Fashion Board 6-9-04 to 7-13-04

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
I just want the cash.

When you say this (or people, generally), is this an actual option?

Do people have parents who say "You can have a $25k wedding budget, or just take the cash"?

I sort of assumed, not that I confronted the issue, that the people paying the bill just maybe perhaps actually wanted a big party themselves and were using a child as a handy excuse for it.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
Who is it that always gripes about people who have cash bars at their weddings? Sebby?

Well, I've been to two weddings in the past three weeks and the first one had an open bar for about 2 hours, and then they switched to cash after the stuff they had pre-paid for ran out (f'ers didn't tell anyone that was how it was going to work, not that they were obligated to, but if I had known, I woulda stocked up for the night). The second one had a pure cash bar. Didn't even get a f'ing glass of sham-pain. Assholes.

I'm going to start asking around, discretely, ahead of time for info on whether there's going to be a cash bar or open bar and then I'm going to purchase gifts accordingly.

I've been to a wedding reception where the family/couple truly could not afford to have an open bar. Completely understandable, and I knew the situation in advance. I purchased the same $$$ of gift that I normally purchase.

OTOH, I've been a wedding reception where only beer and wine were free. You had to pay for liquor. Watching the bride's parents drive from the hotel in their 745 BMW on Sunday morning made me want to demand that they reimburse me for the vodka I drank the night before.

[sunnybunny]

Speaking of Weddings....I assume everyone would be pissed if I had an entirely veggie wedding? Do I have to serve meat? Mr. Bunny would be shooting up steak in the bathroom if we didn't, so this is just a hypothetical, but I am curious how it owuld be taken if we had tons of booze, but no meat?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
Who is it that always gripes about people who have cash bars at their weddings? Sebby?

Well, I've been to two weddings in the past three weeks and the first one had an open bar for about 2 hours, and then they switched to cash after the stuff they had pre-paid for ran out (f'ers didn't tell anyone that was how it was going to work, not that they were obligated to, but if I had known, I woulda stocked up for the night). The second one had a pure cash bar. Didn't even get a f'ing glass of sham-pain. Assholes.

I'm going to start asking around, discretely, ahead of time for info on whether there's going to be a cash bar or open bar and then I'm going to purchase gifts accordingly.

Its just bad form. Inexcusable. I also take issue with the "wine or beer only" thing certain people do. I'll admit that's not nearly as bad, but its not really polite either. The assumption at weddings is that there will be free beer, liquor and wine. Cordials, champagne and super-high end shit should not be expected free.

THE best drink for weddings is Red Bull and vodka. We gave our golf course's kitchen staff 50 or so bottle of RB. People danced like crazy and the after party went on till nearly the next morning. The vodka tab was astronomical... many multiples of anything else on the tab. I highly recommend this strategy.

[sunnybunny]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
When you say this (or people, generally), is this an actual option?

Do people have parents who say "You can have a $25k wedding budget, or just take the cash"?

I sort of assumed, not that I confronted the issue, that the people paying the bill just maybe perhaps actually wanted a big party themselves and were using a child as a handy excuse for it.

I'm not sure it always is an option, but my parents hate each other with a firey passion that knows no bounds (and you wonder why I'm so pleasant all the time?) and my dad would easily cough up money to not have to be civil for a wedding. I'd actually probalby get more money to not have a wedding than to have one.

[patentparanyc]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
There is nothing more tacky that having a cash bar at a wedding. Who does this? Who, BRC, who?

If one cannot afford to ply your guests with unlimited alcohol, then it is far preferable simply to close the bar early or serve only beer and wine. Or only wine, cheap wine, that no one will want more than one glass of, than to have the guests pay for the bar. What's next--dinner with a chicken breast, but an optional upgrade to steak for $8?

Oh the humanity.

You should have open bar. If you cannot afford open bar the whole time, then a modified open bar for several hours is acceptable. [say, during the cocktail hour] Otherwise, limit the amount of people you invite.....But a pure cash bar is tack-ola schmola. I'm not a huge fan of the wedding buffet. I am sure there are lovely wedding buffets but I prefer personally a sit down dinner.......

Pursuant to the books recently read, I forgot to mention the book Present Value by Sabin Willett a partner at Bingham Mc Cutcheon. Very good book with a twist. It's all about his journey through an insider trader scandal and how it rocks his world and his wife's who is a big partner at one of the law firms in Boston. It's a social satire, and I thought it was pretty entertaining......

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
There is nothing more tacky that having a cash bar at a wedding. Who does this? Who, BRC, who?

If one cannot afford to ply your guests with unlimited alcohol, then it is far preferable simply to close the bar early or serve only beer and wine. Or only wine, cheap wine, that no one will want more than one glass of, than to have the guests pay for the bar. What's next--dinner with a chicken breast, but an optional upgrade to steak for $8?

Oh the humanity.

I've never attended a wedding that had a cash bar (though, I think I have been to one or two that had the sort of pre-allotted alcohol then cash bar concept that MR referred to). I have been to one or two icky southern baptist weddings that had no bar. Luckily I knew of this issue in advance, liquored up before the wedding and cut a hasty retreat during the cake and punch "reception".

