Less to See than on NHL Center Ice®

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
1. I was in a corner store today, buying a gatorade -- just waiting on line. The person in front of me bought a pack of Marlboros. The guy behind the counter said, "$7." I looked on the counter to see what else was being purchased. Nothing. Just cigarettes. Seven fucking dollars. Can you believe that shit? A pack a day habit would run you over $2,500 a year. Jesus.

2. Barry Bonds can kiss my ass. What a fucking moron. Did anyone else hear his rant yesterday? I can't believe this guy. He actually thinks he's the greatest and that the press has fed lies to everyone and that steroids don't help you in baseball.

He called the press in the room liars to their faces. Is there some rule in journalism that keeps you from saying, "Fuck you, Barry. You're a lying, cheating sack of shit and I'm here to write about it"?

1. $7 a pack and lung cancer to boot. No wonder they have to make the shits addictive.

2. No, Barry but my kid probably has as good hand eye coordination as you, just when he makes contact, the ball one-hops over third base because his arms are the size of a pretzel rod. Steroids don't help you make contact but they sure make a difference to where the ball goes.

I'll give Pudge the benefit of the doubt. There is a reason the call him "pudge".

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by pony_trekker
I'll give Pudge the benefit of the doubt. There is a reason the call him "pudge".

Is there also a reason he has the head of a cro-magnon man?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by pony_trekker
I'll give Pudge the benefit of the doubt. There is a reason the call him "pudge".

I believe his mother is Samoan.

[Atticus Grinch]

The Big Book of British Smiles.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I was talking about the other cocktails named after Ms. Black, including the Black & Tan, the Black Russian, the Negroni, the Lolita, the Cherry Vodka, and the Comfortable Screw. Fuckwad.

1. The Black & Tan is not a cocktail.

2. A night of chick drink drinking in SF. Sounds like fun. First round of Lolitas are on me!

Vagina-mouth.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Vagina-mouth.

Using this as an insult makes me think you like neither vaginas nor mouths. Please confirm and/or explain -- we need the information for your entry.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall

He used the old, "steroids doesn't improve hand-eye coordination" bit. Okay. Then why the fuck are you so big? Does it help you hit the ball farther? Does it help that your muscles recover at the rate of an 18 year old, instead of a 40 year-old?

Steroids benefit fast-twitch muscles (see Ben Johnson). They inherently improve hand-eye coordination by making the muscle in the hand quicker.

Additionally, no one ever asks Barry about HGH's ability to enhance vision, which I think would also increase hand-eye coordination.

HGH may help even more than steroids. That shit actually makes you look younger. The uber rich, via doctors, use it to defy age. HGH can increase your muscle mass w/out even going to the gym.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
The Big Book of British Smiles.

• While we British smile by pulling our lips back and upwards and exposing our lower teeth, Americans are more likely simply to part their lips and stretch the corners of their mouths.

You would think with the relative advances in dentistry in the two countries, the results would be the opposite.

Speaking of the UK, I would choose the week after the biggest fall of the dollar in recent memory to travel there. This is going to suck. If anyone has any cheap pub recs in London, send them my way.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Using this as an insult makes me think you like neither vaginas nor mouths. Please confirm and/or explain -- we need the information for your entry.

What makes you think I was using it as an insult?

Originally posted by tmdiva
American Idol recap:

I thought I liked about half the guys, but almost everyone sucked! The fact that so many otherwise good singers stumbled when trying to sing miked with a band shows that it takes a special kind of ear to be a pop star.

Nikko: Nice upper register. However, serious pitch problems at the end of every phrase in his mid-range. No charisma.

Scott: Aside from a slightly Neville-esque vibrato, I thought he sounded great. AND he managed to convey the emotion of the song, which I had been doubtful he would be able to do. I voted for him.

Anthony: Dropping your real name (Anatoly) was a huge mistake, because that and the tracheotomy are the only interesting things about this guy. Bo-ring.

Bo: Perfect song choice and nice performance. Nice body to his voice. I didn't like him before (they hadn't shown him much), but I like him now. I voted for him, too.

