Drive fast, live hard, no regrets... Sorry Penske - Page 329

Shape Shifter · 09-14-2005, 05:31 PM

I know there's a general ban on Michael Jackson pictures, but I'm really curious about what this looked like:

JACKSON WATER PARK TREAT

MICHAEL JACKSON rented out an entire water park in Dubai so children and their parents could have fun for free.

The reclusive superstar, now based in the middle east, baffled onlookers at the Wild Wadi park, wearing a white lycra body suit that exposed just his nose and eyes.

A lifeguard tells British newspaper the Daily Express, "He looked even stranger than usual.

"His body is very skinny and lycra does him no favours."

http://www3.contactmusic.com/news/index22.htm

LessinSF · 09-14-2005, 05:33 PM

Why is the word "bucket" funny to me, as in "What's his bucket?"

nononono · 09-14-2005, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Not Bob
Fair enough. I'm just surprised to see wonk being forward, that's all.

Oh, I'm sure that he's just being welcoming, right?

Replaced_Texan · 09-14-2005, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I know there's a general ban on Michael Jackson pictures, but I'm really curious about what this looked like:

JACKSON WATER PARK TREAT

MICHAEL JACKSON rented out an entire water park in Dubai so children and their parents could have fun for free.

The reclusive superstar, now based in the middle east, baffled onlookers at the Wild Wadi park, wearing a white lycra body suit that exposed just his nose and eyes.

A lifeguard tells British newspaper the Daily Express, "He looked even stranger than usual.

"His body is very skinny and lycra does him no favours."

http://www3.contactmusic.com/news/index22.htm

I take it as a point of personal pride that I had no idea until now that he'd gone into exile.

taxwonk · 09-14-2005, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ironweed
Not for nuthin', but the last time someone tried to move in on one of Not Bob's little chippies they never found the guy's body. I'm just sayin'.

I'm not moving in. I'm just stopping by to say "How you doin'?

robustpuppy · 09-14-2005, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I take it as a point of personal pride that I had no idea until now that he'd gone into exile.

Does Dubai have a lot of deprived kids?

ThurgreedMarshall · 09-14-2005, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Flinty beat (tee hee!) all of us to the joke here.

I had a dream a couple of weeks ago that I haven't gotten around to sharing with the Board. This one had no recently departed news anchors -- it was populated entirely of FB people.

I was riding on a bus with Sequels. Coltrane and Sebby had just died engaging in a heroic ocean rescue (although those rescuers perished, the victims survived), and Sequels was devastated. As we rode along toward our undetermined destination, I consoled her while she wept over her lost love and the wedding and the family that was never to be. As I was tut-tutting and telling Sequels how much Coltrane loved her (all the while holding back my tears over my lost internet love, out of deference to his beloved wife), the bus driver piped up and said, in a snarky tone, "Don't listen to her sentimental crap. Coltrane had cold feet, big time, and only proposed because you were both hitting thirty and he saw the ultimatum on the wall."

I turned to see that it was Piagow driving the bus. She had a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and was wearing a getup you might see on Stevie Nicks, if she were homeless. Lots of chiffon and whatnot. She had her left foot, which was shod in a high-heeled strappy sandal, up on the dash, which was curious because the bus had a manual transmission.

I turned my attention away from the driver and back to Sequels, to whom I said, "Don't listen to her, she's crazy, and bitter because Coltrane was never her internet boyfriend. Coltrane really loved you. He said that you were the only woman he'd ever dated whom he wanted to be with exclusively. If you don't believe me, ask Gwinky, DTB, and Fringey."

I think Sequels was consoled, but at that point my attention was again distracted, this time by the fact that the bus was headed straight for the river. At this point I noticed empty Shiraz bottles and wine-filled chocolate boxes on the bus floor, and I called out, "Who the fuck let Paigow drive the fucking bus?"

As the river drew ever closer, and I pondered how the newspaper headline would convey the painful irony of Sequels's perishing in a water-related accident so soon after losing her fiance to a water rescue (and how my love affair with Sebby would never be acknowledged) I realized, with great relief, that we were riding on one of those duck tour buses.

When I got off in front of the Lincoln Memorial, Thurgreed was there to meet me, and the first thing he said was, "Who the fuck let Paigow drive the fucking bus?"

You didn't look on the side of the bus? It says, "SlaveTours, Inc."

TM

NotFromHere · 09-14-2005, 05:48 PM

Alla Wartenberg, whose "Apprentice" bio describes her as a self-made multi-millionaire who owns a chain of upscale salons and day spas in Las Vegas, allegedly once worked at a Vegas strip club and may have been involved with a man who conspired to rob and murder several individuals, according to theSmokingGun.com.

According to the web site's report, during her days working at The Palomino, an all-nude Vegas club, "Wartenberg developed a 'pretty platonic relationship' with a regular named Robert Acremant, a California businessman who would pay her between $500-1500 (and sometimes more) for an evening's worth of dances."

However, it was this courtship of Alla that would allegedly drive a desperate Acremant, who needed money to spend on Alla, to plot the 1995 robbery of two Oregon women — an attempted heist that ended with Acremant killing the duo, the web site reports.

Acremant also murdered Scott George, a California friend, in a second botched 1995 robbery bid, according to the site.

Convicted in the slayings, Acremant has been sentenced to death in both California and Oregon, where he is currently imprisoned. According to investigators, Acremant considered Alla his girlfriend, while she saw him as nothing more than a cash machine, a pleasant mark with whom she shared her phone number, but no intimacies, the web site report continued.

Makes you wonder, if she makes this kind of money, why she wants to be the Apprentice?

taxwonk · 09-14-2005, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Not Bob
Word.

Apropos of nothing, "Not Bob's Little Chippies" would be a good name for a band.

I thought that's waht you got Big Wanda over to the Dew Droppe Inn to start calling the home fries?

taxwonk · 09-14-2005, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Not Bob
Fair enough. I'm just surprised to see wonk being forward, that's all.

I can't help it. I tried to just make idle chit-chat, but then Coltrane, PLF, Weed, and Hank cornered me in the parking lot and told me to start using my schtick or they'd beat me to death with it.

ThurgreedMarshall · 09-14-2005, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Mena Suvari? Natasha Lyonne? The chick from Buffy?

And Coltrane wishes.

TM

taxwonk · 09-14-2005, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ty@50
Have I mentioned that Wonk gets to be a big star in elder-porno?

Good 'til my heart pops!

Not Bob · 09-14-2005, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere

Is that the Chrysler Building, or are you just glad to see me?

robustpuppy · 09-14-2005, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall

And Coltrane wishes.

TM

For a woman with suprisingly uneven nipple placement?

taxwonk · 09-14-2005, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by nononono
Oh, I'm sure that he's just being welcoming, right?

Um, yeah. That's right. Welcoming.