband with the smelling salts we ordinarily keep on hand for reviving me after overhearing or reading grammatical and usage gaffes, I suss out the real gravamen of my son's desire to be a fashion model. All he really wants is to ride in a limousine!

A taste for the high life, eh? It could be worse. He could want to be a fireman, and it's nearly impossible to rent a fire truck to take you to the airport.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
I just went out and stood in the rain for a half and hour to watch Regan's motorcade go by. There were two hearses. THe first one had a lower back door/bigger window and their was a flag draped over it. It was followed by a limo. There was a van in front of them that was taping. Several more cars in the procession and then there was another hearse with a smaller back window/higher door, so you couldn't see the coffin because of the height of hte door. THat was followed by a limo also. Do you think Reagan was in the first or the second?

Any cute chicks?

[Alex_de_Large]

I refuse to believe that most of the FB regulars are federal employees and therefore have the day off. Where the fuck is everyone?

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
One thing that has always baffled me is how Steely Dan fans insist on describing Steely Dan's music as "subversive," when I always thought a better adjective was "catchy."

I'd go with "elevator"

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by Dave
Question: Could the ABC announces suck the collective dicks of the Lakers any more? I don't have an unbiased ear, but sheesh, at least 80% of what they have to say is Lakers-related.

I hope that Luke Walton doesn't have a single good play the rest of the series, just so that we dont't have to see the smirk of his old man. Bill and Jack Nicholson have gotten more screen time than half of the guys who are actually playing in the game.

What ever happened to Rick Fox, anyway? Is he hurt or something?

You should have heard the radio play-by-play guys (including a guy who's a dead-ringer in the voice department for . . . Wink Martindale???). They were whining to an unreal extent about the officiating. It just made me smile. Beat LA.

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
To quote Chappelle doing Rick James:

"You are one cold...evil...motherfucker

Oh shit, I forgot. BigPants Hollywood Producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura has bought the rights to Rick James' autobiography/memoir as a star vehicle for Dave Chappelle. Title is "Memoirs of a Super Freak," but I think they should go with "What did the Five Fingers say to the Face?"