Fringey's taut-abbed painter

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by Gattigap
I've already suggested that we try this, although you may be more interested in changing the calendar's features to draw your desired demographic.

Of course, this also suggests that you need to pony up first.

What is it about the horses today?

[Sidd Finch]

My brother has a tendency to embellish stories, and even to just make shit up. And he gets very defensive and nasty if you call him on it. It can be pretty funny, in a I'm-so-glad-I'm-not-him way.

This tendency reaches its worst when he retells an old joke as if it's a story that actually happened to him. He's told me stories supposedly based on personal experience that appear on UrbanLegends dot com. He's told me old jokes -- I mean, jokes that were old when I heard them in college -- as if they were true stories that happened to him (with him delivering the clever punchline).

This happened the other day on a phone call. It is really bizarre, and I don't know why he does this, or why he thinks anyone would believe him, or how to respond. I'm considering responding with an equally ridiculous story -- something like "The other day I was in a bar and a piece of string walked in." Maybe that one is too obvious.

Advice? Jokes to suggest? Something involving a doctor, a lawyer, and a rabbi perhaps?

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by Sidd Finch
My brother has a tendency to embellish stories, and even to just make shit up. And he gets very defensive and nasty if you call him on it. It can be pretty funny, in a I'm-so-glad-I'm-not-him way.

This tendency reaches its worst when he retells an old joke as if it's a story that actually happened to him. He's told me stories supposedly based on personal experience that appear on UrbanLegends dot com. He's told me old jokes -- I mean, jokes that were old when I heard them in college -- as if they were true stories that happened to him (with him delivering the clever punchline).

This happened the other day on a phone call. It is really bizarre, and I don't know why he does this, or why he thinks anyone would believe him, or how to respond. I'm considering responding with an equally ridiculous story -- something like "The other day I was in a bar and a piece of string walked in." Maybe that one is too obvious.

Advice? Jokes to suggest? Something involving a doctor, a lawyer, and a rabbi perhaps?

Funny you should mention that bro. Last night I was in a bar, and I started talking to these girls. The first girl was really hot, tall, long blonde hair. Great tits. Great smile. So I asked her her name, and she said "Daisy." So I asked her if she knew why her parents had named her Daisy, and she said "When my mummy was pregnant, a daisy landed on her tummy, so she decided to name me Daisy."

I turned to her two friends. One of them was this striking red-head. Gorgeous long legs, beautiful figure. So I asked her her name. She said her name was Rose. To be polite, I asked her the same question, if she knew why her parents had named her Rose. She said "well it's funny, but it's kinda the same deal. My mom was pregnant and a Rose landed on her stomach, and that's when my parents got the idea to name me Rose."

So to be polite, I turned to talk to their other friend. She wasn't anything like Daisy or Rose . . . she had a hunched back, one big eyebrow, and a terrible bowl-cut. But I figured I'd score some points with her hot friends and be polite, so I asked her her name. Turns out, she had a bad stutter too.

"A-a-a-a-a-a-a-annnnnnnn."

Well Ann, what a pretty name. Do you know why your parents named you Ann?

"nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nooooooo. A-a-a--nnnn-villlll."

[crazy lou]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Oh thank god you are here. I need entertainment. Can you tell an interesting fraternity story? Something maybe with beer shits?

Apparenlty its time for people to post something crazy they did sexually. I realize we are a bored of married old guys and the spinsters they love, but has someone gotten laid recently? I know I have but I aint sharing unless others do. Can we spice this place up? I will pony up if others do.

Can we recruit some new single people please?

Hi! Long time lurker, first time poster. Crazy Lou. That was my nickname in my frat in college. My real name is not really lou. But I'm crazy like that.

In an effort to satisfy your many and varied requests I am on a mission today. Currently, I'm somewhere in the process of drinking myself into oblivion, even though the sun has only recently set. In fact, I may be drunk as I type this. I started with a pre-happy hour cocktail in my office with my secretary, which led to me hitting her from the back aka doggy style under my desk. I pulled out and did a pornstar shot on her back and then kicked her the fuck out of my office. Get back to work already~!

anyway, at this point, the best part of this little escapade is going to be getting as drunk as possible tonight to blot out the dirty deed, grabbing some Pat's Steaks around 2 in the AM and then coming into work in the morning hung as hell with a big old tummyache brewing and then sneaking into the crapper, which I know a certain douchebag partner uses at exactly 10 AM every day ("Mr Prunejuice"), at about 9:45 and conjuring up a krakatoa style volcanic explosion and dusting the whole of the toilet in beershits for this bsd-GP to have to encounter on his daily consitutional.