And w/r/t Burger's question, yes, I've known a number of parents of the bride who have offered cash towards a down payment in lieu of a big wedding. The friends who received those offers all turned them down. Idiots.

Unless the wedding is for a very close friend, I can do without the big wedding and reception, but that is mainly because I, as a rule, have plenty of fun with my Saturday nights without being forced to sit through any freaking ceremony beforehand.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
When you say this (or people, generally), is this an actual option?

Do people have parents who say "You can have a $25k wedding budget, or just take the cash"?

I sort of assumed, not that I confronted the issue, that the people paying the bill just maybe perhaps actually wanted a big party themselves and were using a child as a handy excuse for it.

Sometimes, people pay for their own weddings in lieu of having parents who pay for them. If, for example, a child makes oh about twice as much as the parents' combined income.

How fat is your trust fund? Wanna go on a date?

[sunnybunny]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Its just bad form. Inexcusable. I also take issue with the "wine or beer only" thing certain people do. I'll admit that's not nearly as bad, but its not really polite either. The assumption at weddings is that there will be free beer, liquor and wine. Cordials, champagne and super-high end shit should not be expected free.

THE best drink for weddings is Red Bull and vodka. We gave our golf course's kitchen staff 50 or so bottle of RB. People danced like crazy and the after party went on till nearly the next morning. The vodka tab was astronomical... many multiples of anything else on the tab. I highly recommend this strategy.

Oh, and one of my parents does not drink, and one uses Glenlevit to brush em's teeth, so I'm not sure how booze would be handled. Yes, I'm definitely thinking '67 corvette.

[the Spartan]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
Agreed. On the rare occasion that Mr. Bunny and I talk about our theoretical wedding, it is he who wants the big wedding (he is more focused on teh reception aspect) and me who wants to elope. The only way I am ever able to get him off this position is to suggest that we could use the wedding money to (no, not buy lunchboxes) buy a '67 corvette (which we both really like). But then he talks about his aged grandmother and how she was so insistant on having a big wedding for his mother that there were 3,000 people in attendance (I KID YOU NOT) and how it would send her to an early grave (even though she's already 87, so I think that point has passed) if he didn't have an elaborate wedding. Sigh. I just want the cash.

One cool idea would be for Mr. Bunny, iimuta, to get his groomsmen little commerative lunchboxes as groomsmen gifts. they could be packed with reception survival sundries, eg: a cigar, matches, a little airplane sized bottle of single malt scotch, a condom, jicbycnbts , aspirin and sunscreen.

If he should go with this, remember, I invented it.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
Oh, and one of my parents does not drink, and one uses Glenlevit to brush em's teeth, so I'm not sure how booze would be handled. Yes, I'm definitely thinking '67 corvette.

My in laws are the same way. The non-drinker just laughed at the tab, having been a very heavy heavy drinker previously in his life (his present non-drinking was, how shall we say "necessitated").

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
When you say this (or people, generally), is this an actual option?

Do people have parents who say "You can have a $25k wedding budget, or just take the cash"?

I sort of assumed, not that I confronted the issue, that the people paying the bill just maybe perhaps actually wanted a big party themselves and were using a child as a handy excuse for it.

Yes. We were offered the lump sum cash settlement. And then told how happy they were that we turned it down.

[sunnybunny]

Originally posted by the Spartan
One cool idea would be for Mr. Bunny, iimuta, to get his groomsmen little commerative lunchboxes as groomsmen gifts. they could be packed with reception survival sundries, eg: a cigar, matches, a little airplane sized bottle of single malt scotch, a condom, jicbycnbts , aspirin and sunscreen.

If he should go with this, remember, I invented it.

NOt a bad idea, though they wouldn't get the Beatles lunchbox that I just got him, for which I paid nearly $200. They'll get cheap replicas! NOt to mention that he said he has 12 (12!!!) people who have to be groomsmen. and if he were going by reciprocity of those whose wedding party's he's been in, it would be 20. rEdiculous.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
Speaking of Weddings....I assume everyone would be pissed if I had an entirely veggie wedding? Do I have to serve meat? Mr. Bunny would be shooting up steak in the bathroom if we didn't, so this is just a hypothetical, but I am curious how it owuld be taken if we had tons of booze, but no meat?

So the idea would be to impose your views on others?

This is a bad idea... (see generally southern baptist weddings with no booze).

[patentparanyc]

Originally posted by the Spartan
One cool idea would be for Mr. Bunny, iimuta, to get his groomsmen little commerative lunchboxes as groomsmen gifts. they could be packed with reception survival sundries, eg: a cigar, matches, a little airplane sized bottle of single malt scotch, a condom, jicbycnbts , aspirin and sunscreen.

If he should go with this, remember, I invented it.

I second that motion, yes, indeed-y, the lunchboxes shall serve as wedding party favors, wrapped in gauze and a ribbon, a la the candy almonds....