Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones!

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I was typing as she was talking. Let me distill the key points:

-Parked bright red Merceded 150E (or whatever) illegall on quad daily and just let daddy pay the tickets.
-Run DMC at Sweet Sixteen


You, my dear, are no Long Island JAP. No such creature would ever have gone to law school. This type of creature, if she chooses to work at all, does so at a business her daddy bought her. Natalie, who was also a jap, had her dad buy her a chain of fried chicken stores in the city to teach her how to run a business. She did thsi while doing publicity at SPK records. Bettheny's dad bought her a business (the one that makes her a :"natural foods chef").

If you can compete with these gals, i am not sure I want to party with you, cowgirl. Suffice it to say, I doubt you can, bc such gals would not fetishize lacrosse players.

I agree that I am no Long Island JAP. I am better. I am a Northeast Philly JAP.

As for all the rest of this, you have no idea what I do with my days, what my daddy has ever bought for me, or what I drive and where I park it.

But I am living proof that JAPs do love lacrosse players.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
What language is this? I lost my decoder ring again.

Cool kids' table, indeed.

Powerpoint slides. Because I'm in a corporation now, baby.

Anyway, I'm sure you caught the all-important "69" reference.

[dtb]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
I agree that I am no Long Island JAP. I am better. I am a Northeast Philly JAP.

As for all the rest of this, you have no idea what I do with my days, what my daddy has ever bought for me, or what I drive and where I park it.

But I am living proof that JAPs do love lacrosse players.

My college roommate was a NYC Jap. She totally dug lacrosse players.

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
I agree that I am no Long Island JAP. I am better. I am a Northeast Philly JAP.

As for all the rest of this, you have no idea what I do with my days, what my daddy has ever bought for me, or what I drive and where I park it.

But I am living proof that JAPs do love lacrosse players.

You went to law school. Did you go to find a husband or a career? I am not saying you arent a jap, I am just saying you are not As Jappy As It Gets. Do you wear liquid black eyeliner and enough foundatino to warrant the nickname "Base Face"? Do you wear bronzey power (what was that stuff called that came in the pottery looking jug- ____ Earth"? Didnt you once say that people never think you are Jewish? That right there elimninates your from Ultimate Jap Status.


This would be a great Reality TV Show.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
You went to law school. Did you go to find a husband or a career? I am not saying you arent a jap, I am just saying you are not As Jappy As It Gets. Do you wear liquid black eyeliner and enough foundatino to warrant the nickname "Base Face"? Do you wear bronzey power (what was that stuff called that came in the pottery looking jug- ____ Earth"? Didnt you once say that people never think you are Jewish? That right there elimninates your from Ultimate Jap Status.


This would be a great Reality TV Show.

This makes me sad. I miss the JAPs. Seattle is not very JAPpy. I know one person here who fancies herself a JAP and I am probably more JAPpy than she is. [sigh]


OTOH, there are no blumpkins with JAPs, right Sebbie?

[dtb]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
This makes me sad. I miss the JAPs. Seattle is not very JAPpy. I know one person here who fancies herself a JAP and I am probably more JAPpy than she is. [sigh]


OTOH, there are no blumpkins with JAPs, right Sebbie?

OK. I give. What are blumpkins?

[Replaced_Texan]

Evacuated. Unbelievably happy my brother and I had the "what to do when aliens/terrorists/hurrianes attack" conversation in July, because our discussion of the back roads turned a potential 14 hour car ride into a 4 and a half hour one (usually an hour and a half).

Am at the Austin Bergstrom airport taking advantage of wifi while waiting for balt to get here for ACL. Have seen a lot of guitars come through and a lot of hipster kids. ACL has a booth downstairs with volunteers handing out schedule grids. I was glad to take one because I forgot to print mine out when I left yesterday. I remembered my home owners insurance policy, so I guess that's something.

We passed the highways a few times last night, and I was stuck on one briefly this afternoon when driving to Austin. I got here three hours early because I had no idea how long the normally 45 minute trip would take. It took three hours. Going four miles an hour sucks under normal circumstances, but going four miles an hour when you have no idea if you'll ever crest 10 is nearly unbearable. I had to do it for about ten miles today. Ugh.

Lots of cars on the side of the road. Nearly every gas station has at least 20 cars waiting to fill up. People creating lanes and using the shoulders to drive on. No real testiness that I could tell, but I didn't have to endure it for too long.

Having a personal on-star system in the form of a lawyer in chicago with access to google maps detailing the backroads, rocks. Even if cell service was sort of spotty.

At one point, I turned off my A/C because I was slightly concerned about when I'd next get gas. It was 100 degrees today. That sucked.

