General discussion - Mom and Dad Esq.

[viet_mom]

Here's my input:

I'm single, but I still work part time so I can be with Viet Babe more. I wanted a Nanny for the Babe's young years and even though I do not live in a big city, I was paying way over market rate for Nannies in the area AND I was paying her portion of state taxes as well as mine, AND an estimate of what her fed taxes would be. No matter how good the hours and money were, and no matter the fancy agency I used with the $2,600 fee, our Nanny took off with nary a word after 6 months. It turns out she took the job knowing she'd be leaving the country in 6 months (to live in style on her Nanny salary in a country where it goes a long way) and then she'd come back six months later, find a new set of parents and work for 6 months, etc. etc. I have not had good luck with Nannies. I have not found that the more you pay means the more reliable they are.

I paid over $600 a week for the Nanny. Now that I'm in daycare (a real good one - Kindercare) it is only $258 a week, and that buys me a significant amount more hours than the Nanny worked (6 am to 6 pm, although I would never need to use all those hours). And the care she gets there is so far superior to the Nanny care. There's arts and crafts, music and "wacky gym" programs that come to the center once a week, little "parades" around the place, and a huge outdoor playground, and two hot meals a day, and they arrange for a photographer to come to the center so you have professional photos once or twice a year and....oh, and they are ALWAYS open and they don't quit or call in sick. A nurse there. I could go on but I'll stop there. It is crazy to think that I paid double for Nanny care, and then also paid for "Music Together" and Gymboree apart from that whereas we get all of that together in a safe fun environment with other kids.

I think Nanny care at home is good when the kid is still a "blob" and half asleep and/or can't hold his/her head up. Good to keep them home when they're in such a sorry state. After that -- for us it was 18 months -- day care should at least be considered.

Vietmom

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by viet_mom
Here's my input:

I'm single, but I still work part time so I can be with Viet Babe more. I wanted a Nanny for the Babe's young years and even though I do not live in a big city, I was paying way over market rate for Nannies in the area AND I was paying her portion of state taxes as well as mine, AND an estimate of what her fed taxes would be. No matter how good the hours and money were, and no matter the fancy agency I used with the $2,600 fee, our Nanny took off with nary a word after 6 months. It turns out she took the job knowing she'd be leaving the country in 6 months (to live in style on her Nanny salary in a country where it goes a long way) and then she'd come back six months later, find a new set of parents and work for 6 months, etc. etc. I have not had good luck with Nannies. I have not found that the more you pay means the more reliable they are.

I paid over $600 a week for the Nanny. Now that I'm in daycare (a real good one - Kindercare) it is only $258 a week, and that buys me a significant amount more hours than the Nanny worked (6 am to 6 pm, although I would never need to use all those hours). And the care she gets there is so far superior to the Nanny care. There's arts and crafts, music and "wacky gym" programs that come to the center once a week, little "parades" around the place, and a huge outdoor playground, and two hot meals a day, and they arrange for a photographer to come to the center so you have professional photos once or twice a year and....oh, and they are ALWAYS open and they don't quit or call in sick. A nurse there. I could go on but I'll stop there. It is crazy to think that I paid double for Nanny care, and then also paid for "Music Together" and Gymboree apart from that whereas we get all of that together in a safe fun environment with other kids.

I think Nanny care at home is good when the kid is still a "blob" and half asleep and/or can't hold his/her head up. Good to keep them home when they're in such a sorry state. After that -- for us it was 18 months -- day care should at least be considered.

Vietmom

We have had our kids in day care and/or pre-school since a very early age, and much prefer it to having a nanny for many of these reasons. They're social, and we'd rather have them around other kids than alone with a nanny. To be sure, it would be easier logistically to deal with a nanny, but all in, that's a trade-off we can take.

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by Trepidation_Mom
My new nanny (with whom we are very happy) has raised the question of sick days and paid vacation time. Which we didn't really discuss (or think about, honestly) when hiring her. What is standard? We are in NYC, and are paying her $12/hour (but are more or less treating it like we have her on weekly salary at that rate, so if she comes in late or we get home late we don't bother counting minutes).

Is it customary to pay her for a certain number of sick-days a year? If so, how many? Is paid vacation even heard of? (Is $12 per hour exhorbinant for a CPR trained nanny with experience?)

I'm really OK with giving her 2 weeks paid vacation and 2 weeks worth of sick days per year (maybe only because I don't want to be a nasty, rich cheapskate extorting the labor of the lower classes, or whatever) but she already makes more than my husband brings home after taxes, so ....

OMG quite the upper crust bunch we have here.

[pony_trekker]

lyrics to O' Canada?

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by pony_trekker
lyrics to O' Canada?

here

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by pony_trekker
lyrics to O' Canada?

Because I'm nice:

O Canada
Our home and native land
true patriot love
in all thy sons command

with glowing hearts
we see thee rise
the true north strong and free
from far and wide
O Canada
we stand on guard for thee

God keep our land
Glorious and free
O Canada we stand on guard for thee
O Canada we stand on guard for thee

The french lyrics are way better. All about carrying the cross and sword and glorious heroicism. What people think of when they think "Canada".