I may also print this post out and eat the paper so that perhaps I can have the additional satisfaction of crapping it out with the beershits as evidence for this certain partner of the premeditation of my plan!!!

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Sidd Finch
My brother has a tendency to embellish stories, and even to just make shit up. And he gets very defensive and nasty if you call him on it. It can be pretty funny, in a I'm-so-glad-I'm-not-him way.

This tendency reaches its worst when he retells an old joke as if it's a story that actually happened to him. He's told me stories supposedly based on personal experience that appear on UrbanLegends dot com. He's told me old jokes -- I mean, jokes that were old when I heard them in college -- as if they were true stories that happened to him (with him delivering the clever punchline).

This happened the other day on a phone call. It is really bizarre, and I don't know why he does this, or why he thinks anyone would believe him, or how to respond. I'm considering responding with an equally ridiculous story -- something like "The other day I was in a bar and a piece of string walked in." Maybe that one is too obvious.

Advice? Jokes to suggest? Something involving a doctor, a lawyer, and a rabbi perhaps?

What's the big deal? It's just a joke or a silly story. Who cares if it actually happened to him? If he thinks this is the kind of thing that makes him sound more interesting then let him go for it. You know the shit isn't true. He probably knows you know it too.

If he was an asshole, I would say, call him on it in a way that embarrasses him every time. But if it is otherwise harmless and amounts to a tall tale, let it go.

Hell, maybe he's setting you up for a Big Fish-type moment.

TM

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
What's the big deal? It's just a joke or a silly story. Who cares if it actually happened to him? If he thinks this is the kind of thing that makes him sound more interesting then let him go for it. You know the shit isn't true. He probably knows you know it too.

If he was an asshole, I would say, call him on it in a way that embarrasses him every time. But if it is otherwise harmless and amounts to a tall tale, let it go.

Hell, maybe he's setting you up for a Big Fish-type moment.

TM

Translation: "I lie about shit all the time, to everybody."

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
What's the big deal? It's just a joke or a silly story. Who cares if it actually happened to him? If he thinks this is the kind of thing that makes him sound more interesting then let him go for it. You know the shit isn't true. He probably knows you know it too.

If he was an asshole, I would say, call him on it in a way that embarrasses him every time. But if it is otherwise harmless and amounts to a tall tale, let it go.

Hell, maybe he's setting you up for a Big Fish-type moment.

TM

I wouldn't exactly say it's a big deal, and generally we just ignore it. But he can be kind of an asshole -- not so much that I want to have a fight with him every time (life's just too short), but enough that I'd like a way to respond.

The Annnnn....villlll joke that whoever suggested is a good start.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Sidd Finch
The Annnnn....villlll joke that whoever suggested is a good start.

you're fucking kidding me. that thing is horrible. what the fuck is wrong with people? fringey, get me a doughnut.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
you're fucking kidding me. that thing is horrible. what the fuck is wrong with people? fringey, get me a doughnut.

Um, I ate them all.

The point may have been that it was horrible.

And, trust me, neither you nor anyone who has to look at you wants you to start drowning your sorrows and disgust in doughnuts.

I will be waiting for my "thank you" cookie bouquet from Mr. Man for saving him from having to deal with you plus 20 lbs.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Um, I ate them all.

The point may have been that it was horrible.

And, trust me, neither you nor anyone who has to look at you wants you to start drowning your sorrows and disgust in doughnuts.

I will be waiting for my "thank you" cookie bouquet from Mr. Man for saving him from having to deal with you plus 20 lbs.

It really depends on where those 20 lbs go. It might look nice. I'm just saying.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
You know what sucks is that, had I been single, I would have fucked you a long time ago.

But not long enough ago where people would be sick of talking about it now.

People who've been with her talk about Paigow bad, but if you ask her nice she'll give you a bj every time you see each other. Girl like that ain't all bad.

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by Sidd Finch
I wouldn't exactly say it's a big deal, and generally we just ignore it. But he can be kind of an asshole -- not so much that I want to have a fight with him every time (life's just too short), but enough that I'd like a way to respond.

The Annnnn....villlll joke that whoever suggested is a good start.

Too lazy to go back three posts and accord credit? Sheesh.
I've got a million of em, let me tell ya.

So where was I? Oh yes, I was playing golf the other day in a foursome with God, Moses, and Tiger Woods . . .

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
Too lazy to go back three posts and accord credit? Sheesh.

He's a partner. You're lucky he didn't just outright take credit.

[crazy lou]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
People who've been with her talk about Paigow bad, but if you ask her nice she'll give you a bj every time you see each other. Girl like that ain't all bad.

Spit or swallow?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by crazy lou
Spit or swallow?

I should point out i was speaking from her camel stories. I don't have the pleasure of being personally aquainted,