From what I hear, it looks like my house will be ok, though I'm still not sure about the pecan tree. We're supposed to check in on Sunday to see if there's work on Monday. Heh. I'll get there if I get there.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
1. J.A.P.

J.A.P.
Jewish American Princess; a bitchy, spoiled, golddigging Jewish female; Raised in a wealthy household, selfish, high-maintenance to the point of sheer insanity, stuck-up, the worst woman to date/marry on planet earth, yet deemed the most desirable by jewish mothers, who attempt to force them down the throats of their unsuspecting sons (all for the sake of perserving "Jewish Heritage.")

A Female who collects designer fashion items and status symbols (including men).
Bane to the existence of dating men. The key to an unhappy relationship for the rest of your life. Large breasted, outwardly attractive, internally spoiled, greedy, complicated, self-righteous, and obnoxiously difficult and overbearing jewish female.

References:
See www.jdate.com or refer to the "She put the Jew in Jewess Jeans" classic Saturday Night Live skit for examples.
"Jdate is full of J.A.P.'s."

"That girl is a total J.A.P."

"What an f_ing J.A.P.!"

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=J.A.P.

"Large breasted, outwardly attractive, internally spoiled, greedy, complicated, self-righteous, and obnoxiously difficult and overbearing jewish female."

Let's see.... check. check. check. check. check. check.

Yup. That's me.

Are you sure you're not missing a check or two here?

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Evacuated.

We're still here harboring at least one inner loop refugee. The Mr. actually went to work today even though his office is closed. Your tax dollars at work. We have a massive water oak we expect to plop onto our house, but that's what insurance is for.

[SlaveNoMore]

Replaced_Texan
Evacuated. Unbelievably happy my brother and I had the "what to do when aliens/terrorists/hurrianes attack" conversation in July, because our discussion of the back roads turned a potential 14 hour car ride into a 4 and a half hour one (usually an hour and a half).

Am at the Austin Bergstrom airport taking advantage of wifi while waiting for balt to get here for ACL. Have seen a lot of guitars come through and a lot of hipster kids. ACL has a booth downstairs with volunteers handing out schedule grids. I was glad to take one because I forgot to print mine out when I left yesterday. I remembered my home owners insurance policy, so I guess that's something.

We passed the highways a few times last night, and I was stuck on one briefly this afternoon when driving to Austin. I got here three hours early because I had no idea how long the normally 45 minute trip would take. It took three hours. Going four miles an hour sucks under normal circumstances, but going four miles an hour when you have no idea if you'll ever crest 10 is nearly unbearable. I had to do it for about ten miles today. Ugh.

Lots of cars on the side of the road. Nearly every gas station has at least 20 cars waiting to fill up. People creating lanes and using the shoulders to drive on. No real testiness that I could tell, but I didn't have to endure it for too long.

Having a personal on-star system in the form of a lawyer in chicago with access to google maps detailing the backroads, rocks. Even if cell service was sort of spotty.

At one point, I turned off my A/C because I was slightly concerned about when I'd next get gas. It was 100 degrees today. That sucked.

From what I hear, it looks like my house will be ok, though I'm still not sure about the pecan tree. We're supposed to check in on Sunday to see if there's work on Monday. Heh. I'll get there if I get there.

So does this make the Drive-bys vs. Widespread coinflip moot?

• Latest News on Hurricane Rita & ACL
  
  The show is on. Thank you for hanging in there with us while we've watched the progress of Hurricane Rita. The meteorologists we have consulted with advised us to wait until 48 hours before expected landfall in order to get the most accurate look at the storm's track. As you may have already heard, the latest report from the National Weather Service shows Rita shifting further east than originally predicted, placing Austin outside the range of severe weather related to the hurricane. Therefore, we are planning to go forward with the Festival as originally planned.
  
  The forecast now calls for mostly sunny weather on Friday with a high near 100. A 20 to 30 percent chance of rain is predicted for Saturday and Sunday with winds around 15 to 20 mph and overall cooler temperatures.
  
  Regardless of the nice weather we are now expecting, we are continuing to monitor the hurricane very closely. The safety of our fans, the musicians and our crew is our top priority, and we are working with the city to make sure we are prepared for every contingency. Should anything change, we will post updates on our web site and coordinate with the media to disseminate information as quickly as possible.
  
  In addition to the weather, many of you have been wondering about ticket refunds, hotel availability, artist cancellations, etc. Thank you for your patience while we wade through the pile of emails. In the meantime, we will be posting replies to the most frequently asked questions on our web site on Friday morning.
  

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Evacuated. Unbelievably happy my brother and I had the "what to do when aliens/terrorists/hurrianes attack" conversation in July, because our discussion of the back roads turned a potential 14 hour car ride into a 4 and a half hour one (usually an hour and a half).