Travis: Seriously nervous. Kept smiling broadly to keep his lips from trembling, and singing without vibrato to keep his voice from quavering. Very cute guy but not an exciting singer. Some pitch problems at the ends of phrases.

Constantine: I liked him a lot going in, but he just didn't wow me here. The experience I assumed he would have performing with a microphone did not play out, and he had some of the same problems as Leah "Labelle" last year. Hard to describe, but it has to do with how things sound differently to you and to other people.

David: Ouch. Out of tune for almost the whole song. Strained quality to his voice that doesn't play well over a mike.

Jared: Totally boy-band. Boring.

Anwar: Nice voice with body. Love the middle-school music teacher angle. Sang confidently. Voted for him.

Judd: Boy-band look, vintage rocker sound. He did okay, but I don't have much hope of seeing great range and flexibility from this guy.

Joseph: Sang better than Michael Bolton, but that's not saying terribly much. Also boring. Sets off my gaydar, NTTAWWT.

Mario: Some mishit notes, but great energy. Is he crosseyed, or does he just look that way sometimes? I am bugged by the (mis)pronunciation of his last name.

Girls tonight--for their sake I hope they learn from the boys' mistakes, or it will be a long night.

tm

PS Anyone else watch The Bachelorette: the Men Tell All last night? Josh Virgin Marathoner is still sending my gaydar into the red zone. And he's just so angry. The Nile is not just a river in Egypt, Joshy-boy. Somebody get this kid into therapy.

Hi, sorry, wasnt caught up but I saw the guys last night (tivo screwedup the other recording- dunno if it was a results show or another talent show).

The first couple of guys sucked. I like the Matt Dillon from Singles guy a lot (for this show, still his rocker legitimacy is questioned bny being on this show). Travis was decent. Constantine looks like the love child of Chris Robinson and Andre Agassi but still manages to be pretty adorable. His singing was weak. He is his hair. I saw Anwar and immediately thought he was going to win. I said to my self "This is my next American Idol" . Everyone else has been forgotten by me.

Are the results in?

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
HGH may help even more than steroids. That shit actually makes you look younger. The uber rich, via doctors, use it to defy age. HGH can increase your muscle mass w/out even going to the gym.

I used to have a client that was into anti-aging medicine and tried to open a few clinics. (I even think he was board certified, but I'm a little skeptical about the peer review process of the Anti-Aging Specialization Boards.)

Anyhow, HGH was the flagship product of his anti-aging practice. It's an extremely sensitive compound. Has to be refrigerated, has to be injected and the synthetics do not work. He was working on developing some other anti-aging products, but I don't know if they ever got off the ground.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
What makes you think I was using it as an insult?

Hm. Good question. Your comments were clearly complimentary.

What's in a Lolita?

Originally posted by Diane_Keaton
This guy seems really cute to me, except for that piece of his beard. Is it just the picture? What's the story? He looks Filipino. Mmnnnnn. Filipino men.

Mexican immigrant who illegally crossed the border successfully, thank god. A gay straight man. As my BIL says, if I didnt see his wife and kids I would swear he was [a] gay. Awesome saver of dogs and great dog psychologist.

He looks cuter in that pic I think but I also think he looks very gay.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
What's in a Lolita?

I really like that this question raises so many possible answers. Heh heh. Raises.

[barely_legal]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Hi, sorry, wasnt caught up but I saw the guys last night (tivo screwedup the other recording- dunno if it was a results show or another talent show).

The first couple of guys sucked. I like the Matt Dillon from Singles guy a lot (for this show, still his rocker legitimacy is questioned bny being on this show). Travis was decent. Constantine looks like the love child of Chris Robinson and Andre Agassi but still manages to be pretty adorable. His singing was weak. He is his hair. I saw Anwar and immediately thought he was going to win. I said to my self "This is my next American Idol" . Everyone else has been forgotten by me.

Are the results in?

Results show is tonight (9:00, I think).

I don't want to freak you out but I had a dream last night in which you made a cameo appearance and you had just had a baby. I don't have psychic dreams (my mother does, but I didn't inherit that little gift) but just in case I'm developing psychic powers, I thought you should know.