Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones!

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by dtb
I didn't think the "no blowjobs from hookers" was qualified by city of employment.

He didn't say anything about blowjobs from non-hookers, though.

You, a literalist?

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
I'm sure I'm opening myself up to ridicule by saying this, but I don't dig strippers, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. While the physical beauty of many stripper sis undeniable, I don't really enjoy strange women writing all over me and the chair I'm sitting in.

Thoughts?

2.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
I'm sure I'm opening myself up to ridicule by saying this, but I don't dig strippers, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. While the physical beauty of many stripper sis undeniable, I don't really enjoy strange women writing all over me and the chair I'm sitting in.

Thoughts?

You're a three dollar bill.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Hello Sebby

I am so glad you are here to pass this Monday with. How was your weekend? Did you do anything interesting? I did some volunteer work at a charity whihc was very rewarding. I also got a deep tissue massage which left me feeling like I had done some intense yoga- the gal applied an acupresure technique which I have never expereinced before> I recommend this. I also bought a fabulous new cape made of silk and angora. All very rewarding. I did not go see Jackpot though I contemplated it briefly.

Translation: I am lonely. When we meet I'm going to fuck your brains out.

TM

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
I'm sure I'm opening myself up to ridicule by saying this, but I don't dig strippers, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. While the physical beauty of many stripper sis undeniable, I don't really enjoy strange women writing all over me and the chair I'm sitting in.

Thoughts?

I'm not a fan of male strippers. Probably for the same reason. Don't. Touch. Me. I don't know where that thing has been.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by baltassoc
2.

Uh, I only know RT from the internet, and even I know she doesn't believe that bullshit.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
You're a three dollar bill.

Whatever, dude. Having a skanky chick wiggle her ass at me is simply not my idea of a good time, even if she *is* trying to put herself through college, etc.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I'm not a fan of male strippers. Probably for the same reason. Don't. Touch. Me. I don't know where that thing has been.

At spin class?

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Uh, I only know RT from the internet, and even I know she doesn't believe that bullshit.

Well, I'm not buying your little attempt at plausible deniability on the board ("But honey, I even told my imaginary friends on the internet I didn't get a blow job, and why would I lie to them?", and neither will your wife.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Peter Fonda's character threw his watch away at the beginning of Easy Rider, and that seemed to turn out okay.

Right.

Speaking of movies, I had a dream in which Dave Chappelle played in a remake of "The Great Escape" -- not the Steve McQueen part, but the guy who had the bad leg. Weird, eh?

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
I'm sure I'm opening myself up to ridicule by saying this, but I don't dig strippers, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. While the physical beauty of many stripper sis undeniable, I don't really enjoy strange women writing all over me and the chair I'm sitting in.

Thoughts?

I like strippers, I don't like lap dancers (male or female). I'm old skool like that. If you are going to go for a lapdance you may as well just go for the hooker. More efficient means to the end.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I'm getting ass fucked daily in so many other ways... gas seems the least of the offenses...

Wouldn't that depend on the sensibilities of the person fucking you in your ass?

TM

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I'm not a fan of male strippers. Probably for the same reason. Don't. Touch. Me. I don't know where that thing has been.

Exactly. I was once asked to work as a bouncer at a bachelor party thrown by a friend for one of his fraternity brothers. The entertainment for the evening consisted of two women who appeared to really like one another, and demonstrated that affection for more than an hour, using everything from proper sex toys to a coke bottle and a lollypop. They then put canned chopped pineapple (seriously, I couldn't make this up) all over their tits and pussies and allowed the guys to eat the pineapple from them. I nearly puked. Call me a germophobe, but eating chopped pineapple from a stripper's pussy is a seriously questionable idea.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Whatever, dude. Having a skanky chick wiggle her ass at me is simply not my idea of a good time, even if she *is* trying to put herself through college, etc.

Oh, I understand. I don't go nuts for the strippers. its a waste of money, and you're not getting laid, so there's no point. BUT, when she's shaking her money maker in front of me, I'll watch. And if she sits on my lap... fuck it. My pants have absorbed worse.

I don't know how anyone bangs a hooker. I had one playing with herself in front of me a few years ago while I was at 30,000 ft on a few substances. She kept begging for drugs and offered me quite literally every service she could provide for one hit of x. I'm not kidding. I could have inserted anything I liked anywhere. I could never imagine fucking something that desperate... I just sat back, waited for the time to run out (my buddies had bought me a "private dance" as an engagement gift) and amused myself watching her work herself out. What a mess...

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Exactly. I was once asked to work as a bouncer at a bachelor party thrown by a friend for one of his fraternity brothers. The entertainment for the evening consisted of two women who appeared to really like one another, and demonstrated that affection for more than an hour, using everything from proper sex toys to a coke bottle and a lollypop. They then put canned chopped pineapple (seriously, I couldn't make this up) all over their tits and pussies and allowed the guys to eat the pineapple from them. I nearly puked. Call me a germophobe, but eating chopped pineapple from a stripper's pussy is a seriously questionable idea.

Was it the bigger cubes (2" x 2")of or the finely diced pineapple?