Am at the Austin Bergstrom airport taking advantage of wifi while waiting for balt to get here for ACL. Have seen a lot of guitars come through and a lot of hipster kids. ACL has a booth downstairs with volunteers handing out schedule grids. I was glad to take one because I forgot to print mine out when I left yesterday. I remembered my home owners insurance policy, so I guess that's something.

We passed the highways a few times last night, and I was stuck on one briefly this afternoon when driving to Austin. I got here three hours early because I had no idea how long the normally 45 minute trip would take. It took three hours. Going four miles an hour sucks under normal circumstances, but going four miles an hour when you have no idea if you'll ever crest 10 is nearly unbearable. I had to do it for about ten miles today. Ugh.

Lots of cars on the side of the road. Nearly every gas station has at least 20 cars waiting to fill up. People creating lanes and using the shoulders to drive on. No real testiness that I could tell, but I didn't have to endure it for too long.

Having a personal on-star system in the form of a lawyer in chicago with access to google maps detailing the backroads, rocks. Even if cell service was sort of spotty.

At one point, I turned off my A/C because I was slightly concerned about when I'd next get gas. It was 100 degrees today. That sucked.

From what I hear, it looks like my house will be ok, though I'm still not sure about the pecan tree. We're supposed to check in on Sunday to see if there's work on Monday. Heh. I'll get there if I get there.

Sounds like, on balance, you've been really lucky so far.

Here's hoping it continues.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
So does this make the Drive-bys vs. Widespread coinflip moot?

• Latest News on Hurricane Rita & ACL
  
  The show is on. Thank you for hanging in there with us while we've watched the progress of Hurricane Rita. The meteorologists we have consulted with advised us to wait until 48 hours before expected landfall in order to get the most accurate look at the storm's track. As you may have already heard, the latest report from the National Weather Service shows Rita shifting further east than originally predicted, placing Austin outside the range of severe weather related to the hurricane. Therefore, we are planning to go forward with the Festival as originally planned.
  
  The forecast now calls for mostly sunny weather on Friday with a high near 100. A 20 to 30 percent chance of rain is predicted for Saturday and Sunday with winds around 15 to 20 mph and overall cooler temperatures.
  
  Regardless of the nice weather we are now expecting, we are continuing to monitor the hurricane very closely. The safety of our fans, the musicians and our crew is our top priority, and we are working with the city to make sure we are prepared for every contingency. Should anything change, we will post updates on our web site and coordinate with the media to disseminate information as quickly as possible.
  
  In addition to the weather, many of you have been wondering about ticket refunds, hotel availability, artist cancellations, etc. Thank you for your patience while we wade through the pile of emails. In the meantime, we will be posting replies to the most frequently asked questions on our web site on Friday morning.
  

We'll play it by ear. We're staying forty five minutes from Austin under normal cirumstanes. I have no idea how long it will take under these circumstances. I think they're telling people not to evacuate anymore, so maybe the roads will clear up tomorrow. It's supposed to be 100 degrees in Austin tomorrow, so maybe Lyle Lovett will have to be skipped. Saturday and Sunday will probably be on, though unless it's just impossible to get to or Rita changes directions again.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
We'll play it by ear. We're staying forty five minutes from Austin under normal cirumstanes. I have no idea how long it will take under these circumstances. I think they're telling people not to evacuate anymore, so maybe the roads will clear up tomorrow. It's supposed to be 100 degrees in Austin tomorrow, so maybe Lyle Lovett will have to be skipped. Saturday and Sunday will probably be on, though unless it's just impossible to get to or Rita changes directions again.

Are there JAPS in Texas and do they evacuate differently than the rest of you? (no Fleet's jokes please)

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
This makes me sad. I miss the JAPs. Seattle is not very JAPpy. I know one person here who fancies herself a JAP and I am probably more JAPpy than she is. [sigh]


OTOH, there are no blumpkins with JAPs, right Sebbie?

Don't ask me... I seem to have touched all the bases in re: ethnicity and race and culture, but for some silly reason, I have never had luck with the Japs. I've dealt with half/quater/one third-Japs and constructive Japs, but the real, honest to goodness, 100% bloodline-through-the-mother article has eluded me.

And what's stranger is, nearly 50% of my close guy friends are Jewish, and none of them have had much luck with picking up pure Japs. I'm beginning to think the true Jap is extinct.

What's passing for Jap these days ain't the real article. I see mostly Catholic chicks acting out the part more and more... YMMV...

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I'm beginning to think the true Jap is extinct.

What's passing for Jap these days ain't the real article. I see mostly Catholic chicks acting out the part more and more... YMMV...

you know how people say nfh isn't female? I don't know about that- but having seen this post I can say with 100% reliability that Sebby is faking that he lives in Philly. Maybe he's a notbob sock from Podunk?