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
What people think of when they think "Canada".

French Canada, at least.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
French Canada, at least.

Right.

[dtb]

But my son's kindergarten class came up with the following list of "What Makes a Good Friend", and I thought it was worth sharing:

A friend is someone who...

• says nice things to everyone.
  plays with you.
  shares toys and other things with you.
  is patient and polite.
  always listens.
  tells the truth.
  uses his words and not his body.
  includes people in his games.
  reads with you.
  has sleepovers.
  takes a walk with you.
  plays safely with others.
  pays attention to what you are saying.
  cares about you and takes care of you.
  has playdates with you.
  makes you feel good and happy.
  draws with you.
  helps you with your problems.
  always makes up with you.
  after a disagreement, always gives a handshake or a hug and says, "I'm sorry".

I think I would like to have one of these "friends"!

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Looking for help from the NY'ers and anybody else who has spent time in TCOTU with kids around Christmas. Mid-December, I'll be heading to NYC with the Mrs., 4-year old Ruth Bader Ramone, and 2-month old Sandra Day Ramone, visiting the s-i-l and taking in the sights. Looking for input on the following:

1. Must-sees/must-dos with a 4 year old in TCOTU around Christmas;

2. Hotel recommendations. We're in town for 4 nights total. We'll probably spend 2 nights in my s-i-l's place in Brooklyn, and look to spend a couple of nights in a hotel. Looking for someplace cool, well-located, kid-friendly, and not super-duper expensive.

3. Restaurants: 2 categories. 1, cool and kid friendly; 2. a good place to go with Mrs. Ramone while s-i-l watches the kids.

Any advice much appreciated. Post or pm if you don't want to bore everybody else.

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
Mid-December, I'll be heading to NYC with the Mrs., 4-year old Ruth Bader Ramone, and 2-month old Sandra Day Ramone...

You are either very brave or very stupid. Good luck either way.


ETA - Congrats on the arrival of little Sandy

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Because I'm nice:

O Canada
Our home and native land
true patriot love
in all thy sons command

with glowing hearts
we see thee rise
the true north strong and free
from far and wide
O Canada
we stand on guard for thee

God keep our land
Glorious and free
O Canada we stand on guard for thee
O Canada we stand on guard for thee

The french lyrics are way better. All about carrying the cross and sword and glorious heroicism. What people think of when they think "Canada".

Wait, if I marry you then my kid doesn't have to get drafted to guard Halliburton guys in Iraq?

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
2. Hotel recommendations. We're in town for 4 nights total. We'll probably spend 2 nights in my s-i-l's place in Brooklyn, and look to spend a couple of nights in a hotel. Looking for someplace cool, well-located, kid-friendly, and not super-duper expensive.

While it's undergoing renovations that will undoubtably make it much less cheap and much less cool (but definitely more chic), I think the Gramercy Park Hotel (www.gramercyparkhotel.com)is a great choice with kids. The rooms are huge, relatively speaking, and access to the park is nice for the kids. It's not "kid friendly" in the sense of having a pool or Disney characters or whatever. It's just in a great location. Downside is that it's needed a renovation for about 30 years. It's about a block and a half from the subway.

Try to get a king size suite overlooking the park on the back side elevators.

Cheap is, of course, relative. You can probably get a suite there for about $250 a night (maybe a little more around Christmas), but that gets you a living room with a fold out couch and a seperate bedroom. Anyplace in midtown is going to run that for a 100 sq.ft. single.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by TexLex
You are either very brave or very stupid. Good luck either way.


ETA - Congrats on the arrival of little Sandy

I think I'm just sleep deprived, and thus not thinking straight. But I've paid for the plane tickets, so I'm committed (or, perhaps, should be committed). We've got the sister-in-law to act as nanny and guide once we get there, so assuming we can survive the flights (direct, thankfully), I think we'll be okay.

And thanks.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by baltassoc
While it's undergoing renovations that will undoubtably make it much less cheap and much less cool (but definitely more chic), I think the Gramercy Park Hotel (www.gramercyparkhotel.com)is a great choice with kids. The rooms are huge, relatively speaking, and access to the park is nice for the kids. It's not "kid friendly" in the sense of having a pool or Disney characters or whatever. It's just in a great location. Downside is that it's needed a renovation for about 30 years. It's about a block and a half from the subway.

Try to get a king size suite overlooking the park on the back side elevators.

Cheap is, of course, relative. You can probably get a suite there for about $250 a night (maybe a little more around Christmas), but that gets you a living room with a fold out couch and a seperate bedroom. Anyplace in midtown is going to run that for a 100 sq.ft. single.

I would also endorse the High Bar which is the rooftop of the Gramercy Park Hotel. It has a very good outdoor patio but it is heated so you can sit out there in the winter. People say it is scene-y, but I disagree. Mostly low-key crowd except for the occasional celebrity who goes there in the winter because you can smoke on the patio year-round. Also the hotel bar (on the first floor) is very comfortable.