Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones! - Page 316

Atticus Grinch · 10-20-2005, 12:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I rather like my last name a lot. The only reason I could see changing it is so I'd have the same last name as my kids.

I thought about doing that, too, but "Atticus Chinaski" just sounds stupid, and they're unlikely to appreciate the gesture given the circumstances.

Atticus Grinch · 10-20-2005, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Indeed. In fact, I may be the ultimate romantic. I just keep it under wraps until a sappy Amazing Race "My wife is the strongest person I've ever met; I'm so proud of her!" clip comes along to jerk the tears right out of me.

Huh. When I posted a sappy "My wife is the strongest person I've ever met; I'm so proud of her" in a non-Amazing Race context, the tears were all mine because YOU ASS-RAPED ME FOR A WEEK ON THE LWK BOARD.

But the thought that you cry over reality TV humanizes you, so you've got that going for you.

SlaveNoMore · 10-20-2005, 12:56 AM

Quote:

Atticus Grinch
20. Add 5 for movie adaptations. Add one for loosely-based porno movie adaptations. P.S. "Beth Comes for the Archbishop" wasn't as fun as the title premise might imply.

27 - but I'm counting as 1 the 1/2 of Infinite Jest and the 1/2 of The Recognitions I can never seem to get through.

The Watchmen is great and all, but at its heart, its a fucking comic book.

And that An American Tragedy makes the list is just a tragedy, period. That book is better than 2 ambiens and a scotch.

Atticus Grinch · 10-20-2005, 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
ANy watch the Colbert Report?

It will soon be late and unlamented. The show doesn't know what tone to take, and you can't be both Jon and correspondent in the same show.

ETA: And he should not do couch interviews, because he suffers greatly by inevitable comparison to Jon, and is better in character than not.

Atticus Grinch · 10-20-2005, 01:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
27 - but I'm counting as 1 the 1/2 of Infinite Jest and the 1/2 of The Recognitions I can never seem to get through.

I didn't realize fractions were allowed. Add 1/3 for "The Sportswriter," 1/8 for "Beloved," and 3/4 for "Their Eyes Were Watching God."

Can I get a multiplier for reading "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret" in second grade? In a book report? In Catholic school?

And I think I deserve partial credit for having bluffed reading about 15 of those books in college, the way I now claim to subscribe to the Utne Reader.

sebastian_dangerfield · 10-20-2005, 01:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
27 - but I'm counting as 1 the 1/2 of Infinite Jest and the 1/2 of The Recognitions I can never seem to get through.

The Watchmen is great and all, but at its heart, its a fucking comic book.

And that An American Tragedy makes the list is just a tragedy, period. That book is better than 2 ambiens and a scotch.

I'm nearing the end of Tom Wolfe's latest book, "Char Simmons." THAT is a comic book.

Yet I can't put the fucker down. That cat knows how to engage the reader. And I must give him props - for a 75 year old, he nails some of the experience of growing up, and reminds you about what an insecure, or overly-secure asshole you were and came off as when you were young.

That list is a piece of shit. But I'd expect no better from a piece of shit magazine. Time and Newsweek have fallen so far down the scale I don't even read them anymore. I just throw them into the trash. Its sad. I don't want to be so wasteful, but they're like fucking J Crew. They just keep coming in the mail.

SlaveNoMore · 10-20-2005, 02:05 AM

Quote:

sebastian_dangerfield
Time and Newsweek have fallen so far down the scale I don't even read them anymore. I just throw them into the trash. Its sad. I don't want to be so wasteful, but they're like fucking J Crew. They just keep coming in the mail.

As I wrote before on the PB. I read the WSJ. And the Economist. And Stuff.

bilmore · 10-20-2005, 02:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
27 - but I'm counting as 1 the 1/2 of Infinite Jest and the 1/2 of The Recognitions I can never seem to get through.

The Watchmen is great and all, but at its heart, its a fucking comic book.

And that An American Tragedy makes the list is just a tragedy, period. That book is better than 2 ambiens and a scotch.

27 also, but I think we should get four for Lord of the Rings (you HAVE to read the Hobbit first), and I finally laid down Infinite Jest at around page 32,541, so there should be some partial credit there too.

Weird list. Not how my list would have gone at all.

Atticus Grinch · 10-20-2005, 02:38 AM

California can now join Italy, Scythia, and Peru in having its very own ice mummy. However, he won't get a cute Bronze Age name like "Ötzi" or "Jeremy Bentham." More likely he'll wind up with a Jazz Age name like Bill, or Jim, or Joe.

How long before str8 claims to have known him?

Atticus Grinch · 10-20-2005, 02:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
I've read 25 (on the internet). I shouldn't be above you. This is like when we find out W had a higher GPA than Kerry.

There was a major at my college called "Modern Studies." One of its proponents told me he thought dead people didn't have anything "relevant" to say (mind you, this was before Cobain). I checked the online alumni directory, and everyone I remember who was in the program is now either still in grad school or is managing a Kinko's. All have home addresses with apartment numbers (none of which are in Manhattan).

Hank Chinaski · 10-20-2005, 07:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I didn't realize fractions were allowed.

2. I've read the title and cover blurbs for 4 more. 29.

Not Bob · 10-20-2005, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I'm nearing the end of Tom Wolfe's latest book, "Char Simmons." THAT is a comic book.

Yet I can't put the fucker down. That cat knows how to engage the reader. And I must give him props - for a 75 year old, he nails some of the experience of growing up, and reminds you about what an insecure, or overly-secure asshole you were and came off as when you were young.

Tom Wolfe rocks. Downsides to his novels? (1) He can be a bit unsympathetic to his characters; and (2) His endings always seem to be a bit of a let-down. (FWIW, the ending of I Am Charlotte Simmons is much better than the ending of A Man In Full, which I just re-read.)

sebastian_dangerfield · 10-20-2005, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bilmore
27 also, but I think we should get four for Lord of the Rings (you HAVE to read the Hobbit first), and I finally laid down Infinite Jest at around page 32,541, so there should be some partial credit there too.

Weird list. Not how my list would have gone at all.

You should get none for the LofTR trilogy. I still want to strangle my gradeschool teacher who forced us to read those things. Shiite - ramblings... what you’d get if you dosed a Dungeons and Dragons tournament. Thankfully, with the movies, you could focus on the battles and special effects and avoid having to even consider the “plot,” which doesn’t seem to exist. The sad thing about LoTR is that 500 years from now, some twit will be tearing it apart for his class like Canterbury Tales, talking about how its loaded with all sorts of social commentary.

ABBAKiss · 10-20-2005, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I don't. Not for one-on-one conversations.

I do, but not for personal conversations. For those I close my door and hide under my desk and crinkle lots of paper. I office next to the managing partner and we have wafer thin walls. Seriously, they could be used for communion.

greatwhitenorthchick · 10-20-2005, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Am I the only person who doesn't use speakerphone? Or do you use a headset? If so, I have an extra belt clip blackberry holder you can use.

It's very strange - speakerphone actually doesn't work on my office phone. So I just use my headset.